Choosing Sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 18
Choosing Sobriety
Hey everyone, just introducing myself. Glad to find this site.
I also wanted to share some encouragement as I've been encouraged by others. I'm Christian and struggled with alcohol for several years. I "believed" that I had a disease which caused me to drink. I now know (thank God!) that this is a lie. I only wish I found out sooner. Addiction was my choice and I chose willingly to drink. I liked it so the choice was an easy one...but it was still a choice.
I can't tell you how liberating it is to realize that I have a choice rather than a disease. I once chose alcohol. I now choose sobriety and loving every minute of it!
Hang in there and don't give up!
I also wanted to share some encouragement as I've been encouraged by others. I'm Christian and struggled with alcohol for several years. I "believed" that I had a disease which caused me to drink. I now know (thank God!) that this is a lie. I only wish I found out sooner. Addiction was my choice and I chose willingly to drink. I liked it so the choice was an easy one...but it was still a choice.
I can't tell you how liberating it is to realize that I have a choice rather than a disease. I once chose alcohol. I now choose sobriety and loving every minute of it!
Hang in there and don't give up!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,948
It was a hard won realization that I drank because I picked up that drink. No one made me do it and I didn't lose my mind before I did it. I was there all right, drinking when I didn't intend to, more that I planed and more often that I would like to. In other words I was addicted to booze.
I had to break through the denial, the deception, the lies that I was being blinded with. The truth was I was willing to drink no matter what the neat little game of deception I was playing with myself. My precious self-image said no, I cant be doing this to myself, yet my actions spoke louder that my personal game of hide and seek from my reality.
I did what I did in addiction and I have no one to blame, circumvent, cultivate a ponderous story of ill-responsibility, false release, nor surrender to my concocted story of unaccountability. Yep, I drank and I did it in spite of grave circumstances.
No doubt I had to do something other that the most recovery popular recovery espouses, Be the change that I seek. Or not be changed by that that is unseen. Sure each system of recovery works as one is willing to allow it to work. This is true. But I had to find my own truth. And it is by that truth I gain a bit more sanity, some more emotional balance, a bit of grace...that keeps me highly motivated, each day to be a better person for my family, friends, and everybody that I can embrace.
Thanks and a big welcome Freeinhim for being here at SR. And a big thanks for reminding me what it takes (action without rationalization) to make each day just a litter better in my life of addiction treatment
I had to break through the denial, the deception, the lies that I was being blinded with. The truth was I was willing to drink no matter what the neat little game of deception I was playing with myself. My precious self-image said no, I cant be doing this to myself, yet my actions spoke louder that my personal game of hide and seek from my reality.
I did what I did in addiction and I have no one to blame, circumvent, cultivate a ponderous story of ill-responsibility, false release, nor surrender to my concocted story of unaccountability. Yep, I drank and I did it in spite of grave circumstances.
No doubt I had to do something other that the most recovery popular recovery espouses, Be the change that I seek. Or not be changed by that that is unseen. Sure each system of recovery works as one is willing to allow it to work. This is true. But I had to find my own truth. And it is by that truth I gain a bit more sanity, some more emotional balance, a bit of grace...that keeps me highly motivated, each day to be a better person for my family, friends, and everybody that I can embrace.
Thanks and a big welcome Freeinhim for being here at SR. And a big thanks for reminding me what it takes (action without rationalization) to make each day just a litter better in my life of addiction treatment
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 18
Very True
Hey Zencat,
Thanks for sharing your story. I think you are right on. The idea that addiction is a "willing" choice rather than a disease is a popular sentiment today. I think the reason why is because it is easier to believe that something (other than yourself) causes you to drink. Getting mad at a disease and not yourself is more palatable to most people.
I wouldn't mind if the consequences were not so dire. What you believe dictates how you behave. Last week, followers of Harold Camping believed the world would. This belief caused them to act irrationally. They made decisions based on this "irrational" belief and acted them out.
The same is true of the addiction myth. I know because I once believed it. I believed that I had an incurable diesease. This led to feelings of hopelesness and despair. Those emotions gave way to destructive actions (e.g. drinking). I "acted" on the belief that I had an incurable disease and was told that I would be an addict the rest of my life. "So why not drink," I said to myself.
Countering that lie was the most important step in my recovery. I now believe that I am "a new creation in the Christ (2 Cor. 5:17)" and "no longer a slave to sin (Rom. 6:6)."
And guess what, since I no longer believe that I am an addict, I don't behave like one! Does that make life easy? No. Will there be struggles? Yes. But I also believe that I no longer need alcohol to cope. Rational and faith-based beliefs.
What Christ said is undeniably true, the truth really does set you free. And I am free indeed!!!
Again, thanks for sharing and I hope to get to know you and others better in the future.
FIH
Thanks for sharing your story. I think you are right on. The idea that addiction is a "willing" choice rather than a disease is a popular sentiment today. I think the reason why is because it is easier to believe that something (other than yourself) causes you to drink. Getting mad at a disease and not yourself is more palatable to most people.
I wouldn't mind if the consequences were not so dire. What you believe dictates how you behave. Last week, followers of Harold Camping believed the world would. This belief caused them to act irrationally. They made decisions based on this "irrational" belief and acted them out.
The same is true of the addiction myth. I know because I once believed it. I believed that I had an incurable diesease. This led to feelings of hopelesness and despair. Those emotions gave way to destructive actions (e.g. drinking). I "acted" on the belief that I had an incurable disease and was told that I would be an addict the rest of my life. "So why not drink," I said to myself.
Countering that lie was the most important step in my recovery. I now believe that I am "a new creation in the Christ (2 Cor. 5:17)" and "no longer a slave to sin (Rom. 6:6)."
And guess what, since I no longer believe that I am an addict, I don't behave like one! Does that make life easy? No. Will there be struggles? Yes. But I also believe that I no longer need alcohol to cope. Rational and faith-based beliefs.
What Christ said is undeniably true, the truth really does set you free. And I am free indeed!!!
Again, thanks for sharing and I hope to get to know you and others better in the future.
FIH
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
Welcome, Freeinhim! I love your point of view, and it really resonates with me. The only way I've been able to come to terms with the disease concept is that addiction has left my mind dis-eased. A state of unrest, if you will, that makes me want to keep drinking.
Yes, it is our own hand that picks up the drink. Welcome to SR!!!
Yes, it is our own hand that picks up the drink. Welcome to SR!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 18
Thanks lilaC
Hey LilaC,
I know what you mean. Unfortunately alcohol and other substances distort our ability to reason. This leads to even more irrational thinking. Irrational thinking can lead to even more drinking - a viscious cycle.
The good news is that once you quit, reasoning returns. The longer you are sober, the better you are able to reason. The better you are able to reason, the greater your will-power to abstain. Another kind of "cycle," but this one is not viscious; it is beautiful and pure.
FIH
I know what you mean. Unfortunately alcohol and other substances distort our ability to reason. This leads to even more irrational thinking. Irrational thinking can lead to even more drinking - a viscious cycle.
The good news is that once you quit, reasoning returns. The longer you are sober, the better you are able to reason. The better you are able to reason, the greater your will-power to abstain. Another kind of "cycle," but this one is not viscious; it is beautiful and pure.
FIH
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Whether you want to believe it or not, addiction is a disease. The reason it is a disease is because of the following:
# The illness can be described.
# The course of the illness is predictable and progressive
# The disease is primary – that is, it is not just a symptom of some other underlying disorder.
# It is permanent.
# It is terminal. If left untreated, it results in insanity or premature death.
What you choose to do with it is your choice. You can either surrender to the disease and continue drinking or surrender to the solution and stop drinking.
Just like if you were a diabetic, you have a choice to eat a diet more suited for your needs and to check your blood sugar regularly.
Some people do what they need to do to live a happy and productive life and some people don't.
Welcome to SR!!
# The illness can be described.
# The course of the illness is predictable and progressive
# The disease is primary – that is, it is not just a symptom of some other underlying disorder.
# It is permanent.
# It is terminal. If left untreated, it results in insanity or premature death.
What you choose to do with it is your choice. You can either surrender to the disease and continue drinking or surrender to the solution and stop drinking.
Just like if you were a diabetic, you have a choice to eat a diet more suited for your needs and to check your blood sugar regularly.
Some people do what they need to do to live a happy and productive life and some people don't.
Welcome to SR!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 18
Thanks
Hi TheEnd and thanks for welcoming me aboard. Since you took the time to describe why you believe addiction is a disease, then let me respond to each of your points:
# The illness can be described.
Yes, many things can be described. I can describe a beautiful sunset. Is that a disease? No. The mere fact that I can describe something does not make it a disease, it makes it capable of being described.
# The course of the illness is predictable and progressive
Really? So when people quit cold-turkey, is that predictable? Some use more, some use less, and some quit altogether. Not very predictable.
# The disease is primary – that is, it is not just a symptom of some other underlying disorder.
This is a circular argument. You are arguing that a disease is a disease because it is a disease. It is like trying to prove that the sky is blue by arguing that it is primarly blue.
# It is permanent.
Not true. Many people "kick the habit" and never return. But let's say that it was permanent. Would that prove it was a disease? Breathing is permanent (while you are alive). Is breathing a disease? No.
# It is terminal. If left untreated, it results in insanity or premature death.
This is not true of all addictive behaviors. Addiction to gambling, for example, is not terminal, does not result in instanity, and does not result in death. Now you could be arguing that alcohol addiction is terminal if left untreated. But even this is not true. Many "heavy drinkers" live a long life and die of something completely unrelated to their alcohol consumption. This was true of a relative of mine. He didn't go insane and did not die from alcoholism or drinking.
And even if alcohol was terminal, that does not make it a disease. It simply means that consuming alcohol is really, really bad for you. Drinking gasoline is terminal (with the first drink, I suppose). Is that an addicton? No, it's just really, really stupid.
Thank you again for welcoming me aboard. I hope my response was not overly harsh. If that is how you interpreted it, then I apologize. But it is good to see why people view addiction as a diseaese and not a choice. And this only reinforces the view that addiction is choice rather than an illness or disease. It's a behavior, a disease like cancer is not. A behavior requires our conscious participation, a disease does not.
Accepting the truth that it is a choice means that you can choose another path. You can choose not to use -- which is exactly what I have done. I have exercised my freedom of choice and chose another path. My addiction was the direct result of my actions. Now, sobriety is!
Blessings,
FIH
# The illness can be described.
Yes, many things can be described. I can describe a beautiful sunset. Is that a disease? No. The mere fact that I can describe something does not make it a disease, it makes it capable of being described.
# The course of the illness is predictable and progressive
Really? So when people quit cold-turkey, is that predictable? Some use more, some use less, and some quit altogether. Not very predictable.
# The disease is primary – that is, it is not just a symptom of some other underlying disorder.
This is a circular argument. You are arguing that a disease is a disease because it is a disease. It is like trying to prove that the sky is blue by arguing that it is primarly blue.
# It is permanent.
Not true. Many people "kick the habit" and never return. But let's say that it was permanent. Would that prove it was a disease? Breathing is permanent (while you are alive). Is breathing a disease? No.
# It is terminal. If left untreated, it results in insanity or premature death.
This is not true of all addictive behaviors. Addiction to gambling, for example, is not terminal, does not result in instanity, and does not result in death. Now you could be arguing that alcohol addiction is terminal if left untreated. But even this is not true. Many "heavy drinkers" live a long life and die of something completely unrelated to their alcohol consumption. This was true of a relative of mine. He didn't go insane and did not die from alcoholism or drinking.
And even if alcohol was terminal, that does not make it a disease. It simply means that consuming alcohol is really, really bad for you. Drinking gasoline is terminal (with the first drink, I suppose). Is that an addicton? No, it's just really, really stupid.
Thank you again for welcoming me aboard. I hope my response was not overly harsh. If that is how you interpreted it, then I apologize. But it is good to see why people view addiction as a diseaese and not a choice. And this only reinforces the view that addiction is choice rather than an illness or disease. It's a behavior, a disease like cancer is not. A behavior requires our conscious participation, a disease does not.
Accepting the truth that it is a choice means that you can choose another path. You can choose not to use -- which is exactly what I have done. I have exercised my freedom of choice and chose another path. My addiction was the direct result of my actions. Now, sobriety is!
Blessings,
FIH
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,948
Absolutely true for me; When I put the responsibility on me getting better squarely on my shoulders, I am compelled to act or do noting. The latter would be one primary cause I stayed sick in active addiction. My unwillingness to change. Hence I was sick for a very long time.
Then there came a time when blame, or skillfully placing the responsibility on any contrived or even a plausible diversion that took the focus off of me, no longer worked to satisfy me. I had to awaken to the fact that I had a problem, a problem because of me, ultimately because of my actions. I could no longer interpret my actions in a way that, no matter how skillfully eloquent I could phrase this explanation, especially in ways that removed me from any fault, could take the full responsibility off of me. I need to cut through the crap and look squarely in the eyes of my family and tell them truth. I have to change for the better and I will.
I make no mistake about it. I have an illness that left untreated, as I have done in the addictiveness of my past, will mane or kill me. I also make no mistake that I am either the motivating force that brings my addiction into remission or the one that dosen't. Be it by lack of concern, apathy, ignorance, wanton negligence, or you name it. I cooked a lot of things in addiction, even my brain, but I did not destroy my awareness as to the primary cause of my troubles...me...me...me.
Thankfully I do not have to recover alone. In fact I tried that
with...utter failure. There are systems, courses of actions, addiction treatment plans, the assistance of others alone or in groups that can aid me in my quest to heal from addiction. But they cant do it for me. Nothing is going to fall out of the sky and land in my lap to take the burden off me. I'm the one that is willing to get better, use available resources, be committed to making progress and do this thing called recovery.
Originally Posted by freeinhim
Thanks for sharing your story. I think you are right on. The idea that addiction is a "willing" choice rather than a disease is a popular sentiment today. I think the reason why is because it is easier to believe that something (other than yourself) causes you to drink. Getting mad at a disease and not yourself is more palatable to most people.
Then there came a time when blame, or skillfully placing the responsibility on any contrived or even a plausible diversion that took the focus off of me, no longer worked to satisfy me. I had to awaken to the fact that I had a problem, a problem because of me, ultimately because of my actions. I could no longer interpret my actions in a way that, no matter how skillfully eloquent I could phrase this explanation, especially in ways that removed me from any fault, could take the full responsibility off of me. I need to cut through the crap and look squarely in the eyes of my family and tell them truth. I have to change for the better and I will.
I make no mistake about it. I have an illness that left untreated, as I have done in the addictiveness of my past, will mane or kill me. I also make no mistake that I am either the motivating force that brings my addiction into remission or the one that dosen't. Be it by lack of concern, apathy, ignorance, wanton negligence, or you name it. I cooked a lot of things in addiction, even my brain, but I did not destroy my awareness as to the primary cause of my troubles...me...me...me.
Thankfully I do not have to recover alone. In fact I tried that
with...utter failure. There are systems, courses of actions, addiction treatment plans, the assistance of others alone or in groups that can aid me in my quest to heal from addiction. But they cant do it for me. Nothing is going to fall out of the sky and land in my lap to take the burden off me. I'm the one that is willing to get better, use available resources, be committed to making progress and do this thing called recovery.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,948
If alcoholism is a disease or not dosen't matter much to me nowadays. Alcoholism is serious, it can disrupt the lives of those around the alcoholic as it effects the alcoholic likewise. Yet like similar diseases such as heart disease, diabetes and asthma one main factor in successful treatment involves radical lifestyles changes.
That is compliance to treatment is essential for a better prognosis. I see alcoholism in the same way. I will comply with treatment and improve my life or resist treatment and suffer the consequences. What will I choose? Well in the past I have chosen to do nothing about my alcoholism. Be it resistance to change, lack of knowing what it takes to change or a hidden unwillingness to change...I have been fortunate to see and examine all thees possibilities and more. At these times, insight, examination and knowing or not,
proves worthless compared to action
The good thing about action is its easy to discover the right course of action
That is compliance to treatment is essential for a better prognosis. I see alcoholism in the same way. I will comply with treatment and improve my life or resist treatment and suffer the consequences. What will I choose? Well in the past I have chosen to do nothing about my alcoholism. Be it resistance to change, lack of knowing what it takes to change or a hidden unwillingness to change...I have been fortunate to see and examine all thees possibilities and more. At these times, insight, examination and knowing or not,
proves worthless compared to action
The good thing about action is its easy to discover the right course of action
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 18
Well said. Yes, recovery is up to the individual. The greater the desire, the greater the chance of success. And yes, people, education, groups, treatments, can all be very helpful. But, as you said, ultimately the person with the addiction must waaaaaaant to change and work at that change.
Let's put the person back in the driver seat so he/she can take control of his/her addiction and life.
Thanks again ZenCat and many blessings! This board is helpful.
Let's put the person back in the driver seat so he/she can take control of his/her addiction and life.
Thanks again ZenCat and many blessings! This board is helpful.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by freeinhim 
... Addiction was my choice and I chose willingly to drink. I liked it so the choice was an easy one...but it was still a choice.
Those who stopped in time, can still choose not to drink one-day-at-a-time if they stay motivated. The others can not choose not to drink anymore than they can choose to not to obey the laws of gravity.
Be very careful about discounting the possibility that you are one of the second type. If you are wrong, it could prove deadly.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 18
Hi, thank you for your contribution.
Of course there is a big difference. Gravity acts equally on everyone. It is external to the person. Gravity existed prior to us and will continue on after we are gone. "Choice," however, is not external to the person. It is something that is done by the person. It is not forced on the person.
Telling people that they cannot choose "not" to drink is a deadly dellusion. It creates hopelessness and despair. It is has dire consequences.
Thanks.
The others can not choose not to drink anymore than they can choose to not to obey the laws of gravity.
Telling people that they cannot choose "not" to drink is a deadly dellusion. It creates hopelessness and despair. It is has dire consequences.
Thanks.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
let me just jump in here:
from our SR rules and policies
Lets all be mindful and respectful of others beliefs, thanks
D
from our SR rules and policies
Please respect the rights of others to hold beliefs and perspectives, which differ from yours. Our Sober Recovery Forum members are of many nationalities, ages, and cultures. Healthy, vigorous debate will further our goals, but only when guided by the tolerance that springs from mutual embrace of mission.
D
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
freeinhim.
On another thread you stated your sponsor is Jesus Christ.
Following that line of thinking...did God not send illness/diseases to some humans?
that is what I think about my alcoholism...and with daily connection to him and AA I've become a recovered alcoholic.....
Wishing you and everyone the joy of recovery...
On another thread you stated your sponsor is Jesus Christ.
Following that line of thinking...did God not send illness/diseases to some humans?
that is what I think about my alcoholism...and with daily connection to him and AA I've become a recovered alcoholic.....
Wishing you and everyone the joy of recovery...
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by freeinhim
Telling people that they cannot choose "not" to drink is a deadly dellusion. It creates hopelessness and despair. It is has dire consequences.
Originally Posted by susanlauren
KeithJ said something along the lines of give yourself the gift of finding out whether you are a real alcoholic and don't cheat yourself out of a real step one experience. So now that I've "had the gift" and "been blessed with the experience", I'm not sure if I should be mad as hell or filled with gratitude.(Mad at first, grateful now) The gift was fear, pain and desperation, which in turn led to "fully concede", "surrender" and "willing to do anything".
...Tonight I am filled to overflowing with gratitude.
Susan
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
