Wolfy87

I need support.

I am still trying to quit, but it is hard.

Why do I even like alcohol? It tastes awful, but I guess I enjoy forgetting about things. I have anxiety and it seems like when I drink, I don't have any anxiety, but I act strange.

I thought that I was in control of my drinking. I thought that if I could control myself around alcohol, I would be able to drink, but it just isn't worth it anymore. I realize how pitiful it is to ask your girlfriend to hide your keys, your phone, and put a password on your computer that you won't guess to make sure you don't make a poor decision; however, I realize that drinking by itself is a poor decision. I go through so much trouble to make sure I am safe when I drink. I guess I call this drunk proofing myself. =P I just don't trust myself around alcohol anymore.

I wanted to be successful at controlling myself around alcohol because my friends and parents drink. My friends get drunk. My parents get drunk. I guess I thought it was okay for me to get drunk.

To the point:
I drank a lot and paid for it the next day. The hangover was so bad that I almost fainted when I was walking home from work. For the sake of my health, I can't drink anymore.

I really hope that people on this messageboard will accept me as someone who wants to quit and is trying to quit.

Dee74

Welcome Undead
You're among friends here

D

Wolfy87

Thank you so much.

I hope that I have the power to live a sober life.

CarolD

I went back to your earlier threads....to get a better idea of what you have been doing in terms of addressing your addmitted alcoholism.
The meds you are taking can be dangerous when mixed with alcohol..

I suggest you find a local AA group and get active.... ..and keep posting with us too.

All my best

Zencat

Yes! I too thought I could control myself wile intoxicated. It took me decades to finally come to the stark realization that no, alcohol controlled me.

Its good to have a treatment plan out of alcohols influence. Abstinence is a good start, but I needed more to stay quit.

Here is at SR one can make a good start of a treatment plan. Post, discuss, reply, support, vent, plan...all can help with ones new (or renewed) sober lifestyle.

Glad your here.

instant

UNdead I found the following helpful in getting to day 39

• reading on SR everyday
• reading the Big Book- especially the personal stories- other than that drunkologues haven't helped
• doing a very detailed pros and cons list of drinking and abstinence- Thinking about this a lot pulling it apart and putting it together again
• Thinking about the concept of "surrender" which I got onto reading on the first 3 steps of AA
• The rational recovery AVRT short course on the internet
• The gratitude list- I have now been focusing on developing the skill of gratefulness to combat my negativity which along with negative emotional states was used to justfy drinking

Zebra1275

So what's your plan to quit and stay quit? For me, after trying to do it by myself I gave up and tried AA.

Wolfy87

My plan:
-Get on SR everyday
-Find some new hobbies. Do you guys have any hobby ideas?
-Get into religion. I've recently lost my faith, but I think I need to start believing in a higher power. I read that believing in a higher power has helped many alcoholics.
-Working on my OCD and Anxiety without self-medicating. I've been really stressed a lot which stems from the fact that I worry about everything too much. Even my gf has told me lots of times that I need to worry less about things.
-Find some healthy substitutes to alcohol such as drinks that have fruit in them like orange juice or even fruit smoothies.

I read through my first posts and a lot has happened since then. I'm pretty sure I didn't mention this already, but I hung out with a bad crowd when I first moved to a new town for graduate school. They drank a lot which caused me to drink a lot. I went to a party and drank too much. I ended up getting charged with drunk in public (a summary offense in my area.. Thank God!). I had to pay a fine and court costs and of course the summary offense is now on my record.

Then, I stopped drinking for a while until I recovered from that. Then, I started drinking moderately and then I began to drink more heavily when I went out with friends because it turns out I wasn't acting as out-of-control as I used to be. I noticed that I would drink more and more and for the sake of my health and my future I cannot drink alcohol anymore.

Also, I was in several bad relationships since I moved to a new town, all of which ended with me heartbroken. In my last relationship, I was emotionally abused. I would be told how stupid I am and that I am never right about anything... I'm not good at anything.. etc. She would flirt with a lot of guys. She finally told me after I gave her flowers that she didn't like anything about my personality.. so I ended things with her. Then, I stupidly still tried being friends with her, which led to more drama.

Now, I have a great girl in my life. We've been together for over 2 months and we will be celebrating our 3 month anniversary on my bday. Woooohooo! 7 She's the only girl I've connected with so deeply. Her family loves me and I'm going to introduce her to my parents after my bday. I'm so excited! I've never introduced a gf to my parents before.

Kjell

Hi UD-

I simply had to change who I was or the same me will drink again and again and again.

...but I didn't know how. I thought changing my outsides (cars, jobs, cities, girls, etc...) would change my insides, but it never did.

AA showed me how and I haven't had a drink since.

Kjell~

Wolfy87

How do I find AA groups in my area?

Squishyboots

I'm new in this as well - you can do it, we all can! You have realized why we are here, that's a big step.

Wolfy87

Thanks! I'm here because I want to live life to the fullest without alcohol. That's my goal and I think that's everyone's goal. We can all do it!

Kjell

Alcoholics Anonymous :

You'll see a "how to find AA meetings" icon. Simply click on that and put in where you're at and you'll be directed to your local AA website.

If you need any further help or info, just let me know.

Kjell~

PaperDolls

Welcome Undead. I'm glad you found us!

Zebra1275

AA can help with your recovery, but there are other things you can do in conjunction with AA to help keep you sober. Here are two other things I've done. I really ramped up my physical fitness, and now exercise is part of my daily life. Alcoholism is also a disease of isolation so I've really worked on developing new relationships with people, especially in situations where alcohol is not involved.

susanlauren

Undead: My Plan - Get into religion. I've recently lost my faith, but I think I need to start believing in a higher power. I read that believing in a higher power has helped many alcoholics.

Having a religious faith is all well and good if that is something that you want to do and something that is of interest to you. I am Catholic, and I will tell you that my faith and my belief in God (or a Higher Power) has never kept me sober.

I thought it worked like this: "I am alcoholic, I believe in God and I have my faith, I'll just pray to God to keep me sober and I'll get active in my church/religion." That approach did not work for me. Having a Higher Power (alone) did not solve my problem.

What did work for me was taking action along with my belief. I needed a practical program of action (i.e., the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous) that I took which then brought about a personality change sufficient for me to recover from alcoholism.

I echo Kjell and Zebra. Find some AA meetings. These have been instrumental in my getting and staying sober. AA gave me back my life and gave me a life worth having.
Susan

Wolfy87

What is AA like? I've never been to an AA meeting before.

Kjell

I think there are some "stickys" on here that will do a much better job explaining than I will, but...

It's literally a group of people, just like you, recovering, in various stages, from alcoholism.

It's run in an orderly fashion and each meeting house and meeting is a little different than another one, but we're reading and teaching from the same book.

You don't have to say a word and no one will press you. You can walk in, sit in the back, and listen for as long as you want. People may approach you and ask your name, but it's all with good intentions.

My advice is to go tonight, and then tomorrow, go try a different one.

Please let us know, if you go, how it went.

Kjell~

CarolD

What is AA and what do we do in meetings.....

Here is a link with solid info on What....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ower-post.html

and the next one is about Meetings.....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-about-aa.html


Yes they are sticky posts next door on the Alcoholism 12 Step Support Forum...as Kjell~ mentioned

Wolfy87

Well, I'm going to try to do it without AA. I failed once, but I'm really determined to stop drinking this time. For me, I think I know what I have to do to stop. Reading all of your stories has inspired me to stop and I'm already doing things on my own to prevent me from relapsing. I need to learn to trust myself.

My goal in life is to eventually become a father. I'm 23 right now, so I have a while. I want to get a career so I can support a family. For the sake of my future family and friends, I need to learn how to trust myself so I can help others. The problem I have is I haven't been trusting myself, which is crucial for my development. I will learn how to trust myself. Posting on here as helped me. Thanks for the support and I hope you all will continue to give me support with my decision.