Relapse
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 80
Relapse
It had been over two years since my last drink and I let it all slip away in the past month. Unfortunately, even while I wasn't drinking, I was abusing medications and now I realize that I had only traded one addiction for another. I'm not sure where to turn now, I'm too ashamed to tell my family...God help me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: NYC/NJ
Posts: 431
Hey it'll be okay, we've all slipped up many times. But it's important that you learn from this and do the right thing from here on out. I'd recommend being totally honest with those close to you and reaching out for professional help. It's crucial that you take a really honest look at what happened here, and I'm not just referring to the past month of drinking.
--Were you ever really working recovery and in a life of sobriety? **If the answer is yes, what happened between then and when you slipped up and started abusing meds? if you were truly working recovery, you HAD to have known what you were doing. why did you think that was okay at the time?
It'd be a huge mistake to only focus on this latest drinking episode, because clearly something slipped up big time a while ago and that's where you need to look.
--Were you ever really working recovery and in a life of sobriety? **If the answer is yes, what happened between then and when you slipped up and started abusing meds? if you were truly working recovery, you HAD to have known what you were doing. why did you think that was okay at the time?
It'd be a huge mistake to only focus on this latest drinking episode, because clearly something slipped up big time a while ago and that's where you need to look.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 80
No, I really don't think I ever was well. I have struggled with an anxiety disorder and I think I just muddled through until I started taking the medication. Then that became my crutch instead. So when I took that crutch away, well, that opened the door for alcohol to come back in since I hadn't done any real work yet.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome back...
Seeing your doctor is always a wise move...expecially when you are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
De toxing from either alcohol or benzos can be dangerous...much more so if you are doing both.
Please be safe....seek professional assistance.
Seeing your doctor is always a wise move...expecially when you are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
De toxing from either alcohol or benzos can be dangerous...much more so if you are doing both.
Please be safe....seek professional assistance.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Re:Relapse
Welcome back Enough...It's good to hear you're alive and well.
I experienced similar feelings ten years ago after my relapse and the guilt and shame even back then bore a heavy burden on my sobriety. I never realized how harmful those feelings were until I uncovered them under a sea of alcohol. The reasons why I chose to self medicate varied but the promise of a better life was always an option, regardless of how shameful I became.
I not only had to work on sobering up but I also had to improve my self confidence as well. I had to address all those other issues, besides the alcohol related ones, and that formula for success started the day I was introduced to my “self help counselor”. They not only provided me with some material on improving my self confidence but also gave me some much need advice on depression and anxiety disorders as well. These people were committed and helped nurture my desire to improve my way of life just like those in my sober network. I finally realized that the path to freedom encompasses more than just the confines of AA, it can also include other counseling services as well. I have managed more time in sobriety than ever before and I have many different yet influential people who deserves most of the credit. They have molded me into the person I am today and my life has taken on new meaning as a result.
Making informed decisions about what we should do next, especially when confronted with a similar dilemma is important and there are a wide variety of services available, that can help us make those important decisions the next time around. Some of those were previously mentioned; including counseling and other added services, besides AA and this forum. We hope they will encourage you just as much as they did others who have relied on their services over the years, just like I did. We are a network of recovering alcoholics who are committed to improve your way of life, and will do so by any means possible. Developing a routine that improves your spiritual conditioning and overall well being one, day at a time, is important; so lets help you do just that. It has worked for me and I hope it will continue to work for you as well -one day at a time.
~God bless~
I experienced similar feelings ten years ago after my relapse and the guilt and shame even back then bore a heavy burden on my sobriety. I never realized how harmful those feelings were until I uncovered them under a sea of alcohol. The reasons why I chose to self medicate varied but the promise of a better life was always an option, regardless of how shameful I became.
I not only had to work on sobering up but I also had to improve my self confidence as well. I had to address all those other issues, besides the alcohol related ones, and that formula for success started the day I was introduced to my “self help counselor”. They not only provided me with some material on improving my self confidence but also gave me some much need advice on depression and anxiety disorders as well. These people were committed and helped nurture my desire to improve my way of life just like those in my sober network. I finally realized that the path to freedom encompasses more than just the confines of AA, it can also include other counseling services as well. I have managed more time in sobriety than ever before and I have many different yet influential people who deserves most of the credit. They have molded me into the person I am today and my life has taken on new meaning as a result.
Making informed decisions about what we should do next, especially when confronted with a similar dilemma is important and there are a wide variety of services available, that can help us make those important decisions the next time around. Some of those were previously mentioned; including counseling and other added services, besides AA and this forum. We hope they will encourage you just as much as they did others who have relied on their services over the years, just like I did. We are a network of recovering alcoholics who are committed to improve your way of life, and will do so by any means possible. Developing a routine that improves your spiritual conditioning and overall well being one, day at a time, is important; so lets help you do just that. It has worked for me and I hope it will continue to work for you as well -one day at a time.
~God bless~
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 80
Thank you all so much for your words. I have decided to try AA. I have used the psychologist route and while the advice was great, I don't know if I'm in the right state to use those tools yet. I have to rebuild from the ground up and I think that the steps may be a very real way to do that. Can anyone prep me for what a first meeting might be like?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I found this info on first meetings.
Your First AA Meeting. Understandably, You Want to Know What to Expect.
Your First AA Meeting. Understandably, You Want to Know What to Expect.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
When I was in AA they gave out the BB for free. It's always scary to go anywhere for the first time, but it's not the same as going out and meeting strangers. It's a place where you can go and say "I feel like s***" and everyone around you says "yeah, I know what you mean." It's pretty cool.
Be proud that you're working on your recovery - it always pays off!!!!:ghug3
Be proud that you're working on your recovery - it always pays off!!!!:ghug3
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