The feeling of Inevitability
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
I had many 'storms' like that in my first 12 months. And yes still at 9 months. On the positive side, I think you did well identifying where you were going - that can be key - and weathering it until it passed.
I had many times I felt as if I'd stagnated and there was nowhere else to go, but ended up making another breakthrough from it just when I'd thought I'd exhausted them. I've had to get used to things not always going my way, or the way I expected them to... but it's all okay. Sometimes it works out better a different way.
In my second year, doing pretty well, I still have that thought in the back of my mind... what if some day something happens that tips me over the edge? I don't feel bullet proof and can't ever take recovery for granted. But I can really only focus on today, one day at a time, and take the future as it comes.
I had many times I felt as if I'd stagnated and there was nowhere else to go, but ended up making another breakthrough from it just when I'd thought I'd exhausted them. I've had to get used to things not always going my way, or the way I expected them to... but it's all okay. Sometimes it works out better a different way.
In my second year, doing pretty well, I still have that thought in the back of my mind... what if some day something happens that tips me over the edge? I don't feel bullet proof and can't ever take recovery for granted. But I can really only focus on today, one day at a time, and take the future as it comes.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,945
Originally Posted by Zencat 
Sobriety is the starting point that lets me begun the job of having a social, purposeful, creative life. Just being sober and then becoming stagnate in life in general...Yes, that would be very dangerous for me as an addict in treatment too.
This sort of thing is a red flag, a warning that your in a danger zone:
Maybe its time to expand beyond your comfort (boredom) zones. Engage in social activities, make new friends, start a new project at home, go to night school...Get out of the house on a regular basis and do things.
Keep moving forward in your recovery.
This sort of thing is a red flag, a warning that your in a danger zone:
Maybe its time to expand beyond your comfort (boredom) zones. Engage in social activities, make new friends, start a new project at home, go to night school...Get out of the house on a regular basis and do things. Keep moving forward in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Hudster. I want to thank you for your post. I have felt the same way so many times over the past 6 months. Almost like "who are you kidding, you know you're going to drink again".
For me, I just keep going to AA. I have also made commitments that I don't want to back out on. The truth is these feeling do pass. I know when we're going through them they seem impossible to beat, but they do go away. I know what you're going through.
The bottom line is we are what we do. I may think about drinking, I may watch others intently drink, but if I don't drink that's all that matters. I think once enough time passes and enough progress is made in recovery these feeling will come up less and less often. I just cling to my recovery tools in times like these (even when I don't want to). Being sober is no problem when things are rolling right along. But when we hit a bump in the road that is when we're tested. I think the longer we're sober, the less these tests come up.
Best of luck. Thanks for you honesty!!!
For me, I just keep going to AA. I have also made commitments that I don't want to back out on. The truth is these feeling do pass. I know when we're going through them they seem impossible to beat, but they do go away. I know what you're going through.
The bottom line is we are what we do. I may think about drinking, I may watch others intently drink, but if I don't drink that's all that matters. I think once enough time passes and enough progress is made in recovery these feeling will come up less and less often. I just cling to my recovery tools in times like these (even when I don't want to). Being sober is no problem when things are rolling right along. But when we hit a bump in the road that is when we're tested. I think the longer we're sober, the less these tests come up.
Best of luck. Thanks for you honesty!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I know exactly what you mean...i used to get periods of abstinence under my belt but always knew it wasn't forever...
I had to go to AA and do a load of work that i didn't want to do in order to feel like i do today...
Nowadays i struggle to relate to what i was saying just a couple of years ago in very early recovery, one day at a time now means get the most out of each day not just don't drink for today...too much to explain but it's all about change, have you changed inside enough to not want to drink ever again and for it to not even pass as a thought for a second, whether it be to have a drink or to avoid a drink, in your mind?
Anyways i did the work in AA, they have the solution if you want it:-)
I had to go to AA and do a load of work that i didn't want to do in order to feel like i do today...
Nowadays i struggle to relate to what i was saying just a couple of years ago in very early recovery, one day at a time now means get the most out of each day not just don't drink for today...too much to explain but it's all about change, have you changed inside enough to not want to drink ever again and for it to not even pass as a thought for a second, whether it be to have a drink or to avoid a drink, in your mind?
Anyways i did the work in AA, they have the solution if you want it:-)
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