It's my birthday!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Rooster Poot, Texas
Posts: 76
It's my birthday!
Actually, it's one day past my Birthday where I live now~~ I was just busy all day. 
April 6th, 2011. One Year Sober.
In this one year I have seen my life, myself, transformed in a multitude ways.
I have gone from a broken, sick, scared, angry human being to someone I barely recognize full of hope & strength & peace whom others can now turn to, instead of having to rescue. I have physically watched myself go from a pustule-infested, red faced, blotchy, bloated, swollen, overweight, weak, puking, devastatingly physically addicted alcoholic with a liver my doctor described as belonging to a 75 yr old chronic alkie (I'm 46) to someone with clear skin, shiny hair, bright, clear eyes, & 60+ lighter & physically strong & healthy~~ & my doctor describes what happened to my liver as 'miraculous'. My life went from fearful & hopeless to something so full of love & joy & plans for the future that sometimes I want to pinch myself to see if I am dreaming.
Life is good.
April 6th, 2011. One Year Sober.
In this one year I have seen my life, myself, transformed in a multitude ways.
I have gone from a broken, sick, scared, angry human being to someone I barely recognize full of hope & strength & peace whom others can now turn to, instead of having to rescue. I have physically watched myself go from a pustule-infested, red faced, blotchy, bloated, swollen, overweight, weak, puking, devastatingly physically addicted alcoholic with a liver my doctor described as belonging to a 75 yr old chronic alkie (I'm 46) to someone with clear skin, shiny hair, bright, clear eyes, & 60+ lighter & physically strong & healthy~~ & my doctor describes what happened to my liver as 'miraculous'. My life went from fearful & hopeless to something so full of love & joy & plans for the future that sometimes I want to pinch myself to see if I am dreaming.
Life is good.
9
Encourager In Training
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: KS
Posts: 717
Originally Posted by TenNinetySix 
I have gone from a broken, sick, scared, angry human being to someone I barely recognize full of hope & strength & peace whom others can now turn to, instead of having to rescue. I have physically watched myself go from a pustule-infested, red faced, blotchy, bloated, swollen, overweight, weak, puking, devastatingly physically addicted alcoholic with a liver my doctor described as belonging to a 75 yr old chronic alkie (I'm 46) to someone with clear skin, shiny hair, bright, clear eyes, & 60+ lighter & physically strong & healthy~~ & my doctor describes what happened to my liver as 'miraculous'. My life went from fearful & hopeless to something so full of love & joy & plans for the future that sometimes I want to pinch myself to see if I am dreaming.
Life is good.
Life is good.
For those broken by alcohol yet paralyzed by the fear life won't be worth living with booze.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Rooster Poot, Texas
Posts: 76
How did I do it...
I worked hard on myself repairing the things broken inside that led to the abuse in the first place. I went to meetings even though in my small, rural town the 90 in 90 was impossible. Because there is only one meeting a week where I live, when possible I journeyed as far as 100 miles to make a meeting. I stopped BSing my therapist. I kept myself well fed, well rested, & spiritually sound. I worked the Steps, some of them twice, three times. I woke up & prayed to my Higher Power every day. I read the book a LOT & found a Group 34 miles from my home that does nothing BUT Big Book study & went to those meetings when my job would allow it. I was blessed with a strong support group which I allowed to develop & grow & envelope more people.
In other words... I did the work. ( :
I worked hard on myself repairing the things broken inside that led to the abuse in the first place. I went to meetings even though in my small, rural town the 90 in 90 was impossible. Because there is only one meeting a week where I live, when possible I journeyed as far as 100 miles to make a meeting. I stopped BSing my therapist. I kept myself well fed, well rested, & spiritually sound. I worked the Steps, some of them twice, three times. I woke up & prayed to my Higher Power every day. I read the book a LOT & found a Group 34 miles from my home that does nothing BUT Big Book study & went to those meetings when my job would allow it. I was blessed with a strong support group which I allowed to develop & grow & envelope more people.
In other words... I did the work. ( :
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Rooster Poot, Texas
Posts: 76
Here's something else I've seen happen~~
I drank at work. I am in LE. I got busted. I had an Intervention straight off a Lifetime B movie complete with cops, troopers, & Texas Rangers. I got my weapons taken away. When I got back from Rehab I faced a butt-load of recrimination & mistrust~~ all of my own making because for two years I had been the weak link, volatile, WHACKED & nobody knew exactly what was going on, they just knew I was imploding & there was no freaken way to stop me. I was hell bent on self destruction. I lied, used, manipulated, coerced, tricked, conned everybody around me, because you know, that's what we do, right?
I lost my job over this. I appealed because I had six months sober when they did it. i literally marched on Austin & faced a Colonel who has addicts in his family & was so disgusted with me he couldn't even make eye contact; the look on his face was the one you get when you step in dog poop & have to scrape it off. Pained. Revolted.
Somehow he saw something in me that made him give me a second chance~~ which I don't know of anyone in my position ever being granted. I was reinstated at my same pay & for the last 5 months I have been jumping through hoops, peeing in cups, writing recovery emails every single week detailing my progress & plans... & somewhere in there everyone began to realize that HEY! 10-96 ain't quite so 10-96* anymore. She's kinda fun to hang around at work with now. Trust got rebuilt. Relationships got repaired.
It's one of the side effects of sobriety & recovery~~ you start carrying your own weight & then some & people are glad to see you clocking in.
*10-96 = the ten code we use for a 'mental subject'. And it still fits because I'm still crazy... It's just SOBER crazy now.
I drank at work. I am in LE. I got busted. I had an Intervention straight off a Lifetime B movie complete with cops, troopers, & Texas Rangers. I got my weapons taken away. When I got back from Rehab I faced a butt-load of recrimination & mistrust~~ all of my own making because for two years I had been the weak link, volatile, WHACKED & nobody knew exactly what was going on, they just knew I was imploding & there was no freaken way to stop me. I was hell bent on self destruction. I lied, used, manipulated, coerced, tricked, conned everybody around me, because you know, that's what we do, right?
I lost my job over this. I appealed because I had six months sober when they did it. i literally marched on Austin & faced a Colonel who has addicts in his family & was so disgusted with me he couldn't even make eye contact; the look on his face was the one you get when you step in dog poop & have to scrape it off. Pained. Revolted.
Somehow he saw something in me that made him give me a second chance~~ which I don't know of anyone in my position ever being granted. I was reinstated at my same pay & for the last 5 months I have been jumping through hoops, peeing in cups, writing recovery emails every single week detailing my progress & plans... & somewhere in there everyone began to realize that HEY! 10-96 ain't quite so 10-96* anymore. She's kinda fun to hang around at work with now. Trust got rebuilt. Relationships got repaired.
It's one of the side effects of sobriety & recovery~~ you start carrying your own weight & then some & people are glad to see you clocking in.
*10-96 = the ten code we use for a 'mental subject'. And it still fits because I'm still crazy... It's just SOBER crazy now.
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