Where am I at?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Sweden
Posts: 22
Where am I at?
Hey people.
Not sure what to write. Been on here before about this... I was more or less like "I want to quit but don't feel like it". It was on some other name though (under a nowdays deleted e-mail).
Anyhow. At the moment i'm not sure where I'm at. It feels like things are going up and down alot. Still sometimes it feels like a pattern. Like when I drink and feel like getting sober to a 100%, it can last for a couple of days. But it's like as soon as my body is running out of poisons I need more, or else I can't focus properly at work. Same thing over and over.
I've felt very depressed for a good while. Sometimes it has been good though. At the moment I haven't felt down for a couple of weeks. Which is awesome I guess. But I'm still drinking. And I'm guessing the depression is coming back any day now.
I am still not 100% sure why I started drinking in the first place. Maybe I wasn't completely happy with myself. Maybe it was because an era had ended, and I knew that I had to go out to the grown-up mature life (even if I didn't feel ready). Probably both. I was 20 when I started "for real" i guess. Things got worse last year though when my dad passed away. I've been drinking pretty heavily since then. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I'm 22 years old at the moment, turning 23 in november.
I know I want to and should quit. I just don't know how to convince myself enough to actually do it.
Anyhow... Writing this is hopefully a good start atleast.
Thanks for reading.
Regards, Nitram.
Not sure what to write. Been on here before about this... I was more or less like "I want to quit but don't feel like it". It was on some other name though (under a nowdays deleted e-mail).
Anyhow. At the moment i'm not sure where I'm at. It feels like things are going up and down alot. Still sometimes it feels like a pattern. Like when I drink and feel like getting sober to a 100%, it can last for a couple of days. But it's like as soon as my body is running out of poisons I need more, or else I can't focus properly at work. Same thing over and over.
I've felt very depressed for a good while. Sometimes it has been good though. At the moment I haven't felt down for a couple of weeks. Which is awesome I guess. But I'm still drinking. And I'm guessing the depression is coming back any day now.
I am still not 100% sure why I started drinking in the first place. Maybe I wasn't completely happy with myself. Maybe it was because an era had ended, and I knew that I had to go out to the grown-up mature life (even if I didn't feel ready). Probably both. I was 20 when I started "for real" i guess. Things got worse last year though when my dad passed away. I've been drinking pretty heavily since then. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I'm 22 years old at the moment, turning 23 in november.
I know I want to and should quit. I just don't know how to convince myself enough to actually do it.
Anyhow... Writing this is hopefully a good start atleast.
Thanks for reading.
Regards, Nitram.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Nitram
Welcome back
Well you know already you'll find support and advice here - have you ever tried rel life support as well, like AA or SMART or counselling?
I really think it was support that made the difference for me - on my own it was easy to convince myself I wasn't worth saving, or it wasn;t worth trying, or even that I had no problem at all....bringing other people into the equation changed the dynamic and helped me move forward
D
Welcome back
Well you know already you'll find support and advice here - have you ever tried rel life support as well, like AA or SMART or counselling?
I really think it was support that made the difference for me - on my own it was easy to convince myself I wasn't worth saving, or it wasn;t worth trying, or even that I had no problem at all....bringing other people into the equation changed the dynamic and helped me move forward
D
....Welcome back Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Re:Where am I at?
Welcome Back...Nitram.
Never stop believing in yourself; We won't...why should you. One of our greatest allies is...Hope. So, keep hoping for a miracle until you become one yourself.
~God bless~
Never stop believing in yourself; We won't...why should you. One of our greatest allies is...Hope. So, keep hoping for a miracle until you become one yourself.
~God bless~
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