please grant me the serenity
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 61
please grant me the serenity
here go again. It's been 8 or 9 months since I drank. Most of the year I don't drink. It always happens, something happens and I get a load of stress and I get a 1000 bricks on my chest.
Today, I know exactly when I was hit, I said something then it happened.
I ****** serious, my chest hurts. Then for about a month or 2 I start drinking right after work and from the time I get up on weekends until the time I go to be. And my life becomes unmanageable. Heck I even move out of my home. Then a between $1000 and $2000 later something happens and all of a sudden I my life is back in control.
btw, going to the gym and running does not help. Drinking until I can't walk for a month seems to be what helps. I drink so much that I don't the ability to be stressed.
I know they say problems don't go away just because you drink. But that does not apply to %100 of the people. Because I know exactly what I am stressed about and please believe me when I say it's stuff that is nothing. I mean nothing.
Seriously, the trigger this time is that I said something that might or might not be true. That's all.
When I take that first drink the bricks are lifted and they do not comeback because I don't stop drinking. Then one day all of a sudan and just like that I have control over my life again.
Today, I know exactly when I was hit, I said something then it happened.
I ****** serious, my chest hurts. Then for about a month or 2 I start drinking right after work and from the time I get up on weekends until the time I go to be. And my life becomes unmanageable. Heck I even move out of my home. Then a between $1000 and $2000 later something happens and all of a sudden I my life is back in control.
btw, going to the gym and running does not help. Drinking until I can't walk for a month seems to be what helps. I drink so much that I don't the ability to be stressed.
I know they say problems don't go away just because you drink. But that does not apply to %100 of the people. Because I know exactly what I am stressed about and please believe me when I say it's stuff that is nothing. I mean nothing.
Seriously, the trigger this time is that I said something that might or might not be true. That's all.
When I take that first drink the bricks are lifted and they do not comeback because I don't stop drinking. Then one day all of a sudan and just like that I have control over my life again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
What other things help with stress? There have to be better ways than drinking. Therapy/counseling, Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction classes, being in nature, etc.? (that is what helps me)
As hard as the stress is, it will lessen with time (even without alcohol involved).
There's a good book- "When Panic Attacks"
I hope you feel better soon.
As hard as the stress is, it will lessen with time (even without alcohol involved).
There's a good book- "When Panic Attacks"
I hope you feel better soon.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Drinking until I can't walk for a month seems to be what helps. I drink so much that I don't the ability to be stressed.
It happened to me.
I used to say stress was my problem but it was really just a handy hook to hang my alcoholism on - I really didn't need a reason.
If you're convinced stress is your problem though, see your Dr - see a psychologist.
Do anything and everything but drinking on it.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 61
There's really nothing to clean up after the binge I don't do really anything wrong. I just get really really drunk to the point where I can not walk. So I don't get in to too much trouble. When I'm done the bricks off of my chest are lifted for the next few months. Like I said before my stress is not real.
Today I feel good. I didn't drink and there is no doubt in my mind that I am learning to deal with stress. It's been almost 7 months since I drank and that is the 2nd longest I went without a drink.
I did some stress management stuff and I do feel a lot better, but I hope it does not come back.
As far as other things go, I was thinking of yoga or acupuncture. I don't know but I am going to keep looking for other ways to keep the bricks off my chest
Today I feel good. I didn't drink and there is no doubt in my mind that I am learning to deal with stress. It's been almost 7 months since I drank and that is the 2nd longest I went without a drink.
I did some stress management stuff and I do feel a lot better, but I hope it does not come back.
As far as other things go, I was thinking of yoga or acupuncture. I don't know but I am going to keep looking for other ways to keep the bricks off my chest
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
Congrats on almost 7 months without drinking. That is a huge accomplishment.
I can identify with not having much to clean up after a binge. I tend not to cause too much wreckage. Yet- I also know that could change and accidents happen more easily when drunk. (It also takes a toll on my body. I just don't feel well when drinking a lot.) But I understand that not having wreckage, in some ways, makes rationalizing the next binge easier (although I think the shame, guilt, etc from wreckage could also be used to rationalize drinking).
Yoga and acupuncture are great stress relievers. I stick with yoga because I am crazy-afraid of needles. But I have tried it and it was helpful. I have a friend who enters into bliss during acupuncture. Well worth trying.
I really hope you feel better soon.
I can identify with not having much to clean up after a binge. I tend not to cause too much wreckage. Yet- I also know that could change and accidents happen more easily when drunk. (It also takes a toll on my body. I just don't feel well when drinking a lot.) But I understand that not having wreckage, in some ways, makes rationalizing the next binge easier (although I think the shame, guilt, etc from wreckage could also be used to rationalize drinking).
Yoga and acupuncture are great stress relievers. I stick with yoga because I am crazy-afraid of needles. But I have tried it and it was helpful. I have a friend who enters into bliss during acupuncture. Well worth trying.
I really hope you feel better soon.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
"There's really nothing to clean up after the binge I don't do really anything wrong. I just get really really drunk to the point where I can not walk."
I didn't think there was any other way to drink! I gotta tell you..Even if you grab your drink of choice and drink at home bad things can happen. I bounced off the walls on the way to my bedroom...hit the bed at an angle and landed hard. I hit my head on an end table and passed out. I had quite a bruise right by my temple..I think if you hit your temple in just the right place you can be instantly dead. I have also damn near cut the tip of my finger off. That was after deciding to make a 6 course meal at 2AM. It was one of those nights where they close the bar..kick everyone out..and I was going to do breakfast for everyone. The cut was substantial..they wanted to take me to the ER but I knew as drunk as I was they would end up tossing me in the drunk tank. I don't even know what the drunk tank is but I didn't want to go there. I still have the scar from that. Won't go into all the other horror stories..but besides the physical injuries..you have to think of your liver. Glad you are on a sober run but I really hope you find other coping skills..we can use any internal dialogue we want to justify drinking - I hope you find a new script!
I didn't think there was any other way to drink! I gotta tell you..Even if you grab your drink of choice and drink at home bad things can happen. I bounced off the walls on the way to my bedroom...hit the bed at an angle and landed hard. I hit my head on an end table and passed out. I had quite a bruise right by my temple..I think if you hit your temple in just the right place you can be instantly dead. I have also damn near cut the tip of my finger off. That was after deciding to make a 6 course meal at 2AM. It was one of those nights where they close the bar..kick everyone out..and I was going to do breakfast for everyone. The cut was substantial..they wanted to take me to the ER but I knew as drunk as I was they would end up tossing me in the drunk tank. I don't even know what the drunk tank is but I didn't want to go there. I still have the scar from that. Won't go into all the other horror stories..but besides the physical injuries..you have to think of your liver. Glad you are on a sober run but I really hope you find other coping skills..we can use any internal dialogue we want to justify drinking - I hope you find a new script!
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