Relapse and Failure??
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by bmwcycle 
the way I look at it is that person had 730 days of sobriety and one day or weekend of drinking , That is a huge Victory in my book not a failure. Sure it would have been great not to have relapsed but I would take that ratio any day.
When I first attended recovery meetings, my goal was to just cut back on how often I drank. I did have some success at first. I would stay sober for 12 days and relapse every-other weekend. At first that felt like a victory.
The problem was, I had no idea just how fast this disease/illness could progress. My every-other weekend binge quickly turned into 3-4 day blackouts followed by 2-3 day bouts with the DT's. Even though the number of days I drank went down, the total amount I drank went up. The damage it was causing to my health, career and marriage went up exponentially.
Even staying sober 30-45 days in a row made it worse. The disease only progressed faster after abstinense. Even those who stay sober 5-10 years say the same thing:
"It always gets worse, it never gets better".
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
It's just one day at a time. I've counted years but what makes a difference is this hour, this minute, I'm here for all of it. I'm not a failure if I'm still standing at the end of the day. I can screw up a million times a day, but if I'm sober at the end of it, nothing else really matters (to me). By screw up, I mean, forget to put the milk back in the fridge, forget to put the pot of coffee on in the morning, etc.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by bmwcycle
It seems to me that this is not a black and white issue. There is another thread about "Dry Drunks" and has gone down a similar path. Why is that??
Alcoholism is progressive. If it weren't, then a slip wouldn't be a big deal at all, it would be like having a big slice of cake when you're on a diet.
Most of us ARE "failures"--we fail at drinking normally. Drinking is what alcoholics DO in the absence of some kind of reliable way to live without drinking. It isn't a "moral failure"--we don't usually do this sort of thing intentionally just to harm ourselves or others. But a slip does indicate something in the "system" we are using to stay sober isn't right. So it behooves us to fix whatever that is so we CAN reliably not drink.
I've never seen people at AA heap scorn or disdain on people who slip. I've seen expressions of concern, compassion, and sincere hopes and prayers that they will get back to sobriety.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,900
Originally Posted by bicycler
I have learn a lot about self and my life is much better since I have been reading and posting on these boards. I am a little over 5 months sober and doing very well so far. Anyway.
Originally Posted by bicycler
Part of my thought process was remembering what Charlie Sheen said about AA and its success rate of 5% or something. He based it his stance, that most of the people that go into AA drink again in some way shape of form, he may be right.
What I have found to be true with me and a large group of peers I have interaction with...here on SR and outside in the addiction treatment world...that it is for secular peeps like myself, recovery from addiction comes from a desire to be grater that the choice to drink.
I found that cutting through the metaphysical wobbly go0p, brain twisters and pondering on the meaning of everything...The quickest solution to what would have you believe as a complex quagmire is to...find your solution to addiction and be blessed in it.
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