BooDeeRadley

Was late to services at my usual church this morning, so I took Mom to a different church. They did communion today, and we took it. When I drank the tiny shot of grape juice, I realized that they had used real wine!

I absolutely did not expect this, and since all the other churches I had been to used grape juice, it didn't occur to me that any protestant church might even consider using alcoholic wine. But it was definitely alcoholic. My liver sucked it up, and just from that tiny little bit, I got a little warmth in my arms and chest.

Damn.

Did I screw up here? Should I say I am back to day 1 sobriety? Tell me I am overreacting. Please.

LovesToTravel

I did exactly the same thing at Christmas Eve services. It was my cousins church and I expected grape juice. I cried and thought that I had messed up but everyone told me that it wasn't wine. What do they say during communion...take this..it is.. so I let it go. Don't let the mistake bring you down. I wasn't going to let it take my 14 months away from me! I wasn't drinking I was taking communion for crying out loud!

BooDeeRadley

Thanks, Doll.

Blood of Christ. I should have remind myself that, but the alcohol made me panic, and kind of drove it from my mind.

nandm

Just my personal take on it....if you honestly thought you were drinking grape juice instead of wine and did not drink any more after the initial drink then I don't believe that constitutes a relapse. Now if you were to now knowingly go have a second glass of it then that would be relapse.

Lionne

I think you didn't screw up and this doesn't need to affect your current sobriety nor your sober time. This was an accidental alcohol ingestion, you didn't know that they used real wine for the communion. At least in my opinion, if you don't consume some drink of food containing alcohol intentionally, you should be fine. See it as the mishap it was and don't let it affect your sobriety. I agree with nandm on the second glass.

Maybe things like this are it's just those kind of experiences that teach us that we sometimes can't expect when and where we will be confronted with alcohol and that nevertheless we can learn to deal with these situations. If you are in a similar situation again in a church that you don't know, and you have second thoughts about drinking the mass "wine", you can just do as if you take a sip and actually don't get it in your mouth. I'm acutally not a religious person and other people might have different views on this, but I don't think that that would change the spiritual experience of communion. After all the word communion means "sharing in common" and you really already do that by being there and taking part in this gatherig od people that believe.
Don't beat yourself up, peace,
Lionne

newby1961

Like everyone else said it is the intention which makes it a relapse.

You really need to work through this though cause this is the sort of thing that are ism loves and it will try and mess with you if you let it.

Pray about it, give it to God, and then move on to the next right indicated step.

Thanks for sharing that though because its important for newcomers to read posts like this.

Mark75

I am catholic and if the blood is offered at communion, it is always wine. But it's not wine, it's the blood of Christ.... The Eucharist.

If you are in a spiritual zone, communing with your fellow worshippers and God, the religious experience of communion rises so far above the issue of whether a couple of milliliters of 16% alcohol entered your mouth as to make the issue of whether you have to reset your sobriety date, well, silly...

Hmm, I take full communion on Easter and Christmas and at other special times, when I am moved to do so... Most of the time I do what about 75% of the other people at mass do, I walk by the chalice. And at the last Christmas mass it wasn't offered and on Easter I went on Saturday. The catholics feel that we get the full benefit of communion if we only take the bread or the wine.

I have reached a point where this communion issue is a non issue... but in the interest of rigorous honesty, I will tell you it was a tough road for me to get to where I am now about it, for a lot of reasons... not the least of which it seems that at least half of my AA home group attends my church and frankly I think it's none of their damn business what I do at communion... but there is one, otherwise delightful, individual who does feel that it's his business... in a sponsorly type way, concerned... I reassure him ... LOL

And of course... it is jolting, bringing alcohol, even in a minute amount, to your lips... if you aren't expecting it, or more importantly, you are not spiritually prepared... in which case, stick with the body (bread)... I have read where people not spiritually ready for this have gone back out over wine at communion... so it is a legitimate concern, especially during early recovery.

Find your own peace with this issue...

CarolD

No you did not break your current run of sober time....

I'm so pleased you and your Mom are attending church services ..

Opivotal

I have to agree with everyone else. It wasn't intentional, and you were caught off guard.
I see no need to change your sobriety date.



Best Wishes Yo You!

endlesspatience

There are no exams to pass in recovery. Nobody is going to carefully check the results of your studies and experiments to see if they are correct. On this forum, you share your experiences with other alcoholics. I would ask why you are turning to us at all on this question. Yes, some of us want to express opinions and offer you assurance that you haven't sinned. But really, who are we to tell you or guide you? This is YOUR recovery not mine. So I say be your own judge on whether this action has in some way compromised your own attitude towards drinking and recovery.

Bikeguy

My church offers both wine and grape juice, I try to take the grape juice but on some Sundays when I get there late and sit in back of church the grape juice is sometimes gone by the time communion gets to the back of the church. And no I do not reset my sober clock on those occasions, it's your sobriety and you know your intentions so my opinion would be it's each persons decision to make.

CarolD

If any one is interested in why I said ...you did not break your current run of sobriety....please Google for info on transubstantiation .

Thanks...

LovesToTravel

I wondered....but was afraid to ask....thanks for asking...I feel better now. I made my decision but am glad that others have agreed.

MickeyAnMeisce

Yeah...that really only works if you belong to a denomination that has some sort of belief in the Real Presence.

That said, I'm not sure how I feel about the idea of relapse. Yes, it does always begin with a single drink, but if you stop after that one drink, does that really constitute a relapse?

I guess my thoughts stem from the concept of relapse as sustained, heavy (yeah, yeah, I know: definition please) usage after a period of abstinence/sobriety, so I don't see having a mouthful of wine, regardless of the motivations, as necessarily being a relapse.

Of course, this is just my new-to-sobriety opinion. Take it (or leave it) for what it is.

Zebra1275

An inadvertent sip of communion wine doesn't count.

A intentional fifth of Jack Daniels does.

Just my opinion.

CarolD

After my decision to quit...I did delibertly drink again....and Yes I did re set my date of sobriety....

Lying to myself and others was a huge part of my drinking...I refuse to allow it in recovery.

The only sober time I count is my own......because I know it is a fact.

Squizz

That's not a slip, that's a sip!

HAHA. From one Catholic to another. Amen!

susanlauren

For many years, I participated fully in Catholic communion. When I first went to AA, I talked with my sponsor at the time about it. Her question to me was: "Did I ever go out on a drinking binge after going to mass and taking communion?" The answer to that question was, "No." I took communion with peace and a clear conscience.

Recently, I have been taking only the host, and not the cup. I changed my practice because of the "peculiar mental twist" aspect of my alcoholism. One day I found myself thinking I could have communion any time (at home) as long as I had a loaf of bread and made the sign of the cross first. Very subtle insanity.

Physically I was not being triggered by the single sip of wine at mass. But mentally, I was in a dangerous place. I talked about it with my current sponsor. Neither of us think God would want me to risk a relapse back into drinking for the sake of communion. Again, I am at peace and with a clear conscious as to my new way of doing things.
Susan

AA4life

I wouldn't call it a relapse myself. But this is how I think of it... There is some sort of threshold that we can pass where our brains have enough alcohol in them that a craving is triggered and when that happens it can lead to very bad things. How many molecules of ethanol (alcohol) need to be in my brain before the phenomenon of craving starts? I don't know, so I keep the amount at zero all the time. This is why I still use alcohol free mouthwash, and stick with foods that shouldn't have alcohol in them. So, no rum balls at Christmas anymore and no boozy gelato deserts on a hot day either.

A psychiatrist once told me that for some alcoholics the phenomenon of craving can kick it when they only have few molecules of alcohol in their brain. He said it was rare but happens. Ever since I learned that I don't even drink orange juice unless it is fresh from the store. Maybe I am pretty hardcore though. But, it is my sobriety, and it is my responsibility to protect it.

Hope my perspective helps.

PS, I am engineer so it helps me to think of it like this. Just in case, keep it at zero people.

:-)

LaFemme

I'm pretty sure any church that offers communion accepts the concept of transubstantiation. I know my Protestant self does.

I believe many churches have switched to grape juice for this concern...however were I to take communion and discover there was alcohol in it I would not be concerned unless I suddenly became very pious and started attending services every day

Well done!