I think i might have a problem...please help
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
Originally Posted by Alexa345 
One question- I am sure that a lot of people can probably relate to this- the biggest obstacle I see to quitting drinking for me is going to events, holiday parties, tailgating, things like that, where everyone is drinking and it's almost part of the fun for me. Does that feeling go away? Do you eventually just learn to have as much fun without drinking? Or is the feeling and wanting always there and you just keep reminding yourself of the reason that you quit. I feel really sad when I think about givin up drinking at those kinds of experiences. But at the same time, I feel sad that the idea of not drinking makes me so sad. .
Another thing you might realize when you go to events is that not everybody is wasted.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: KS
Posts: 717
Originally Posted by Alexa345
... the biggest obstacle I see to quitting drinking for me is going to events, holiday parties, tailgating, things like that, where everyone is drinking and it's almost part of the fun for me. Does that feeling go away? Do you eventually just learn to have as much fun without drinking? Or is the feeling and wanting always there and you just keep reminding yourself of the reason that you quit. I feel really sad when I think about givin up drinking at those kinds of experiences. But at the same time, I feel sad that the idea of not drinking makes me so sad.
Does that feeling go away....YES!! Not only does it go away, but IMHO making it go away is wholly necessary to achieving a long, happy life of sobriety.
One cannot spend month-after-month, much less year-after-year lamenting one’s inability to drink. Instead, a more fulfilling, more meaningful life must be created. The cessation of drinking is a necessary first step, but for most of us it is only that…a first step.
As you continue to work through recovery, you will discover a peace, depth and richness to life that are inaccessible to the active addict. Ever mindful of alcohol’s destructive role in your prior life and of alcoholism’s permanence, your new self will view alcohol in a fundamentally different way. You’ll not only understand but also embrace the fact that all the “fun” you thought you were having as a drunk was worse than meaningless, it was disallowing you from experiencing and enjoying what life is truly all about.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Alexa - yes, it does go away. In fact, for me, it becomes stronger the more and more I hang out with people that drink..but I'll be honest, it's the wasted people that you really notice. They are loud, belligerent, obnoxious, silly, reactive and impulsive. They have bad manners, they miss subtleties in conversations so you end up having to repeat yourself, they talk nonsense, they do stupid things like flash their underwear and don't understand why you don't fall over laughing. You'll begin to notice it and it will IRRITATE the heck out of you. That's what I've found, anyhow. I normally enjoy my evenings out with friends until that they get to that point, then I know it's time to go home before I feel so irritated that I show it or say it.
I used to be that drunk person described above.
Now I see it, I really, truly, honestly don't want to be that person ever again.
I hope this helps..!
I used to be that drunk person described above.
Now I see it, I really, truly, honestly don't want to be that person ever again.
I hope this helps..!
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Socializing was definitely one of my greater hold ups. But in sobriety I've found that people really don't drink that much. It actually fuels my embarrassment because it must have been SO OBVIOUS that I'm an alcoholic to anyone with half a brain.
But really, people don't drink that much. I was wrong. It's not awkward. I'll have a coke or whatever and the person I'm with will have a drink. Maybe even a couple. But then they stop.
Of course not everyone has friends like that. I guess if you really do hang out with a lot of alcoholics (totally possible!) then you'll gradually just lose interest in them.
But really, people don't drink that much. I was wrong. It's not awkward. I'll have a coke or whatever and the person I'm with will have a drink. Maybe even a couple. But then they stop.
Of course not everyone has friends like that. I guess if you really do hang out with a lot of alcoholics (totally possible!) then you'll gradually just lose interest in them.
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