4thekidz

I think I know why many alcoholics relapse around day 40.

I believe that the last of the non-brain organs are finally close to healed- particularly a fatty liver, which supposedly reverts to normal after about six weeks of abstaining and healthy living. I know a bit too much- OK, my liver is better, my heart is better, so it's as if I just reset my body back to healthy nondrinker status, other than my brain, eh? So I think about being a moderate drinker, and the non-healed brain generates the bad behaviors all over again.

Opivotal

In my experience it's that alcoholic voice trying to pull you back in. It's very powerful. Your body feels better, your memory is fading a bit, and all's okay in the world. I'm healed. It's a miracle ......NOT. Don't listen. Know it for what it is...a big fat lie.
I agree with the time period, its tricky!


Best Wishes To You!

Kjell

Hi 4-

That's a pretty detailed description and another example that self knowledge may not be enough for some of us to get and stay sober.

Maybe it's time to let go of some old ideas?

I simply had to change who I was or the same me will drink again, and again, and again.

Kjell~

Brucel

I believe that's why people I hang around emphasize remembering your last drunk. It helps my ever forgetting alcoholic mind, the reality of my situation. What did it feel like in pitiful, incomprehensible, demorilization? What was that really like? Keep searching, preferrably with people who wont co-sign your b/s.

Forwards

Thanks for this thread. My experience of a 40 days relapse is similar but with slightly different reasoning. You say:

OK, my liver is better, my heart is better, so it's as if I just reset my body back to healthy nondrinker status, other than my brain, eh?

Yes but most recently at 40 days my brain was alert with activity but I was slipping back into alcoholic patterns. Drifiting the coffee bars late at night alone just as I did in the pubs, depressed, anxious, isolated and reflecting on past failure and wondering what on earth to do next.

Now I've worked in IT so I know a 'Hard Reset'. The computer system is becoming so unpredictable and unresponsive so (at some risk) you just pull the power plug on the whole thing and hope it comes back more stable with a fresh restart and not too much damage.

My 'Hard Reset' was the long forgotten bottle of vodka I discovered one night weeks ago as the internal triggers and frustrations had built up over time. I'm still struggling to recover.

Grateful to be here today though...

yeahgr8

In my experience it's because alcoholics are still under the disillusion that all they have to do is just stop drinking and their world will be fine, they don't seem to grasp the glaringly obvious (once recovered unfortunately) fact that there must have been underlying problems/issues that made them turn to drink in the first place:-)

Reset

I'm really not a bad guy, I swear!

WritingFromLife

Poor Reset! You've got a whole thread about you!

Mida

Lol, Reset! I hate to admit this but at first glance I did think this was about you...

4thekidz, good analysis of this classic alcoholic thinking that we've reset our bodies and can now start over (read: drink) with nary a consequence...as if!

The cucumber to pickle analogy comes to mind...

drumstick

Day 40, really? According to PAWs, you're looking at 6 months - up to 2 years for a complete system heal. Day 40, I was lucky to start to get limited relief from the emotional rollercoaster I was riding. Without the alcohol, I was now left with the enormous burden of all the lingering emotions/feelings that I did not deal with during active alcoholism.

I don't think I ever felt like, I am now healed, I can drink again or let my mind start something like that in my head, it was when any little emotion was recognized and brought to my attention that I did not have the coping skills (which I do have more of now) I like clockwork would think about alcohol to resolve it.

I don't believe that most alcholics relapse around a particular day, because I can say that about 10, 20, 30 etc days...

It's a complex disease that in fact attacks you when you are the most vulnerable and let your gaurd down, it feeds on emotions/feelings (positive or negative) so to lure you back into it's grasp.

Anyday, be it your 40th day or 400th day of sobriety it will always be waiting.

Hopefully, by the time someone has more sobriety, the obession is put to sleep and their recovery toolkit is full of shiny new tools.

NYCDoglvr

Alcoholism isn't a disease of the elbow, lol.

Denial is perched on our shoulder whispering in our ear "go on, you can have one drink now". I call myself an alcoholic because I can't have one drink. I can decide not to drink, but when I pick up the first drink it may lead to 20 drinks, a blackout, saying terrible things, getting in a car, whatever.

wellwisher

I can say the obsession does go to away.

Working a program does wonders for keeping it away. Always be vigilant in challenging your old belief systems.

I had a lot of problems with looking at myself as a victim, and when times get tough, it is easy to go right back to that thinking (woe is me!). The answer for me is to be of service, keep growing, and to look at each day as a new start; regardless of what's going on.

CarolD

Hmmm...
I'm interested in where that info came from. because ...
my drinking did not affect either my heart or liver...thus healing was not necessary.

I'm unaware that there is a specific day count that makes people return to drinking
and the term...Re Set button regarding alcoholism/sobriety is new to me.

I can share from my experience as an AA recovered alcoholic of 22 years.....
regarless of anything else....
I had to want to quit more than I wanted to drink.

Wishing everyone the joy recovery offers...

4thekidz

All excellent points, but the post spoke to healing and complete recovery from the neck down, most of which is complete in most drinkers after a fairly short sobriety period. Addiction counselors I know speak to day 40 as a huge relapse day because the brain recognizes this quietly.

PAWS is a brain/soul recovery issue, not a body recovery issue.

Carol, when you were drinking, you had a fatty liver because all regular drinkers, alcoholics or otherwise, have fatty livers. It made you sluggish, affected your metabolism of nutrients, and adversely affected digestion. Most of us progress not to fibrosis/cirrhosis because of genetics.

Cell turnover of most major organs is amazing, and yes, alcoholism may not be a disease of the elbow, but regular alcohol consumption is a affects of all of the human body, most of it temporarily.

Dee74

Where are all these factoids from 4thekidz?

D

4thekidz

Harrison's Internal Medicine, The Merck Manual (hepatology section), Mayoclinic.com for the stuff on physiology.

The PAWS info mainly came from reputable links posted on SR threads.

Interesting how the brain recovers it full weight (if not complete function) at two years (by MRI) in studies in alcoholics who abstain completely. This goes against the running theory that the CNS is not a regenerative system. Apparently it is, only slower than everything else.

Boleo

I always did have trouble breaking the 40 day barrier. However, I suspect that it was my brain responsible more than anything else. When ever I broke an old habit in the past, such as smoking, I always found it got easier past the first few weeks.

I also had a long history of a abstaining from certain foods and beverages for Lent and could always white-knuckle it at least that long.

However, when it came to going without alcohol, it seemed to get harder for me the further away I got from my last drink. At the 40 day mark I would become convinced that I would never be comfortable in my own skin ever again.

The only thing that allowed me to break the 6 week mark, was a spiritual awakening that removed the obsession to drink from me root and branch.
It worked so well that I have never had thoughts of drinking haunt my brain since. That's why I now like to say:

"Not drinking has nothing to with why I am sober today".

Kjell

Learning about alcoholism has been very interesting, especially my own. There are so many sources, so many "experts", so many recovery methods, and so many factors, that it's impossible to know the truth.

My recovery took off when I concentrated more on the solution, than the problem.

Most importantly, I learned that self knowledge wasn't enough to help me quit and stay quit.

Kjell~