wellwisher

Actually, Noble, no apology needed for the seriousness in your thread. This is a serious disease and those who suffer it often experience serious consequences. We are not alcoholics that live in a vaccuum; our disease impacts our lives in a profound way; it affects family, friends, employers and society as a whole. Hell, sometimes I go into the Family and Friends forum and come out of there just a-blazing with shame. I almost feel like going in and apologizing for every alcoholic who has ever caused anyone pain.

I believe this is the reason program tells us to live in the day, and to take one day at a time. It helps the recovery process. As you get deeper into a rock-solid sobriety, I firmly believe your chance to deal with the issue of your past will come to you. It will come in the form of service, most likely. No, you can't change it, but if you use it for the better good, you will reconcile with it, and someone will benefit from it, as well. There are many, many ways to be of service, and you will know it when the time is right.

In the meantime, hang on to that hope. Buy that couch. Get outside. Mingle. Work the program. Rub elbows with people in the meeting rooms.

And I love that you've planted a garden and named it! I bought an azalea bush today, and am planting it tomorrow. I think I will name it
(((NobleCause!)))

Thanks for sharing! It is part of your path to recovery. On the flip side, your posts alone may be the exact words someone may need to hear to begin on their path to recovery, and you may never even learn of it.

Best of luck, and keep posting!