Difficulty Embarking on Sobriety...Any helpful advice?
DDNNPP
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Mountain Top, PA
Posts: 3
Difficulty Embarking on Sobriety...Any helpful advice?
A little background:
I have a family history of substance abuse problems, and I get easily addicted to anything, whether it be booze, pills, a type of food or an activity. I began drinking regularly when I was 18, and very heavily when I was 19. I immediately developed bad habits with alcohol, as I used it to cover up my debilitating social anxiety. So I often would drink alone, in secret, at school, before/during a work event, etc. I quickly became a habitual drinker, and eventually an alcoholic.
When I was about 21 I developed crippling anxiety and panic attacks, as well as generally intolerable hangovers. Ever since that point I've been tinkering around with sobriety, but have never really found a way to make it stick. I am now 26 and just overdid it once again last night after 14 days of sobriety. I guess it's the normal justifications and "forgetting" about all the awful things alcohol has done to me in my life. I know it's absolutely destroying me and has put an enormous amount of stress on my relationship with my girlfriend of 3 years, but I just can't seem to kick it. My girlfriend is extremely supportive, but I don't think she fully understands the madness of this addiction, and the crazy highs and lows it produces...
The longest stint with sobriety I had was about 90 days in 2009. I know it's a "one day at a time" kind of thing, but I really need some advice on how to make sobriety stick. Perhaps I've never taken it this seriously before, rationalizing to myself and so on and so forth. For the sake of my relationship, my health and my sanity i'm hoping i can get "addicted" to sobriety.
Any thoughts, advice, encouragement is welcomed. I've never done this sort of thing before and am terrified of AA meetings, as I am extremely reserved/awkward. I find that my anxiety/panic is quelled when someone, especially some with experience, is able to tell me that this will pass, and greener pastures await.
I have a family history of substance abuse problems, and I get easily addicted to anything, whether it be booze, pills, a type of food or an activity. I began drinking regularly when I was 18, and very heavily when I was 19. I immediately developed bad habits with alcohol, as I used it to cover up my debilitating social anxiety. So I often would drink alone, in secret, at school, before/during a work event, etc. I quickly became a habitual drinker, and eventually an alcoholic.
When I was about 21 I developed crippling anxiety and panic attacks, as well as generally intolerable hangovers. Ever since that point I've been tinkering around with sobriety, but have never really found a way to make it stick. I am now 26 and just overdid it once again last night after 14 days of sobriety. I guess it's the normal justifications and "forgetting" about all the awful things alcohol has done to me in my life. I know it's absolutely destroying me and has put an enormous amount of stress on my relationship with my girlfriend of 3 years, but I just can't seem to kick it. My girlfriend is extremely supportive, but I don't think she fully understands the madness of this addiction, and the crazy highs and lows it produces...
The longest stint with sobriety I had was about 90 days in 2009. I know it's a "one day at a time" kind of thing, but I really need some advice on how to make sobriety stick. Perhaps I've never taken it this seriously before, rationalizing to myself and so on and so forth. For the sake of my relationship, my health and my sanity i'm hoping i can get "addicted" to sobriety.
Any thoughts, advice, encouragement is welcomed. I've never done this sort of thing before and am terrified of AA meetings, as I am extremely reserved/awkward. I find that my anxiety/panic is quelled when someone, especially some with experience, is able to tell me that this will pass, and greener pastures await.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome! Yes, there are greener pastures out there!
I think you hit the nail on the head about having to take this seriously. Alcoholism is progressive - it only gets worse in every possible way.
A part of the drinking cycle is anxiety and depression, which gets really uncomfortable and can lead us back to a drink. If you have anxiety to begin with, drinking will only make it worse.
None of us can stay sober on our own. I'm 11 months sober and still need a daily reminder of the reasons I want/need to stay sober. We all need support to do this, and you've come to a great place...... if we can do it, you can too.:ghug3
I think you hit the nail on the head about having to take this seriously. Alcoholism is progressive - it only gets worse in every possible way.
A part of the drinking cycle is anxiety and depression, which gets really uncomfortable and can lead us back to a drink. If you have anxiety to begin with, drinking will only make it worse.
None of us can stay sober on our own. I'm 11 months sober and still need a daily reminder of the reasons I want/need to stay sober. We all need support to do this, and you've come to a great place...... if we can do it, you can too.:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,061
Hey pizzafan,
You have to make the choice to be sober, no one else can do it for you I'm on day 59 without alcohol for the first time in around 15 years, it has been hard but so worth it. Done are the days of suffering through the day just to get to that next drink. I'm a better father, husband and person without alcohol. You can do it too, stay strong and take care of yourself.
You have to make the choice to be sober, no one else can do it for you I'm on day 59 without alcohol for the first time in around 15 years, it has been hard but so worth it. Done are the days of suffering through the day just to get to that next drink. I'm a better father, husband and person without alcohol. You can do it too, stay strong and take care of yourself.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
hi pizzafan!
Dipping your toes into sobriety is painful, better to just dive in and stop tinkering
My experience was that I developed anxiety as my alcoholism progressed. I also found that this did not get better as soon as I got sober. In fact, it was a little worse, scary, because I did not have alcohol to protect me. BUT the amazing thing was that the longer I stayed sober the more it decreased and today I do not have any anxiety.
I was terrified at those first few AA meetings. I went alone cause I had to go because of DUI mandate, but you could take your girlfriend along to open AA meetings, if she would go. I know lots of people that have brought or bring family or friends to support them, especially in the beginning. The other thing was that I went to same sex meetings a lot in the beginning. So I went to a lot of women's meetings in the beginning because it was less intimidating. You can look on the AA website for your area and it will have a listing of men's meetings in your are.
I wish you the best!
Dipping your toes into sobriety is painful, better to just dive in and stop tinkering
My experience was that I developed anxiety as my alcoholism progressed. I also found that this did not get better as soon as I got sober. In fact, it was a little worse, scary, because I did not have alcohol to protect me. BUT the amazing thing was that the longer I stayed sober the more it decreased and today I do not have any anxiety.
I was terrified at those first few AA meetings. I went alone cause I had to go because of DUI mandate, but you could take your girlfriend along to open AA meetings, if she would go. I know lots of people that have brought or bring family or friends to support them, especially in the beginning. The other thing was that I went to same sex meetings a lot in the beginning. So I went to a lot of women's meetings in the beginning because it was less intimidating. You can look on the AA website for your area and it will have a listing of men's meetings in your are.
I wish you the best!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Hi Pizzafan,
For me, to make sobriety stick, I had to change everything. I changed myself from the inside out. I removed a couple of people from my life, I started taking long walks after supper and doing yoga, I read a lot of books on spirituality because I needed to reconnect with my spiritual self.
Know that you can do this and I do understand the anxiety/panic attacks as I started using alcohol to self-medicate those issues. What happened was that I quickly became addicted to alcohol and my anxiety was far worse. Yes, I still have anxiety issues, but I am able to deal with that and you can learn healthy ways to deal with anxiety. For example, the simple exercise of taking a few very deep, belly breaths will calm you because anxiety causes you to have shallow, short breaths which actually increases the anxious feelings.
For me, to make sobriety stick, I had to change everything. I changed myself from the inside out. I removed a couple of people from my life, I started taking long walks after supper and doing yoga, I read a lot of books on spirituality because I needed to reconnect with my spiritual self.
Know that you can do this and I do understand the anxiety/panic attacks as I started using alcohol to self-medicate those issues. What happened was that I quickly became addicted to alcohol and my anxiety was far worse. Yes, I still have anxiety issues, but I am able to deal with that and you can learn healthy ways to deal with anxiety. For example, the simple exercise of taking a few very deep, belly breaths will calm you because anxiety causes you to have shallow, short breaths which actually increases the anxious feelings.
DDNNPP
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Mountain Top, PA
Posts: 3
Thanks, i really appreciate the support. It's an incredibly difficult thing, and I know the first few days have always been the hardest for me, as I have hangover anxiety, then general/free-floating anxiety and so on.
I am glad I discovered this site (i apparently registered for it in 2008, but i have no recollection of this). Thank you.
I am glad I discovered this site (i apparently registered for it in 2008, but i have no recollection of this). Thank you.
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