EricL

Why I started drinking and why I became an alcoholic are two very different reasons.

I started drinking for many of the "reasons" stated before, social anxiety etc. But what I found was that alcohol does something magical for me. From my very first drink I had that "Ah-Ha!" moment, that feeling that all was right with the world and my anxiety of trying to struggle through life, a life which others seemed to glide through effortlessly. Thus, alcohol became a solution to many of my problems. And, to make matters "worse" it succeeded in that role better than anything I had yet found. It would be a few years before I saw any negative repercussions from my EtOH or drug use, but rest assured it would eventually turn into that proverbial boomerang and slice me to shreds.

Now, why did I become an alcoholic? Like some others have said, I can't answer that question definitively. At some point liquor ceased to be a luxury, I cannot for life of me put my finger on exactly when. But, at some point I began to suffer that strange mental blank spot where previous consequences would not deter me from picking up that drink. I began to experience cravings and withdrawal, and perhaps worst of all I was in the throes of a terrible mental obsession, like an itch that can't be scratched, and itch that permeates into every aspect of my life.

I don't really know how I got there, personally I think I was born with this affliction that just needed time to manifest itself. I don't think my experience with liquor would have been any different if my environment, upbringing, or status in life/society were any different. The important thing is that I was offered a solution to this. And coupled with the desperation only available once I was dying of untreated alcoholism this solution has revolutionized my life. I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out how I got to this point, but all that mattered for me was that this was my current situation and I was confronted by men who were alcoholics of my variety and had a solution that I believed would work for me, and thus far it has.

shantra32

CeeFarro, you took the words out of my mouth. I call the first time I drank "The night I fell in love." For the first time in my whole life, the knot of anxiety in my stomach was gone. I felt alive......how ironic as in the end, I felt dead.

instant

I enjoyed drinking and getting out of it. I had other drugs earlier in my life but gave them up. I have abused over the counter sedative drugs from time to time, usually to give me break from alcohol- gave that up when I was mixing the two.

It's not fun anymore and carrying on will cost me dearly. May be it was all an adventure and I overstayed- I now look forward to the adventure of a life sobriety

loveon2legs

I think being around alcohol when I was younger, made me more willing to drink...I felt grown up....and free....then after that I turned to booze for everything...to celebrate, to relax, to drink my sorrows away...just bottling my feelings.....I can say this now after 17 months..its nice to REALLY feel!!!!!

ImReadyToQuit

I liked to drink..

Thats all.

rws177

I don’t think that one particular thing happened to make me “become” and alcoholic per say. To me alcoholism is a disease and something that has been within me since birth. Tragic or not so pleasant event’s in my life have caused me to realize this as I would drink to cope, feel better, numb pain ect…..

Here I go with my cockamamie super hero comparisons as I can be quite nerdy. Take X-men for example, when magneto gets agitated as a child metal objects around him start to move. Or when Clark Kent (aka superman) get sexually aroused in high school fire shoots from his eye balls. Did the arousal or the agitation cause these powers? No they were in them but masked until something spiked them and they just came out.

So when my dad passed or other bad things happened in my life they didn’t “make” me an alcoholic. I was already “different” in terms of how I dealt with things. I just didn’t know it yet. Sadly this isn’t some cool Jedi mind power and will kill me if I do not control it and keep it under wraps.

DayWalker

I spent years blaming it on different things. Thinking I use to drink because my dad died when I was only 25yrs old. Or because the women I loved broke up with me, or because I was lonely, or because I was a shy person.

But I never started getting better/sober until I finally faced the real reason that I drank. I drank because I liked to get drunk, plain & simple.

Steve

TheEnd

I figured a life without problems and constant turmoil wasn't a life worth living, so that's when I decided that I would become a raging alcoholic and drug addict. So far it's been the best decision I have made. I racked up 2 DUIs, lost a job, almost lost another one, was Baker Acted twice, screwed up my relationship, totaled a car, missed countless vacations, lost respect from friends and family and have not been able to form memories of certain nights due to blackouts.

Soberpotamus

Caroline Knapp's Drinking: A Love Story (for those who are familiar with it... great read!) may not be exactly the way things happened with me, but it's very similar. I initally liked it for easing anxiety in high school. Then, I developed an anxiety disorder along with panic attacks around the age of 18 when I was leaving home for college in another state. I used alcohol all through college. I didn't go to grad school and it's likely alcohol had a lot to do with my rationale. It grew worse until I made myself stop at the age of 27 for 8 months. I picked back up after the death of someone very close to me... my grandmother. I was closer to her than my own mother. Her death devastated me. And I drank for six years after that through a somewhat abusive relationship with an older man... also an alcoholic who was a daily drinker (and I eventually became nearly a daily drinker... although I have never developed a physical dependence on it, no shakes, etc.) Last year, he and I finally parted ways... My mom died tragically from a drug overdose (and she was also a long-time alcoholic) only six months before my ex and I split. He stayed here with me to help me stabilize before leaving. He was good to me in that way. And I appreciate it. Now, after having been racked with grief for well over a year, and drinking so heavily I can barely function to work at times... I've attempted (several times) to quit.

It all started when I drank a few strawberry wine coolers in the backseat of a car one hot summer night... driving all around town with some friends in high school. I LOVED that feeling and I never wanted it to stop. Now... it's nothing but poison for my entire body and mind... and heart.

Linz

This is odd to say but;
I always feel like I need alcohol because I....


I haven't gotten any further than this.

Muunray

I didn't plan on it.
Started drinking heavily in college and continued on.

MrDavid

I was a thrill seeker, plain and simple. Alcohol heightened the thrill and the desire for more, sealed my fate. My alcoholism in a nutshell. That was then and this is now -thank God. No more alcohol, but plenty of good, clean fun -ODAAT.