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Old 04-19-2011, 06:56 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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It has been awhile since you posted DrunkAllNight..I am hoping you didn't go get another bottle..you see..it will just make you sicker than a dog tomorrow. And I am off work now too..I thought maybe we could talk about this for awhile. I want you to remember anything that you did when you quit that worked for you so you can do it again. But I guess we can talk about it later. I hope all is ok..
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Old 04-19-2011, 08:44 PM
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Something important to keep in mind is that for reasons medical experts can't quite explain, alcoholism continues to progress even when we stop drinking.

That means that your tolerance/craving level will be where it was as if you had *continued* drinking for the entire last year.

When I first learned this I didn't really believe it, because it doesn't seem to make medical sense to me. But then I relapsed. I had always been a wine drinker, and when I started drinking again I went almost straight to vodka and was drinking far more heavily than I had been when I quit. It was very weird and there was no other way to explain it. Just please keep that in mind, and be careful.

GG
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Old 04-19-2011, 09:45 PM
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Originally Posted by drunkallnight View Post
Well, today is my one year mark. I did this to prove a point to myself that I can go without alcohol for an entire year. I used to be a 2-bottle a day vodka drinker. I now plan to drink in moderation. I know, I know, all the AA-beaters in here that believe that they are doomed-alkie-victims believe it cant be done, but I also never thought I would go a whole year without alcohol.

Im cured!!!!
Maybe, maybe not. I guess you will see.

If not, we will be here to help.

If so, maybe you weren't an alcoholic to begin with.

The book says to try some controlled drinking to get a full knowledge of your condition.

I don't encourage anyone to drink.

A 2 bottle per day vodka habit, sounds like it was too much. Enough to make you stop.

Thinking that it will be different this time, is something that I can relate with. I made that mistake over and over.

I hope that it is not true for you.

I had one year when I was much younger. I thought...well I proved I could do it, not drink for one year...

Now I can drink again.

This led to 20 more years of hell.

I hope this doesn't happen for you.

Read about the man in the big book that stayed sober for years with a return to drinking. He was dead in 4 years.

Once we return to drinking, we are in a short time as bad as we were.

(If we are real alcoholics).

Again, I can only hope this won't be true for you.

Best wishes
~
More About Alcoholism...

"An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-five years and retired at the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy business career. Then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified him to drink as other men.

Out came his carpet slippers and a bottle. In two months he was in a hospital, puzzled and humiliated. He tried to regulate his drinking for a little while, making several trips to the hospital meantime. Then, gathering all his forces, he attempted to stop altogether and found he could not. Every means of solving his problem which money could buy was at his disposal. Every attempt failed. Though a robust man at retirement, he went to pieces quickly and was dead within four years.

This case contains a powerful lesson. Most of us have believed that if we remained sober for a long stretch, we could thereafter drink normally. But here is a man who at fifty-five years found he was just where he had left off at thirty. We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic." Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol."
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Old 04-19-2011, 11:54 PM
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Why do you want to drink alcohol? There are complicated underlying reasons.

I am not an AA'er, not even available to me here except over the internet, no F2F, but I value the 12 steps (and other methods) to unearth those underlying reasons. They help with life in general also, not just with drinking.

Wine is good because it has anti-oxidants? Not my reason to drink. There are other anti-oxidants.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Being sober is sobering, and often painful, as I think you know. Being numb, is just waiting for the hammer to drop, in my humble opinion.

I haven't made a year yet, but if I do....
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Old 04-19-2011, 11:55 PM
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Sorry to say, but I feel disaster is going to happen. Firstly anyone who drinks like we did, i.e. two bottles of Vodka a day, cannot possibly be anything like a "normal drinker", I feel this is the disease telling you that you are ok to drink, the mind is tricking you into thinking "yes, I can just have a drink with dinner" or "yay I can have just two drinks". Denial is setting in, you are convincing yourself that everything will be fine, ok and dandy, then......pow bang you will be right back on it again. Please think everything through right to the end before you take the next drink. I have been there so many times before, I know how it will end if I take a drink???!!! take care x
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Old 04-20-2011, 09:25 AM
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Well, I didn't go get another bottle. Im feeling not so good today, but all in all Im proud I didn't get that second bottle, despite getting the first.
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Old 04-20-2011, 09:35 AM
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I too am glad. I hope you get back on track. That is what kills people off..they are too drunk to make any type of a STOP drinking decision..I am sure that is why people die in their sleep choking on their own vomit. They are too intoxicated to roll over and drown. I am glad you checked back. AND I quit drinking because I drank like you. Alcoholic drinking. Hope you feel better and get some kind of help. You don't have to go thru this again. You proved yourself wrong.
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Old 04-20-2011, 10:12 AM
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Yeah, I basically feel like S%it. I can feel the cycle starting to gain momentum. This is when I just keep drinking and drinking because I don't want to deal wiith a day or so of feeling like crap.
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Old 04-20-2011, 10:16 AM
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Getting another bottle. Just can't handle this today.
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Old 04-20-2011, 10:17 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by drunkallnight View Post
Yeah, I basically feel like S%it. I can feel the cycle starting to gain momentum. This is when I just keep drinking and drinking because I don't want to deal wiith a day or so of feeling like crap.
So what are you going to do? There appears to be fork in the road for you at this moment.
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Old 04-20-2011, 10:21 AM
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You don't have to punish yourself anymore! Yet if you insist......
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Old 04-20-2011, 10:33 AM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by drunkallnight View Post
Yeah, I basically feel like S%it. I can feel the cycle starting to gain momentum. This is when I just keep drinking and drinking because I don't want to deal wiith a day or so of feeling like crap.

Getting another bottle. Just can't handle this today.
Since no one else has done it, I feel I should point out the obvious again:
Re-addiction is usually much more "efficient" than the initial addiction, and will occur much, much faster.
The more you delay quitting, the further along and closer to re-addiction you will get, and the worse the withdrawal will be. If you keep drinking, tomorrow will be worse than today.

Your tolerance has temporarily been reduced as a result of prolonged abstinence, but if you keep this up long enough to surpass your previous tolerance level, you are going to be in for quite a ride.
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Old 04-20-2011, 10:40 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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Please stop.

If you need help, get it.

I have only been on SR a short time and I have already seen a couple of people relapse in horrible ways. Thinking of you.
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Old 04-20-2011, 10:55 AM
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Dan I feel so frustrated for you. I did this..I stopped drinking Aug 22nd. Made it all the way to 10/3..birthday party tripped me up. I was livid that I started because I am a lush from hell..no stopping once I started but I had all the good intentions. I farted around with it for 3 weeks NOT drinking daily. But thinking hmmm...I blew my date..BUT it got worse and worse. I thought I was bad before..I was a staggering idiot. FINALLY just got MAD and stopped!! You have to stop. If you find you can't get some help. It does come back with a vengeance...I used to drink whiskey and beer mostly..well the beer was like drinking Kool Aid..I hit the hard stuff. Don't blow your liver and your self esteem..you can do this..if not..look for some help. I found HR and I will give back all the help and encouragement I have received. I care Dan. We all do.
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Old 04-20-2011, 10:57 AM
  # 55 (permalink)  
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Dear DAN,

You've gotten a lot of advice and suggestions from a lot of caring and wise people. I don't have much to add except just to say that I am thinking about you and I hope you can stop and that all turns out well. I logged on here from work today specifically to find out how you were doing, and I feel for you. This is a b**tard to kick, and it's not going to be easy even after a year of sobriety...but with a year of sobriety under your belt, you have some tools and experience at your disposal that not all of us have. At some point you just have to not take the next drink and feel the pain for a while. Stay in bed all day...eat a gallon of ice cream. Do what you have to do, but please do pour our the vodka and live to fight another day. Sending prayers and good wishes your way.
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Old 04-20-2011, 11:15 AM
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Yeah I AM AT WORK TOO! So this is my last request for you to Pony Up and get back on the horse or whatever that saying is. I have to work. That is what they want you to do when you are at work...WORK! Dan...keep checking back.
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Old 04-20-2011, 01:25 PM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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HELLO!!!! Wake up, we all want you to do better, we are praying for you, PLEASE




STOP
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Old 04-20-2011, 01:37 PM
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Ok, I have a confession. I haven't been sober for a year. I was drunk as **** when I wrote that. I haven't even quit foor a day even. I probalby never weill.
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Old 04-20-2011, 01:40 PM
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deleted smart remark.
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Old 04-20-2011, 01:42 PM
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I am so sorry drunkallnight

Every waking moment is a chance to turn it all around.
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