Confession... Day 19
 

Just heard back from my doctor on third blood test and ultrasound results.

The last time I drank was June 8th. June 10th I went in to see my doc for help with the shakes, night sweats, etc. (librium and little pink pills for my heart). The 11th my blood test came back and my liver enzyme numbers were significantly elevated. He sent me in for an abdominal ultrasound the next day and another blood test on the 20th.

I just got the results back... one enzyme number is back to normal, and the other is down from 330'ish to 110 (not quite normal yet). The ultrasound showed no gallstones, no kidney, spleen, or gall bladder issues, no scarring (cirrhosis) and only a fatty liver... which should heal with time.

The first thought I had was... phew! After 30 years of drinking, progressing to about a gallon p/week of Popov I was very relieved.

My second thought was - oh crap! Now that I know I haven't done any major damage - I can have a drink! Keep me in your prayers and thoughts please... I don't want to have to go through this again and I've already got 19 days of sobriety down.

My brain is messing with me now and the liquor store is on my way home... tough fight ahead of me. :(

Your situation is identicle to mine 2 years ago.. My enzymes were around 240 for AST I think.. I quit for 30 days, they got near normal.. That was a hall pass to drink again... So I battled with it for the next 2 years.. Not fun..

Do yourself and everyone that cares for you a favor and quit now.

Wow... really? Two more years?! I hope it doesn't screw with me that long... thanks for the encouragement.

I'm going to have to concur with ImReadyToQuit on this one.

If you get sucked in again, it might take quite a while to snap out of it.

I tried this once after "getting better" also - not smart.

GlenK, I can hear your alcoholic brain churning from here in Kansas City. Don't you dare think IRTQ's experience implies you could drink for another two years and still be OK if you take a 30 day hiatus now!

Or maybe what I'm hearing is my alcoholic brain. :)

I'm just saying that I hope it doesn't take two years for my alcoholic brain to stop this craving...

I'm sure you can all hear the "reasoning" that's going on in my head right now... these 19 days of sobriety have been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. :(

Day 3 Confession...

I know it's hard...I wonder if I'll make it to the day you've made. You're a fighter and I admire you. Keep fighting... keep fighting... God Bless Your Path--

Sorry if I implied I drank for those 2 years consistently.. I'll just say thats where ,y journey started

I would quit or cut back for short periods and when my live pain went away I'd pick it back up again. Proof that the liver could heal so quickly, don't you know. (where is the eye rolling smiley?).

Fear of cirrhosis was never enough to keep me sober.

But realizing that I would really be happier sober, was :)

Glad your health checked out OK. Now you can work on getting your life back! (or, in my case. Building a life I never knew I could have).

YOU can do it, Friend. Drive this recovery like you stole it, because in a sense you have. Alcohol is a jealous lover.

Prayers for you, Glen.

So you've been drinking for 30 years and you found out your health is ok after all.

I'm sure that's a relief, don't screw it up.

After 30 years of drinking how many more recoveries do you have left in you?

Thanks! Love that quote... time for the 25 minute drive home... gonna try to find an alternate route home tonight so I don't have to drive by my "supplier".

Glen....
I'm pleased the results were favorable this time....:yup:
As I grew older..I faced other health issues not related to alcohol.
I'm glad I no longer had to be concerned about my past drinking.
I had enough to deal with without those former issues.

BTW....all my urges to drink did leave rather quickly ..about 2 months into AA recovery. Like you I had been a long time drinker.

this link has some interesting info IMO

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center

Yes you to can win over alcohol..we can and do recover.

I'm glad you got good results GlenK...

Alcoholism is relentless and it can get exponential in pace....you may not be so lucky with a next time.


I think it's a lot like Kenny Rogers...'you gotta know when hold 'em, know when to fold 'em'....

Know when to walk away Glen :)

D

just wait until you have a liver biopsy which confirms you have cirrhosis and the arrogant intern smiles at you and arrogantly states- "you just cut at least x25 years off your life expectancy young man"

please stay sober

Just a question: Do those tests add up to a complete physical exam?

I've had apparently healthy friends die of heart attacks, brain aneurysms, etc. in their 40's. All resulting from lifelong heavy drinking (thinning of arteries etc). Also, my sponsor had to get a full physical and was denied life insurance even after 5 years of sobriety.

Just don't want anyone to get a false sense of security. That much poison in your body causes damage.

No - that is the next step... the last full physical I had was two years ago. My follow up for alcoholism is on July 25th, and then he wants to schedule me in for a full physical.

Thanks to all for your posts/support! Made it home without stopping last night and am focusing on day 20 now.

Glen

I'd been clean and sober for about five years when I just started falling apart. It was horrid. My back went out, my knee went out, I had gastritis so bad I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't believe my rotten luck. I did ask a lot of "why nows?"

I hope that normal tests give you relief and you can continue on with your sobriety without fear but with peace.