Rift

So I went on a 25 beer drinking spree last night. I am not at all happy about it. I just can't do it. I really really can't have just one or two. I don't know why I do it to myself. I can go months without the booze but when something sets me off it's all or nothing. All that sober time gone...Unbelieveable. Man I am an idiot.

MsCooterBrown

WEll if you had all the sober time before you had a brain fart and drank..you can achieve it again. You know you can't drink..but you must not have accepted that. Wonder if you thought something might be different this time? Sounds like you are ready to admit that you are all or nothing..maybe find out a plan B ..anything different to keep you from drinking. Glad you are ok.

gravity

I went through this pattern. Swear off for a few months, start thinking I could handle it, then go on a blackout binge.

My moment of clarity was the moment I accepted my alcoholism AND that I needed help. Called AA while still half-p**sed from my last binge. Sober for over three years now - alcohol has no place in my life anymore.

Krang

You're not an idiot, DownWDisease. Keep trying. If you went months, now you can go years.

Rift

I'm not gonna be too hard on myself. I have done a really good job abstaining until last night. I was just frustrated about some things going on in my life. That is what set me off. The thing is I knew when I bought the beer that it wouldn't be just a few like a normal person. I knew I was going to drink em all. Then of course I had to buy ciggs to go with my beer which I don't even smoke when I'm not drinking. What a waste of money.

I acutally drank 23 but it's still a ridiculous amount right? Who drinks that much beer? I guess this guy and it truly is a big problem.

Anyways, I will take this as a learning experience. Thanks everyone!

Ghostly

Get back to it.

keithj

That implies that you will take this new knowledge and use it so that you don't repeat this event.

What have you learned, exactly? 1) That you drink to excess when you drink. 2) That, for no particular reason, you will pick up a drink after deciding to not drink any more.

I'm betting you already knew these things about yourself. And that knowledge didn't prevent you from drinking, or help you manage how much you drank.

I read people advising that since you had some sober time before, you can do it again. It depends on how you look at it, I suppose. I look at this and say, "Since you accomplished a few months sober and then relapsed, you can do it again." 'It' including the relapse.

In my own experience, I could do that numerous times. Over and over. And it was only when I actually stopped getting back on the horse and doing the same exact thing over again, did that insanity stop.

Yeah, no doubt you can do this again. The question is, do you want to stay sober for a few months and then relapse again? I'm sure it's doable.

ImReadyToQuit

I've done the same thing many times.. It probably went something like this..

I'm going to drink a 3-4 beers.. Ya felt great after those.. But not drunk so you figured it'd be ok to continue to finish the 6.. Feel better.. But not drunk so you continued... After the 12 pack, you were drunk and figured I failed at sobriety.. Might as well drink till I pass out..

Atleast your stopping there.. Usually I went on for a week or so..

sailorjohn

Hopefully, you'll have better luck abstaining than I did.

FBL

Well, I could easily drink that much in one session, especially on a Saturday or Sunday. In fact, I drank like that for years. I guess you could say I "relapsed" constantly for nearly 30 years.

Your recent sober time did not "go down the drain". You just need to get back on the horse and figure out what to do when life throws you some more s**t. For me, no matter what, drinking is just not an option. I hope you get there someday soon.

TheEnd

Sounds like insanity to me............we know we can't do it, but we keep on trying

OklaBH

I think its the weather getting nice that is making people relapse. I swear..something is up. You asked who drinks 25 beers...uh...ME! Im an alcoholic. My body has to shut down, pass out, blackout something before i stop. We need new tools to quit this!

billsaintjames

I used to use the weather as an excuse to start drinking...and I included all possible variations of weather as my motivation.

If it was nice out? Let's celebrate the nice weather with some whiskey drinks in the sun. Snowing? Let's stay in and be thankful for our warm apartment...with a couple bottles of wine. Raining? Let's stay dry, play cards and watch the rain fall...along with a case of beer and lots of weed. Etc., etc.

Scolova

A case of beers would have been a bit more than I use to drink in a day, but I always tried to keep some as a start for the next day's liver-beat-down. I am just starting to enjoy my sobriety after a decade of drowning myself in beer... I feel like I could have sent a couple of kids to a great college with all those clams, but no, they went to a mega-corp. I hope you get back sober and stay that way.

I have to laugh at all the 'weather' comments: I'm on my day6 and just this morning I thought how great it would be if our area finally got some heavy rain and thunder storms.... Then I remembered, I always drink heavily during storms.
Many changes to come.

skg

The real question is this: What will you do differently the NEXT time, 'things go on,' in your life? You've proven you can run into a beer bottle, so what's going to be different?

I quit drinking beer completely. Abstained from it totally. Drinking a couple cases a week was expensive and I never got a good buzz on after a while-- I, 'drank until I was thirsty again,' as Sheryl Crow's lyrics say... So I quit.

And I picked up something else. And then that stopped working on those 'things' in my life so I picked up more elses'. It never occurred to me that the drinking was the symptom, not the solution. It takes what it takes, but it all starts with the rigorous honesty and realization that one is too many, a hundred not enough.

Zencat

Thinking that I could have just a couple beers when I purchase an 18 pack never worked out well. I too would drink them all and then some.

Learning how to react to life's ups and downs sober is the way to go. That's where having a recovery plan can help. Knowing that there is an option to either practice a recovery tool or not during times when drinking is desired can help you stop drinking altogether. When drinking seems like the only choice, recovery tools can offer more choices.

Rift

All I can say is I'm GOING to get back on track. That is what I do know.

I totally forgot how much drinking can throw off your sleep patterns. You really do not get quality sleep after drinking. I was so tired the next day and really still recovering on day 2. It's like I didn't even sleep or something.

departure

This may sound trite, but I heard a song on the radio this morning with the words "I know I can't take one more step towards you, cause all that's waiting is regret." For the rest of the song, in place of the lover it was about, I framed it in terms of alcohol and it took on a meaning of reasons why and strength to stay away from it.

gymi11

I think you just proved to yourself your alcoholic. I did the same thing 2-3 weeks ago. I had a year sober or dry as I did it alone, then went out. I went at it for 3 days straight, in a black out the entire time. I bought a fifth of whiskey on a Friday and woke up Monday morning. I dont remember going out to buy more or anything but I did as the cans and bottles told the story. I am so lucky I didnt get into trouble. I came back into AA with a vengeance. A sponser, co-sponser, daily meetings readings, the whole deal. I cant do this alone. I cant do this anymore, back and forth, back and forth....its killing my mind and destroying my relationships. I want sobriety this time. You can do the same man.

Dee74

hey DWD

I really urge you to look at doing something different now.

Get up, dust yourself off, and think about what you can do to avoid getting back into the same situation drinking sounds like a viable option.

change - real change - involves actual...change.

If you just 'don't drink ' again for a while, I think the chances are you'll end up here again.

D