nomeansnow

I am only 20 years old and already have a DUI, three MIPs, have been in the hospitalized twice for drinking and detox twice. I think I might have a problem.

All my friends are partying tonight while I'm here at home. You see, I play music in a band and we played at a friend's graduation today and everyone is celebrating. I just don't know how to get away from this lifestyle. I really want stick with this band but all my friends use substances and I just don't think I can handle that lifestyle but at the same time it's loads of fun. What do I do?

CarolD

welcome ...

I agree your drinking is causeing you to have consequnces regardless of your age.

do you think you are an alcoholic?

nomeansnow

I don't know. Where do you draw the line?

sunrise1

I think you will find that line varies from person to person; there are quizzes online that can give you a pretty good idea of what direction you're pointed in.

Let me tell you- - I am a full time musician gigging 6 nights a week; sometimes it's hard (like when my partner is a butthead), and I've had to find creative ways to ditch shots or find "pinch drinkers"... but it IS possible for one to remain in this business sober. It takes vigilance, and for me, close ties to my AA home group and finding AA meetings while on the road.

Just know that if I can do it, so can you. I learned I could do it from another sober musician. There are more of us out there than you know.
Best, s

billsaintjames

It's definitely possible to be a sober musician. I think you'll be surprised at A) How many there are out there and B) How much people respect you for making that choice. I guarantee you that you'll hear "I wish I could quit" a trillion times.

That said, are you looking at the big picture with this band? I crossed paths with countless bands with people in their late teens/twentysomethings who thought they were big shots because they partied hard and simply by virtue of the fact that they were in a band.

Yea, it was fun to hang out with them while it lasted. But they're still doing the same BS, getting high and wasted all the time, whereas I and others decided to grow up and take care of ourselves.

It doesn't matter if you play in front of 10 or 10,000 people, putting crap into your body is going to make you feel like **** and can only cause you problems. Trust me, you can still have fun and play music without being ****ed up.

Latte

I am so glad you are here. Musicians have such a wonderful gift, being around to share it for years to come is something to mull over in your mind while you're making this decision.

The only one who can decide if you have a problem is you. There is a solution if you come to that conclusion.

I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you here on SR.

TheEnd

It's a tough road to be an alcoholic before you are legally allowed to drink. If I had to quit at that age, it would have been extremely difficult. Hell it's pretty hard at times now, but I know it's worth it and you have to know in your heart that you truly have problem.

If being in a band is a detriment to your life and health, then I suggest quit for a while, until you can handle it.

Taking5

Quit drinking. AA helps a lot of people. Im my case I needed AA and I had to change my playground (bars) and playmates (drinking buddies).

nomeansnow

Thanks everyone. I really have trouble making up my mind about a lot of things. I will probably be on here talking to you guys from time to time when things get rough. Maybe even just to celebrate sobriety. Who knows??

sable1

I agree that you will probably find that a lot of people respect you even more for being sober. I have noticed from people around me that they have a newfound respect for me for sticking with sobriety.
And as for the problems, they are more likely to get worse the more you drink, than to get better, but I think you allready know that=)
Welcome!

trent333

im in the same boat im also twenty and just got a dui for driving recklessly. Dont worry you will get over it quite soon

LexieCat

Um,

Get over what? The DUI? The DUI is a legal problem--yes, one "gets over" that once the fines are paid, the insurance rates go back down, you get your license back.

Alcoholism is, unfortunately, forever. It isn't a quick fix, or a short-term one. It takes a lot of work to recover from a fatal, progressive disease. It can be done, however, and the rewards are HUGE.

least

That lifestyle may be 'fun' but getting a DUI isn't fun at all, especially considering that there might have been injury or death from it.

I hope you can stop drinking, band member or not, and if you stop drinking you will never again get a DUI or hurt yourself or anyone else from drinking.

CarolD

trent33....
I sure hope your dangerous actions did not harm another ..or injure you.
This could be the beginning of a different life for you.

Welcome

refrigerator

I'm only 23, got away from my friends for a while so i could stop drinking. Now, we still hang out out several times a week and they even drink in front of me but I don't care. Just have to accept that you can't keep doing what you're doing, and you can still live a very similar life

MrDavid

On my worst days, when I could not manage my life in sobriety, I held on to anything that could weather the storm, I guess you can call it a flimsy reed.

That Flimsy reed as I know today was definitely the hand of God. You can hold onto something for dear life, or reach for a life preserver instead. AA has been my life preserver and can restore us to worthiness once again, despite our ages. I hope you find yours, for today.

~God bless~