flavinho

I had a whole week of massive binge drinking, I feel so depressed and lost right now. I slept one night in an empty and dirt house like a homeless, I never did it before. It all started after the first drink, I thought I could moderate it, but I was very equivocate. My parents are crying right now, I feel so ashamed. I was doing quite well, almost 90 days of sobriety and joyful days and then these disgraced events happened again. Afraid to even leave home now. Just wanted to share these unpleasant words with everybody.

Dee74

I'm sorry you had to go through that flavinho.
Will you be adding something to your recovery programme now?

D

CarolD

What are you now planning to do to get back on track?
Yes you are correct....it was always the 1st drink
that slid me backwards.

flavinho

[QUOTE=Dee74;2954525]I'm sorry you had to go through that flavinho.
Will you be adding something to your recovery programme now?

D[/QUOTE

Will take some lorazepan pills now, try to be busy with work and books , as I did previously and far from alcohol and parties.

Sudz No More

Sorry to hear flavinho but don't let it discourage you. We have all fallen off the wagon a few times. Climb back in more carefully this time and remember how hard the ground felt when you hit it.

indakut

[/QUOTE

try to be busy with work and books , as I did previously and far from alcohol and parties.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like a good plan. At least you realize you made a mistake. Some people wouldnt recognize your events as a set back. Your 90 days sober helped you realize that. With that said, time to get back on the wagon and roll You can do it

nickoftime

I am back after failing, as well.

slugger9787

Take an honest step one

keithj

Sounds like the exact same plan as last time, which led to a relapse after 90 days. Expect similar results from doing similar things.

Kjell

Hi Flavinho-

I simply had to change who I was or the same me would drink again and again and again.

Maybe this is true with you too?

Maybe it's time to let go of some old ideas?

Kjell~

sanjug

nice man happy to listen from you about 90 days.

CarolD

sanjug.....Welcome ...good to know you are sober

CincyShine

((HUGS)) to you.

Peta

Hey

I had lots of failures to before I finally got it

Go to some AA meetings - you'll hear stories from old timers who have been sober for 20 years plus and for many of them it took them a couple of false starts to get it right

I've been where you are now and when I was there last a wise person told me

No drink is wasted if it helps you realise you're powereless over alcohol

Squizz

I don't see how you "failed". True failure would to have been never attempting sobriety in the first place! Guess what? Not many people get it on their first try! Now, I know you must feel down, but get your butt to a meeting, and get back on the right track before it gets even WORSE.

loro

Well, this post helped me! I'm 47 days in and although I'm well aware that I'm an alcoholic, I still sometimes experience that fleeting, "but what IF I just had ONE drink?" Hearing what that first drink often turns into keeps me grounded. Thank you for sharing, and welcome back to the wonderful world of sobriety!

endlesspatience

Thanks for your honest post. You know, 90 days sober was a great achievement. When you go back to your programme, you'll quickly realise that a lot of what you learned and experienced in that period is still of great value.

I am currently in the process of doing 90 meetings in 90 days, so I have a certain amount of anxiety about what happens after that. My current "extra" thing is to try to get a phone number or a conversation with one person from each meeting I attend.

If I finish this run of meetings with the numbers of 20 other men who are in recovery and working the programme, it should give me a support network that I can go on using for many years.

Also, I am encouraging other people I meet in AA. If I open up honestly to them it helps them. And I am learning to listen. Last night I didn't say anything at the meeting but simply listened to everyone and made a mental note every time I heard words I could relate to.

MrDavid

Don't give up on yourself -not just yet, because almighty God will have the last word -as he always does - just when we least expect it. What your going through can be reversed, only when the psychic change -that's necessary- does occur. You need to Remind yourself that there are people out there who have similar backgrounds and choose to self medicate at one time -by drinking, like you did- but now rely on support networks -like AA and this forum "Sober Recovery"- to help guard against the next drink -one day at a time. Remind yourself of how precious life really is, and to never take our next breath for granted.

This principle, that AA teaches, helped ease my pain over the years and might ease yours as well, so here goes: "The pains of drinking had to come before sobriety and emotional turmoil before serenity" -how true. Allow yourself the opportunity to talk with a certified professional or addiction counselor about your choices, in hopes of recovering from the pains of drinking -one day at a time. AA and this forum can help guide you through the process of recovery and become the support network that recovering alcoholics -like yourself- need, to achieve lasting sobriety. You can start your journey towards purposeful living and with the help of your higher power and the voice of AA; achieve lasting "sober" memories -one day at a time.

~God bless~

cabledude

Welcome back Flavinho. Spending some time talking with people who do know how to stay sober might be wise.

Zencat

What has been helping me lately is having a treatment plan between me and the possibility of drinking.