lillyknitting

Why does my mind constantly tell me that I desire a drink that will poison me, wreck my life and make me ill, even though in every respect I love my sobriety, I still have these thoughts that a drinking situation will be lovely???!!!:

Taking5

I still have them too. If you could create a pill or a shot that would remove these dangerous, irrational thoughts from the brains of alcoholics and/or addicts, you'd be a shoo-in for the next Nobel prize for medicine.

Dee74

It's part of the addiction I think lilly...I found it useful to think that my thoughts were thoughts...I didn't have to act on them...

and if they got too commanding or obsessive, I made sure I had a support network and a 'sober toolbox' to work from.

What is your support network like?
D

OklaBH

without one on one, face to face help I couldnt deal with those thoughts. trust me I still have them "you can have just one"
try moderating" "its so nice outside..enjoy a drink"

Im slowly getting the tools to get through.

doggonecarl

Your mind has been rewired to "need" alcohol. And the part of the brain that ensures you get what you need to survive is doing everything it can to get alcohol.

I read in a post yesterday that said, and I am paraphrasing: alcoholism is the only disease where one of the symptoms is it tries to make you believe you don't have a disease.

Hang tough. Like Dee said, they are just thoughts.

keithj

Well it's not a pill, but a spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps does exactly this. The 10th Step promises have been a reality in my life for a long time.

I like that description, doggoncarl. So what does it take to unwire that 'need'? I've seen guys walk out of a 5year prison sentence every bit as alcoholic as the day they walked in, so obviously more than just time without a drink is needed.

doggonecarl

I don't know, Keith, for sure, but I think the answer is found in recovery as opposed to mere abstinence. What form that recovery takes is an individual one.

Maybe we have to live with this need and deal with it for the rest of our lives and recovery teaches us to live with this brain flaw.

I know the obsession lessens, which should encourage Lily with her current struggle. But I think the real danger is down the road. Will I, at some point, consider myself "fixed" of my drinking problem?

lillyknitting

thanks everyone for your help and support. I am doing practical things like: staying away from the drinking situations, not meeting up with drinking pals coz I know its gonna end up being a p***s up, I know if I go to the pub I'm gonna drink, its as simple as that. A lot of it is habit, born after many many years of drinking and socialising. Its a lot easier nowadays, at one point in my drinking I would be on it at least three times a week, then coming home, put my daughter to bed then drink a bottle of vodka on my own. It was living hell. I don't know how I didn't kill myself. A lot of people can drink safely, some of my friends I would call alcoholic BUT their lives don't end up in disaster like mine does when I drink.....thanks everyone x

CarolD

When I began AA....I found many people who shared my
new goal of living sober. Yes...we did socialize outside of
meetings and we understood how difficult early sobriety is...

artsoul

hi lilly - I can relate...... but at least we now know that those thoughts are insane, right?! It's definitely gotten better over time, but I still have days when I want to change my mood. After all, it's what I always did......

I was thinking the other day that I wish I could have looked into my brain before I quit and see just how many thoughts I had every day that were about alcohol. I bet it was a huge number.......

Don't forget we need to be patient with ourselves..... we're getting a little better each day!!:ghug3