4.5 years without a drink - am I 'safe'?
4.5 years without a drink - am I 'safe'?
I'm 4.5 years sober. I was in AA for 18 months but left when I had a baby and found it hard to attend.
I started therapy a year ago, for other mental health issues. I'm about as mentally well as I've ever been in my life.
Yesterday I ate a tirismisu, which had enough alcohol in that I could taste it. It was lovely, it always was my favouite pudding. I don't think the alcohol did anything to me, although I do still have occasional fleeting cravings.
Is it stupid? Is the slippery slope sometimes started with pudding?
I'm well out of the AA loop now, my sponsor and I parted on bad terms, so I don't have any real life support, apart from my therapist who I'll discuss this with.
I started therapy a year ago, for other mental health issues. I'm about as mentally well as I've ever been in my life.
Yesterday I ate a tirismisu, which had enough alcohol in that I could taste it. It was lovely, it always was my favouite pudding. I don't think the alcohol did anything to me, although I do still have occasional fleeting cravings.
Is it stupid? Is the slippery slope sometimes started with pudding?
I'm well out of the AA loop now, my sponsor and I parted on bad terms, so I don't have any real life support, apart from my therapist who I'll discuss this with.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 222
Slippery slope I say. I dont believe that the alcoholic is automatically engaged upon the first drink (as is so often claimed), but that a certain point of intoxication must be reached before it takes over. I can drink a beer or two without issue (atleast if doing it WITHOUT the intentions of getting drunk) because it doesnt make me FEEL anything.
Does that make it a good idea though?
Does that make it a good idea though?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
ODAAT,
I really doubt that a serving of pudding containing alcohol is going to cause you to relapse back into drinking. Did that serving of pudding cause you to crave more alcohol or did that serving of pudding cause you to eat serving after serving of pudding?
My guess is, "no".
That being said, I think it is a very good idea to avoid foods if you can taste alcohol in them. Alcohol does not necessarily cook off in the preparation process. I would rather be on the safe side, than on the sorry side.
Susan
I really doubt that a serving of pudding containing alcohol is going to cause you to relapse back into drinking. Did that serving of pudding cause you to crave more alcohol or did that serving of pudding cause you to eat serving after serving of pudding?
My guess is, "no".
That being said, I think it is a very good idea to avoid foods if you can taste alcohol in them. Alcohol does not necessarily cook off in the preparation process. I would rather be on the safe side, than on the sorry side.
Susan
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 86
I've been wondering this too. There is a chance that we might move in the next year and that new place won't have any of my old hang outs or liqour stops. I'm wondering if I don't drink for a year, will I be able to moderate "the next time."
This however reminds me of a story about a woman that was in AA for a number of years and then started her own group claiming that alcoholics that have been sober for a number of years can learn to moderate. She used hold meetings similar to AA and pushed the idea of moderation. However, one afternoon she got completely bombed, got in her car and started driving. She ended up on the wrong side of the highway and killed 2 or 3 people including a little girl. The story was on like 60 minutes or 20/20 or something like that a few years back. This story makes me think twice.
This however reminds me of a story about a woman that was in AA for a number of years and then started her own group claiming that alcoholics that have been sober for a number of years can learn to moderate. She used hold meetings similar to AA and pushed the idea of moderation. However, one afternoon she got completely bombed, got in her car and started driving. She ended up on the wrong side of the highway and killed 2 or 3 people including a little girl. The story was on like 60 minutes or 20/20 or something like that a few years back. This story makes me think twice.
This however reminds me of a story about a woman that was in AA for a number of years and then started her own group claiming that alcoholics that have been sober for a number of years can learn to moderate. She used hold meetings similar to AA and pushed the idea of moderation. However, one afternoon she got completely bombed, got in her car and started driving. She ended up on the wrong side of the highway and killed 2 or 3 people including a little girl. The story was on like 60 minutes or 20/20 or something like that a few years back. This story makes me think twice.
Personally I went through many periods of being dry sometimes for a year or more. Then I would start off with one or two drinks and maybe be able to do that for a period of weeks or months but eventually I would always wind up back at that place of my drinking being out of control and my life becoming unmanageable.
My experience is that I am an alcoholic and always will be. For me that means no matter how long I am dry from a drink (or sober) I can never go back to drinking "normally". I love the analogy of a pickle. Once you pickle a cucumber it can never go back to being a cucumber again no matter how hard one tries. Out of all the times I spent dry the only way I have had any success (10 years of sobriety) is through sticking to the AA program. Others have had success with other programs but AA is the one that has worked for me.
I also know that I have to avoid alcohol in any form as I do not want to risk it being in my system and have my body start the cravings and obsessions once again.
Your experience may be different as you may not be a "real" alcoholic. I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 178
I'm 4.5 years sober. I was in AA for 18 months but left when I had a baby and found it hard to attend.
I started therapy a year ago, for other mental health issues. I'm about as mentally well as I've ever been in my life.
Yesterday I ate a tirismisu, which had enough alcohol in that I could taste it. It was lovely, it always was my favouite pudding. I don't think the alcohol did anything to me, although I do still have occasional fleeting cravings.
Is it stupid? Is the slippery slope sometimes started with pudding?
I'm well out of the AA loop now, my sponsor and I parted on bad terms, so I don't have any real life support, apart from my therapist who I'll discuss this with.
I started therapy a year ago, for other mental health issues. I'm about as mentally well as I've ever been in my life.
Yesterday I ate a tirismisu, which had enough alcohol in that I could taste it. It was lovely, it always was my favouite pudding. I don't think the alcohol did anything to me, although I do still have occasional fleeting cravings.
Is it stupid? Is the slippery slope sometimes started with pudding?
I'm well out of the AA loop now, my sponsor and I parted on bad terms, so I don't have any real life support, apart from my therapist who I'll discuss this with.
There is the mental aspect, which is what you are feeling now, as well as the chemical one, where heavy amounts of alcohol flooded into your body. You are fine both ways IMHO.
IIRC, cooked alcohol has less, if not any alcohol in it. Then again, Tiramisu is not the typical 'cooking' of alcohol.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I well remember you and how hard it was for you to quit drinking
Welcome back....
I don't eat foods prepared with alcohol...I'm a non eater as well as a non drinker..
If I ordered one of my favorites...Steak Diane ..I would re set my DOS
Nothing to do with safety ..for me that would be the honest thing to do...plus the stench of alcohol is unappetizing.
Blessings to you and your family
Welcome back....
I don't eat foods prepared with alcohol...I'm a non eater as well as a non drinker..
If I ordered one of my favorites...Steak Diane ..I would re set my DOS
Nothing to do with safety ..for me that would be the honest thing to do...plus the stench of alcohol is unappetizing.
Blessings to you and your family
Alcohol actually doesn't cook off 100% unless that food has been cooked for quite awhile.
My understanding is that with the consumption of alcohol you're waking up a bunch of synapses and responses in your brain that are receptive to the alcohol. Why play with fire?
My understanding is that with the consumption of alcohol you're waking up a bunch of synapses and responses in your brain that are receptive to the alcohol. Why play with fire?
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 270
My experience is that people do what they want to do. You've had a small amount of alcohol without any apparent ill effects. So, you know that a bit of booze won't hurt you, that is now your experience.
You've no need to avoid booze foods, and it opens up a world of delights for you to enjoy. And if someone has a new and interesting liquor you've never tried, a sip couldn't possibly hurt, because you did fine with the tirismisu and know that at worst it caused you some 'fleeting cravings', and that's no big deal for a person with 4 1/2 years.
If the small amounts of alcohol are spaced out, and you eat a little something between sips to educate your palate you could now do a little wine tasting knowing things will be fine, maybe just resulting in some fleeting cravings.
And besides, no one ever gets drunk again after 4 years, even those who are still counting their time by half years.
Sure, things are great. Except that you've lost your understanding of what it means to be alcoholic. And that you believe after a small amount of time has passed that it's ok to on occasion go into the cage and start teasing the tiger, knowing that the tiger is just a big and friendly kitty who will never,ever hurt you, like it did the last time it hurt you.
Or, this whole pulling back from a solution that worked for you and beginning playing with booze foods deal could be your version of alcoholic insanity. If I were to bet, I'd bet on that.
How smart would you consider a junkie who finally kicks for a little while who then started taking the tiniest taste, just cause she likes the wonderful flavor of good junk?
Just how I see it since you asked, and it means nothing really. You'll wind up doing what you want to do.
Now I get to ask a question. How do you think it goes for alcoholics off on their own who don't mind ingesting a little booze once in a while?
You've no need to avoid booze foods, and it opens up a world of delights for you to enjoy. And if someone has a new and interesting liquor you've never tried, a sip couldn't possibly hurt, because you did fine with the tirismisu and know that at worst it caused you some 'fleeting cravings', and that's no big deal for a person with 4 1/2 years.
If the small amounts of alcohol are spaced out, and you eat a little something between sips to educate your palate you could now do a little wine tasting knowing things will be fine, maybe just resulting in some fleeting cravings.
And besides, no one ever gets drunk again after 4 years, even those who are still counting their time by half years.
Sure, things are great. Except that you've lost your understanding of what it means to be alcoholic. And that you believe after a small amount of time has passed that it's ok to on occasion go into the cage and start teasing the tiger, knowing that the tiger is just a big and friendly kitty who will never,ever hurt you, like it did the last time it hurt you.
Or, this whole pulling back from a solution that worked for you and beginning playing with booze foods deal could be your version of alcoholic insanity. If I were to bet, I'd bet on that.
How smart would you consider a junkie who finally kicks for a little while who then started taking the tiniest taste, just cause she likes the wonderful flavor of good junk?
Just how I see it since you asked, and it means nothing really. You'll wind up doing what you want to do.
Now I get to ask a question. How do you think it goes for alcoholics off on their own who don't mind ingesting a little booze once in a while?
Complacency got me in 2006 after over 6 years sober. Now, gratefully, am sober once more after over 4 years of hardcore drinking. Never say never, but I know now I can never let my guard down in regards to alcohol again if I want to live.
I sometimes call myself a "Recovered Alcoholic". However, it depends on the crowd I am with. If there are newcomers around, I quickly point out that I can be "recovered" from a gunshot wound but that does not make me bullet-proof.
I don't think it is alarming that you had some small amount of alcohol. I do find it alarming that you think 4.5 years makes it somehow more safe than say... 4.5 weeks.
I continued to use Listerine mouthwash for the first 2 years of my sobriety because the alcohol content was so small, it was a minor risk, in my opinion. After I picked up my 2 year coin, I started asking myself - "do I really want to risk playing with fire?" I now make an extra effort to seek out "alcohol free" mouthwash, simply because it is a small price to pay for a large amount of insurance.
I don't think it is alarming that you had some small amount of alcohol. I do find it alarming that you think 4.5 years makes it somehow more safe than say... 4.5 weeks.
I continued to use Listerine mouthwash for the first 2 years of my sobriety because the alcohol content was so small, it was a minor risk, in my opinion. After I picked up my 2 year coin, I started asking myself - "do I really want to risk playing with fire?" I now make an extra effort to seek out "alcohol free" mouthwash, simply because it is a small price to pay for a large amount of insurance.
I've had some food with alcohol since quitting and when I first quit I tried NA wine and beer. None of them triggered me and itself now been about 6 months since I had any of the above.
I don't think anyone is unequivocally safe but I Think it would be a lot harder to relapse for You than someone at one month )
Congrats on 4.5 years!
I don't think anyone is unequivocally safe but I Think it would be a lot harder to relapse for You than someone at one month )
Congrats on 4.5 years!
Yesterday I ate a tirismisu, which had enough alcohol in that I could taste it. It was lovely, it always was my favouite pudding. I don't think the alcohol did anything to me, although I do still have occasional fleeting cravings.
Is it stupid? Is the slippery slope sometimes started with pudding?
Is it stupid? Is the slippery slope sometimes started with pudding?
We all got together for a BBQ last friday and it was my and my bf's responsibility to bring/make the dessert. I thought a nice fresh fruit salad would be nice with some whipping cream (I like it when you whip it yourself, not the canned stuff).
So when we were making the whipping cream I (foolishly and unthinkingly) suggested adding a teaspoon of vanilla... all 3 of them immediately grabbed the bottle to see if there was alcohol in it... of course there was, I don't know if you can get alcohol-free vanilla... so we didn't use it.
So can it start with pudding? Yes. Will it? Probably not.
So when we were making the whipping cream I (foolishly and unthinkingly) suggested adding a teaspoon of vanilla... all 3 of them immediately grabbed the bottle to see if there was alcohol in it... of course there was, I don't know if you can get alcohol-free vanilla... so we didn't use it.
I second what others have said...you're probably ok after this incident but I wouldn't chance it...
Also, if AA helped you before maybe since these questions are surfacing, you may want to seek them out again but perhaps try a different meeting.
You've also brought up something I hadn't even thought about because tiramisu is my fave dessert
I usually can't taste the alcohol in tiramisu so I must not have a very sophisticated palate. I do remember, however, having a flan at a local Mexican restaurant when I was pregnant that gave me a buzz. I spoke to the waiter and he said they add "a tiny bit of rum" to their flan...I didn't take another bite and have never gone back even during my drinking years because that is just plain wrong. I would be livid if that happened to me today.
Also, if AA helped you before maybe since these questions are surfacing, you may want to seek them out again but perhaps try a different meeting.
You've also brought up something I hadn't even thought about because tiramisu is my fave dessert
I usually can't taste the alcohol in tiramisu so I must not have a very sophisticated palate. I do remember, however, having a flan at a local Mexican restaurant when I was pregnant that gave me a buzz. I spoke to the waiter and he said they add "a tiny bit of rum" to their flan...I didn't take another bite and have never gone back even during my drinking years because that is just plain wrong. I would be livid if that happened to me today.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
You asking this is more of a concern than eating a cake...it would be prudent to get a support network in place asap of your choosing...i've only been around for a couple of years but have seen guys drink after 5 and 10 years...the latter was the head counselor at the rehab i attended, not trying to worry you at all but get something in place:-)
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