Sneezy

LaF, I'm digging my way out of debt slowly and am now worrying about the possibility of losing my job in this economy, so I know the anxiety of which you speak! It always seems to be worse in the middle of the night, too....

Wise words here and I would echo what's been said about bankruptcy. A fresh start after an honest assessment of what is possible is entirely okay, in my book, and like everybody says, there is life after bankruptcy too!

I feel a lot of support here for you - hang in there, glad you reached out, hope your solution is soon in sight.

Supercrew

Great post LMM! My friends who went through it had similar experiences, it's nice to know that there are options, and you are right about collection agencies they are brutal and many are unwilling to work with you at all.

Hollyanne

I wish you the best LaFemme, and I do have experience of money always appearing at the last minute. I hope this happens for you. A lot of good suggestions above. I too agree about bankruptcy in certain situations. With the whole world economy up in a heap, why should you feel bad?
I am starting from scratch right now and thinking of writing to all the liquor stores for my money back! Naw, but they aren't getting anymore.
Do you have a website with your art on there? Also, maybe you could get your art on cards.
Hang in there and keep your head up high. You are not alone.

Reset

LaFemme you seem like a nice person so I'm sorry to hear about your troubles.

Sneezy

Oh, LMM, I meant to comment on your post too!

Have a lot of respect for how you handled a very tough situation. That was no easy road but you kept at it. I know what you mean about finding out that you handle more than you ever dreamed, but you can't know until you are there.

Thank you for your wonderful, honest post.

LosingmyMisery

Let me give you another example. The third time I was sued I knew I was going to court to meet with an arbitrator and that my wages would most likely be garnished. I already had the paperwork and just needed to file for bankruptcy in the court. The judge had us meet in a room and discuss monies. He asked me several questions and I had to supply proof of income and expenses. He asked how much I could pay a month. I offered to pay $125.00 a month. Not a lot of money, but it was a fair offer considering, as far as I was concerned. He was only acting as a middle man and took the offer back to the collection agency and gave them my offer. They in return sent a letter stating that my offer was denied and wanted at least $250.00 a month. I then send them a check for the $125.00. It was not the amount they wanted, but it was an effort made in good faith. They cashed the check and then garnished my wages for $360.00. What happened to the $250.00 they originally stated? I thought sending the money would hold the wolves at bay, but no deal. Money was sent to them and they went right for the garnishment.

I did some research on the agency on the internet and came back with some pretty ruthless stories. They were indeed unwilling to work with people. They were very difficult to get through to. It is hard to negotiate if you cannot get through on the phone and there is no email address made available.

There was even a story about a mother with a newborn baby struggling to make ends meet and they were unwilling to work with her. She was trying, but going through tough times and struggling to meet the needs of a newborn. Yeah, I may have bad credit, but I do not have a cold heart.

MrDavid

We will pray for a financial breakthrough -on your behalf, which might help ease those burdens of yours. The least we can do in your hour of need is to support you as best we can, since you've been amazingly instrumental in our recovery for so long. Keep us close, as always, and never give up hope -despite your worries.

~God bless~

Veritas1

Be encouraged! Stay hopeful! You never know what God can do!

May God bless you and keep you and hold you in the palm of His hand.

LaFemme

Thank you, thank you, thank you

For all your thoughts and prayers.

Lmm...your sharing has made a huge difference in how I see things...thank you you are very brave!

The hardest task will be not beating myself up for this...this thread has helped...hearing from so many people I respect and admire makes all the difference.

Hollyanne...I do have a website...pm me if you would like to see it. I have cards and was actually at a free play tonight where I may have gotten some interest in my work.

You all are the best!

Hugs!

ReadyAndAble

I don't have any pearls of financial wisdom to offer. But I do have prayers. And as someone who's been reading your posts since I arrived here, I have to say that I aspire to have a heart as grateful as yours. Seems to me you've found an appreciation for life that the wealthiest people in the world can't buy.

Impurrfect

((((LaFemme))) - sending many hugs and prayers your way. I'm in a similar situation, and live at home with dad/stepmom and HE had to file bankruptcy last year.

I love your attitude about it all. I, too, work the 2 jobs and am back in school (covered by grants).

Have no idea what will happen, but I DO have faith that things will work out as they're supposed to.

Good for you, that you didn't reach for a bottle through all of this. Keep doing what you can, put the one foot in front of the other, and I'm sure it will work out.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

mercurial me

You are one the most thoughtful & considerate people I've ever had the privilege of talking & sharing with. I can't promise you a lottery ticket, but I am absolutely sure that God is going to help a person like you through these tough financial times.

Do you know how brave you are to stay sober because you're addiction is the cause of your money problems? It is just about the most vicious cycle of the disease, imho

Fandy

I hope that today brings you some positive results and some extra special insight.

You might want to make a list (or spreadsheet in excel) with the amount of each debt, interest rate on it and a contact phone number and email address with a blank column for tracking the name of the person you deal with and notation of the outcome. If you have a lot of different debts this can keep you from getting confused.

also a daily track of you $$ out for various expenses to see what is the biggest drain...even the daily coffees and lunch can add up to almost $100. a week.

azureseas

Hi LF
You are a smart, kind and creative woman. I really enjoy your posts and send you good thoughts.
Do you do paintings of dogs? Think I remember reading something about that. I love the one of the child you posted on the Creatives on SR thread

LaFemme

I can't tell you how grateful I am that I actually asked for your good vibes....this thread has gone a loooonnnnggggg way towards relieving my anxiety about the situation....funny, nothing seemed to help drinking anxiety.

I feel your support gives me the strength to start making those phone calls tomorrow...I'm almost looking forward to it.

For now I am in the studio working on two commissions which when complete will bring in some extra dineros

Xoxoxoxo, Tina

oak

I'm sending prayers and good wishes your way. I have no great advice but it seems like others had lots of good ideas. I'm glad you are feeling more able to deal with the situation. Keep breathing (meditating, etc, whatever helps you stay centered)!

recycle

LaF, when you are making your calls tomorrow, do what you can to detach yourself. You are LaFemme's Business Manager, not LaFemme.

Bad debt is part of doing business. Back when I managed an office, bad debt was a line item in my expenses that I contributed each month whether I had bad debt that month or not. Over the years I can think only one or two instances where I took bad debt as anything personal. These were extraordinary circumstances, and in 99.5% of the cases I would be more than happy to do business with those same companies/people again. I might ask for a retainer up front, but ca-ca happens.

Another thing to be aware of, is once the debt is turned over to a collection agency, the original company has already taken the loss. We sell our bad debt to a collection agency for fifty cents on the dollar. Once an account is in collections, I really don't care whether it gets paid or not. I am not being heartless toward the collection agencies, it just their business, they take on bad debt in hopes of making money.

I am pointing this out in hopes that you will not beat yourself up over this process. Blame and responsibility are not the same thing. Be fearless, detached, and work the best deal you can. You are nothing more than an account number to them, and you are far more than that to us.

ste

Chiming in late (been busy), thoughts (as always), and prayers from here too.

AW2486

just dug out of 25K CC debt. Not easy. But simple.

As a few others have posted.

1. I stopped using them.
2. Worked extra hours.
3. Paid extra every time. Even if its a small amount.
4. after one is paid off, started doing balance transfers to lower rates.

Took 5 years. No fast fix. But it worked.

LaFemme

Thanks again all!

I have been on the phone this morning taking care of my car $$$ problems, this was the catalyst that prompted the post, so it is most pressing. Will take most of the day just to get this problem pointed in the right direction.

I am following recycle's advice to detach and so far I've actually been talking to really nice people which helps.

I am also taking Fandy's advice and keeping notes on everything and setting up a spreadsheet.

I also posted an ad on Craigslist for a roommate. I don't know how that will go since my dogs might make it difficult to find someone, but it's something.

This afternoon I'm going to follow up some leads on people who have expressed interest in buying paintings in the past.

Thanks again for your continued support...it means the world to me