Sidney14

6 MONTHS SOBER and where is it getting me, still dealing with all the crap that I managed to do whilst I relapsed through postnatal depression, finally have my family back togehter my three kids are with me, but still I am paying for it for my DUI which obviously occurred whilst drunk, not thinking, depressed, and only 8 days after giving birth prematurely......... not that it matters amd making myself crazy by reading articles after articles in the newspaper about Drink Drivers getting caught it seems to be at least two per day getting published......... Have been now close to seven months without a license spent six week in rehab am attending a weekly drung and alcohol outpatient program seeing a psychiatrist every three weeks, my court case which has been adjourned I do not know how many time and my solicitor who has been costing me a fortune throughout this, it causing me a lot of disress. My next court case is on the 13th of May so 3.5 weeks to go...my anxiety is up again, just can't do it anymore am just so tired......sorry not having a good day.....I try to be strong but I do feel like I am in this on my own not being on my own in recovery but on my own facing this DUI .........

Dee74

Sidney - try to focus on a day at a time - you know how important it is that you stay sober and build on what you've done so far.

Lean on us for support when you need it

I hope the fact they keep adjourning your case will end in good news for you.
D

LexieCat

Sounds to me like you're focusing on something you currently have little control over, and indulging in quite a bit of self-pity.

Having your family back is a VERY big deal.

Maybe it would be good if you actually RECOVERED before you get your license back. You don't want to be right back in this spot at some time in the future, do you? Focus on getting well. The DUI will be resolved in due time.

aasharon90

So many of us have had to face the past destruction
of our lives when drinking or using. I am one of them
too. When we got sober we had to face the music of
what we had done. The people we hurt, property
destruction, relationships and so on.

I was so into my drinking that little did I know nor
care what kind of affect it would have on my family
and friends that depended on me. A mom, wife,
employee, daughter, friend.......I was so into my
selfish thinking and actions that still thinking about
it makes me sad.

Here I was out a club having fun drinking carrying
on while my little family is comfy at home. Here I
was driving while drunk. Racing down the road.
Driving up the interstate into oncoming traffic. Insane.
Then running off the road hitting a concrete culvert
at 2 in the morning. Rode in an EMS and dont even
remember that experience. Dagnamit.

To think I scared the hell out of my family when they
got that call in the wee hours of the morning that their
loved one was in a horrific accident and is in ER. Can
you imagine how they felt. Me i had no idea. How sad
that was.

Fast forward a few month and I heal nicely vowing I had
enough alcohol. That was Feb 1990. Come Aug. 1990 I
was right back at the same club doing the same thing as
if nothing happened months before. SICK SICK SICK. This
time i returned home and tried to take my life because I felt
like a loser, failure, hopeless.

Finally family stepped in and saved my life with an intervention.

The destruction of the past had to be delt with. I had a jury
trial after I went thru rehab but had to face the music. Then
all the money my family had to fork out for my sickness. They
must have loved me alot to put up with all that I put them thru.

Enough to save my life that August 10, 1990. The next full sober
day was my sobriety date and still is some 20 yrs later. Since then I have worked hard to repair the damage I cause during my illness and never forget what I put my loved ones thru. That's where humility comes in.

Today I am a responsible sober happy loving person traveling
the road of recovery continuing to share my own eperiences,
strengths and hopes of what it was like before durung and after
drinking to those who still suffer.

Each new sober day is a blessing because I surely wouldnt
be here if it werent for the worry, love and compassion of my
family. And I surely wouldnt still be sober if it werent for the
many in recovery if they hadnt shared their own ESH with me.

skg

EXACTLY! Everything you said before this is self-pity about the past (fear) and everything after is unknown whining about the future (fear). You have identified the whole problem: Anxiety.
F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real or F*&# Everything And Run) of the future. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what you can't control. Fear. And you recognized it!

You didn't drink, and you recognized a most basic fear: fear of the future. It's what causes your anxiety and restlessness! With one foot in the past and one foot in the future, I never was capable of dealing with the here-and-now of today. I was always planning or regretting and there was never any time for loving my life, my family, my senses, my God. My very own NOW.

Get in the now because you don't have to do it alone. Call someone who's in recovery with you, and let tomorrow alone. It's got it's own hurdles.

Anna

Focus on the positives, Sidney and you can get through this!

CarolD

Praers for peace of mind coming your way..
And this might help get you back in balance..it does me.



The Serenity Prayer

.God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

TheEnd

I know how you feel, I have a pending DUI that I still have to deal with. Unfortunately, just because we get sober, the past is not forgotten. We must still pay for our misdeeds. The blessing of this new way of life is never having to go through this situation again if we remain sober.

You can make this your last DUI you have to deal with, unfortunately I wasn't smart enough to learn my lesson and this is my second. This too shall pass, but just make sure it doesn't come around again.

Keep your head up!!

ZZworldontheweb

Try to think of it like "I don't have to mess with this for 3.5 whole weeks"

Sidney14

You also have a pending one? I am working on foccussing on the now each day some days are so much easier then others and the last couple of days including today have been harder.......those fleeting thoughts come into my head that I am not good enough those old thoughts, but I have not picked up over it and I am still sober .and yes it is fear extreme fear fear of the unknown

Sidney14

Sorry am also sick of whinging since I know it will not change anything but maybe just get it out there....

BobGT

If posting makes you feel better, keep it up. That is what we are here for.

And six months sober is fantastic!

MrDavid

I need to address those concerns with a clear conscious and try not to worry myself of anything that is out of my control -for now. I do not project about future worries because those worries can suffocate my sobriety -once again. I would focus on my recovery first, and then handle any remaining problems on a priority basis and not on a day to day basis. These problems can cause a potential relapse, so I suggest you refocus you attention elsewhere and put those trying circumstances to rest -for now- until you’re more equipped to handle them. The AA fellowship has many qualified professionals who can be your eyes and ears, so I suggest you make mention of those concerns to anyone who can be a voice of reason in your hour of need. Keep focused on your recovery and never give up hope as you begin the process of reclaiming your life -one day at a time

~God bless~

:ghug3

Sidney14

Thanks. My friend and sponsor in a way is away at teh moment on holidays and he is who I totally honest with about everything which makes it hard..... He alwas has wise words to offer me when I am having those crazy thoughts or fear in my head....I know that I can't do anyrthing about the past nor the future only the now...Also weekends are so much harder for me to handle then being at work,........