Centered and Grounded
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
Centered and Grounded
How hard is it for you to stay centered and grounded in your daily affairs? Have you ever noticed that some people seem to have an aura about them, call it down to earth, easygoing, together..... they seem to roll with the flow and not come unglued when things go wrong. They radiate a quality that disarms peoples defenses, you just feel comfortable and at ease around them. The polar opposite of that would be the psychic and emotional vampires, we've all known those.
I started the meditation and some other self help/discovery stuff a little while ago and thought I was on my way to joining the centered-grounded group. Got up this morning and one of my cats knocked my cup of coffee over which spilled all over my keyboard. (they don't work that well full of liquids) I then went out to mow my lawn and ot course the lawnmower was out of gas and the gas can was empty. Put the can in my jeep to get gas, turn the key and it goes click, click, click (turns out some idiot....me, went shopping the night before and forgot to turn the interior lights off).
Now, this was beyond trivial stuff yet I felt a psychic change creeping into my brain. I had to stop take a minute, reboot, get recentered and go on with the day. Believe it or not that psychic change in the past was usually all it took to decide that a few drinks might not be a bad idea. Seems that attaining a healthy state of mind is only half the battle, maintaining it on a daily basis is the other half. Do you guys have to recenter yourself on a daily basis or do you just stay awesome all the time?
I started the meditation and some other self help/discovery stuff a little while ago and thought I was on my way to joining the centered-grounded group. Got up this morning and one of my cats knocked my cup of coffee over which spilled all over my keyboard. (they don't work that well full of liquids) I then went out to mow my lawn and ot course the lawnmower was out of gas and the gas can was empty. Put the can in my jeep to get gas, turn the key and it goes click, click, click (turns out some idiot....me, went shopping the night before and forgot to turn the interior lights off).
Now, this was beyond trivial stuff yet I felt a psychic change creeping into my brain. I had to stop take a minute, reboot, get recentered and go on with the day. Believe it or not that psychic change in the past was usually all it took to decide that a few drinks might not be a bad idea. Seems that attaining a healthy state of mind is only half the battle, maintaining it on a daily basis is the other half. Do you guys have to recenter yourself on a daily basis or do you just stay awesome all the time?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Let's see what glitches I dealt with yesterday...and did not blow my stack...
..and how I over came them.
I have no cat..mower or Jeep but.......
My son was Mr. Grouch while we ran our weekly errands...I treated him to breakfast. Food was good...he smoothed out.
My small magnifying lighted glass quit working in supermarket.I buy batteries...customer service guy puts them in..still no light.
This makes shopping extra diffuclt...I came home with a headache..so took asprin. Quick fix.
My script for breathing med is out of refills...must contact today so I can get more....complicated as doctor is on vacation.
will call my GP instead....and cross fingers
call 800 # to order bulb...they no longer make that model...so I choose a new one. I have no credit card...meaning I use MO....so
today will go to PO ..an AA friend will drive me.
Eletric bill arrived w/o the usual return envelope..plus it was doubled because of heat wave..
I gather up the info...friend will have to assist me with writing both the MO's and addressing the blank envelope of my own.
I'll give her money for gas...and hope we can also work in a noon meeting.
Workmen next door made nap impossible...I decide to try again in early evening. Band of thunderstorms came flying in...woke me and
lights go out...Drat! Take a flashlight and portable radio ...get back into bed. Doze off.....all is ok.
The blessing? No thoughts of having a drink popped up...the Serenity Prayer got a work out...
..and how I over came them.I have no cat..mower or Jeep but.......
My son was Mr. Grouch while we ran our weekly errands...I treated him to breakfast. Food was good...he smoothed out.
My small magnifying lighted glass quit working in supermarket.I buy batteries...customer service guy puts them in..still no light.
This makes shopping extra diffuclt...I came home with a headache..so took asprin. Quick fix.
My script for breathing med is out of refills...must contact today so I can get more....complicated as doctor is on vacation.
will call my GP instead....and cross fingers
call 800 # to order bulb...they no longer make that model...so I choose a new one. I have no credit card...meaning I use MO....so
today will go to PO ..an AA friend will drive me.
Eletric bill arrived w/o the usual return envelope..plus it was doubled because of heat wave..
I gather up the info...friend will have to assist me with writing both the MO's and addressing the blank envelope of my own.
I'll give her money for gas...and hope we can also work in a noon meeting.
Workmen next door made nap impossible...I decide to try again in early evening. Band of thunderstorms came flying in...woke me and
lights go out...Drat! Take a flashlight and portable radio ...get back into bed. Doze off.....all is ok.
The blessing? No thoughts of having a drink popped up...the Serenity Prayer got a work out...
Last edited by CarolD; 06-16-2011 at 04:05 AM.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
I lose my center/ground and have to actively reconnect to it all the time. I am more mellow/grounded when I meditate and do other things that support center/ground more often.
Someone asked the founder of aikido how he stays centered all the time. He said he loses his center/ground often; he just re-centers quickly. I love that story.
I think there's a lot to be learned by losing our center/ground and figuring out how to re-center. Also, the more you practice, the easier it gets.
A teacher explained it as- you could have a 50 pound ability to center, which means that a 51 pound situation will knock you off center. Her idea is that you can increase your ability to center, but there can always be situations that knock you off center.
My ability to center/ground or stay mellow fluctuates a lot. When I meditated everyday, it helped a lot, in terms of being mellow and not anxious.
Someone asked the founder of aikido how he stays centered all the time. He said he loses his center/ground often; he just re-centers quickly. I love that story.
I think there's a lot to be learned by losing our center/ground and figuring out how to re-center. Also, the more you practice, the easier it gets.
A teacher explained it as- you could have a 50 pound ability to center, which means that a 51 pound situation will knock you off center. Her idea is that you can increase your ability to center, but there can always be situations that knock you off center.
My ability to center/ground or stay mellow fluctuates a lot. When I meditated everyday, it helped a lot, in terms of being mellow and not anxious.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 38
love the reboot thing! If only there were a magic button to press. Anyway, I try to do something similar as I have no one to pray to and for me meditation is waaay down the line too (total A-type personality). What I am doing now is choosing not to react to things that would previously have driven me crazy, not giving in to the instinctive behaviour. Just simple things like stubbing my toe, spilling something, etc. I smile (difficult) and say to myself this too will pass -- the pain, the irritation. Then redirect my energies into cleaning up the mess or whatever. For me it works. Good luck!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
The past couple of days were a series of events that once would have put me into an absolute tailspin. My older son (24), who has been struggling for a long time with getting a job and staying employed was fired from his new job. I discovered a slow leak in my basement ceiling that has rotted out the ceiling/floor and after three visits from plumbers discovered was coming from my refrigerator.
I was worried about my son, but worked on trusting that things will work out for him somehow. Yesterday he was hired for a new job, better hours, money and "fit" for him than the one he just lost.
I found the refrigerator part online that I need, and I am going to try to fix it myself before having the repairman visit. I figured out on my own how to stop the water in the meantime. I have friends in AA who are carpenters and painters, and I'm sure someone will give me a reasonable deal on repairing the damage.
Meantime, work stress goes on, but I am doing what I can and letting go of what I can't.
Not totally calm and centered 24/7, but yeah, most of the time, I am, or can get back to it.
I was worried about my son, but worked on trusting that things will work out for him somehow. Yesterday he was hired for a new job, better hours, money and "fit" for him than the one he just lost.
I found the refrigerator part online that I need, and I am going to try to fix it myself before having the repairman visit. I figured out on my own how to stop the water in the meantime. I have friends in AA who are carpenters and painters, and I'm sure someone will give me a reasonable deal on repairing the damage.
Meantime, work stress goes on, but I am doing what I can and letting go of what I can't.
Not totally calm and centered 24/7, but yeah, most of the time, I am, or can get back to it.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
It's hard to explain but I'll give it a shot. It seems that when you become consciously aware of how you want to feel you quickly notice when you're deviating off course. Kind of like your brain can invoke the fight or flight response when there is no real danger, you get all worked up, thoughts start racing, your mind goes into overdrive when the situation doesn't at all warrant such a response. That's what seems to drive a lot of anxiety.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne 
It seems that when you become consciously aware of how you want to feel you quickly notice when you're deviating off course.
Right-sized expectations had to come to me.....I don't think I created them on my own..... it was really more like an "awakening" that I know I didn't cause myself (thanks HP..... u-da-man).
On another note...... I don't believe there are ppl who are "truly grounded all the time." To be honest, my PERCEPTION is that those people exist but I don't think there are any recordings in the history of man of folks (other than some past religious/spiritual leaders - but they're few and far between) who just walk around always at ease, always connected, always centered, with right-sized egos and expectations.....lives that are just wonderful all the time. Don't get me wrong, TV shows when I was a kid depicted that sort of existence all the time but that's TV, not reality.
Reality is we DO get "off the beam" all the time. What REALLY MATTERS IS HOW WE HANDLE LIFE WHEN WE'RE NOT CENTERED. We're all going to have failures. We're all going to make mistakes. We're all going to screw things up on small, big and HUGE levels. So be it....... What matters most though, is how well we get back on the beam - how quickly we recognize our current reality and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
......which takes us right into "programs of action." Am I doing what I need to be doing to get / stay sober and happy? Am I doing everything I can/should be doing? Am I living a better life in sobriety or am I pulling the same old crap but just not drinking? Am I helping my fellows? Am I demonstrating patience, tolerance, love, compassion, and so on?
The truth is, what I (we alcoholics) really like to do is "think" about being a better person. I/we like to fantasize about fixing things and doing the right thing all the time.........but if you watch my/our ACTIONS, well, they don't always reflect my/our intentions for improvement. And unfortunately for someone like me/us, the real "meat" is in the actions I/we take not in the failures or the successes or the feelings or the thoughts.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,947
Originally Posted by oak
Someone asked the founder of aikido how he stays centered all the time. He said he loses his center/ground often; he just re-centers quickly. I love that story.
Like a whole lot of things in life, practice to accomplish.
I was taught grounding exercises at the mental health clinic. When I become aware of strong emotional, or better yet, when I can sense strong unsettling emotions coming on, I can usually get myself centered again. I'll take a brief pause, clear my mind with a few deep breaths and ask myself questions like; whats going on, what do I need to do, what is happening, ect.
Sometimes the answer is nothing, its out of my hands. By asking myself questions, I can refocus on finding solutions. It helps me to switch from paying attention to being in a high emotional state, to a problem solving frame of mind. I love to problem solve. In the case of its out of my hands, the solution may be acceptance, letting go, allowing it to pass or meditate.
I'm no angel by any means. Sometimes it takes more time than I would like to get back to center again. But the good thing is I do have a grounded center as usual for a jumping off point to return back to. I cant get centered again if there was no center in the first place.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne
...Have you ever noticed that some people seem to have an aura about them, call it down to earth, easygoing, together..... they seem to roll with the flow and not come unglued when things go wrong.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wu_wei
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
An old timer shared recently that he had lost it because his shoe laces snapped in the morning...i heard on an AA speaker tape a while ago that we can stop and start the day again anytime we want, i.e. we don't have to wait for the next day...that's the trick for me, i'm a lot better than i was but by no means am awesome all the time...
I was a raving lunatic in active addiction so i'm happy with the progress i have made so far:-)
I was a raving lunatic in active addiction so i'm happy with the progress i have made so far:-)
Eternally Grateful 4/25/08
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 212
Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne
Do you guys have to recenter yourself on a daily basis or do you just stay awesome all the time?
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
Originally Posted by cocobella
Another contender for best SR quote of all time! Right behind "I don't know whether to laugh or puke," written in the substance abuse forum by some poor soul in withdrawal. Bless their heart!
Do you guys have to recenter yourself on a daily basis or do you just stay awesome all the time?
That was a leading question cocobella. Not meant to be taken literally but to evoke a response...
Eternally Grateful 4/25/08
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 212
Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne
Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne
Do you guys have to recenter yourself on a daily basis or do you just stay awesome all the time?
That was a leading question cocobella. Not meant to be taken literally but to evoke a response...
Do you guys have to recenter yourself on a daily basis or do you just stay awesome all the time?
That was a leading question cocobella. Not meant to be taken literally but to evoke a response...
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 362
Some days I feel awesome. Other days I feel tested. Most days it's a fluctuation. I'm learning to find my natural balance. I find that when I learn something, the universe has a tendency of testing to see how much I have progressed. Usually this involves getting thrown through a few loops. I generally find that I habitually get thrown off-kilter, but I am able to recover more easily as time elapses and sometimes not take the bait at all. It's a process; let it flow.
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