Let me hang with you all this spring.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 28
Let me hang with you all this spring.
Hi, my name is Chris, and I am an alcoholic. I'm not very good at telling stories or writing, so just bare with me while reading my story. My story starts out like many do on my 21rst birthday in 2007. I legally bought my first alcohol and proceeded to down every one. As time went on, I started to experiment with other drinks (most notably vodka which would become my drink of choice). It went from having a drink every once and awhile to drinking every day.
To make matters worse, I lost my job (more than likely due to alcohol) and being unemployed can get boring so I decided to drink more and more. That's when it got bad and I think that's also when I became an alcoholic. Finally, I found another job but continued drinking. It would get bad sometimes and even to point where I would get drunk so bad I would blackout and wake up in a puddle of urine. I would constantly have to my check my phone to make sure that I didn't drunk dial someone or get on my social network to make sure I didn't make a fool of myself. Sometimes, I did and I would end up regretting it. One story in particular was one night I was so depressed that I went bar hopping to three bars and then went home, called one of my friends crying, and then passed out on the porch stairs. That one haunts to this very day even though it was (almost) three years ago.
I also gained at least 30 pounds and that was most likely due to the fact that I was drinking like a whale and also taking depression medicine that was supposed to help me gain weight. I'll also throw in my hung over trips to McDonalds at three in the morning. 190 lbs is the biggest that I have ever been.
I know that it put a lot of strain on my family also. I go into fights with my family, and I have to thank them for not throwing me out or calling the police or something. They probably should've used the tough love one me but they didn’t. While I never to meant to, I know it embarrassed them and hurt them and I hope one day they will forgive me.
Anyway, in January of 2009, I quit drinking. I was very proud of myself. What got me to quit? A woman came into the place that I work with liquor on her breath and smelling like a house bar. I started to lose weight, however, I lost to much weight and eventually got to 122lbs and I had to go to the hospital.
I found out that I was type 1 diabetic. I don't know what caused it. Diabetes doesn't run in my family. Was it the alcohol? Depression pills? The sudden weight gain? I don't know and I probably never will.
I stayed clean for over a year but I was promising myself that I one day I would get to reward myself with a drink. Skip to July 2010, I started to get weighed due to the fact that I was trying to rebuild my social life but nothing seemed to work so I turned to the bottle again. Again, at first it was once every few weeks, but it eventually turned into every few days. Everything returned from the wetting in the bed, the drunk texting, getting on social networks and saying crazy things. As I sit here, I’m hoping that I didn’t do anything stupid last night.
And here I am now. I keep telling myself that I've got to quit but for some reason but the itch comes back and before you know it, I'm drinking vodka straight out of the bottle. Of course, this also ends up in regret.
As of now, I am quitting once again. I'll get to the cigarettes eventually (did I mention that I was a pack a day smoker to?) but for now, I find this to be the more pressing matter. I've been reading some of your stories, and it's good to know there also others out there fighting the good fight for recovery.
To make matters worse, I lost my job (more than likely due to alcohol) and being unemployed can get boring so I decided to drink more and more. That's when it got bad and I think that's also when I became an alcoholic. Finally, I found another job but continued drinking. It would get bad sometimes and even to point where I would get drunk so bad I would blackout and wake up in a puddle of urine. I would constantly have to my check my phone to make sure that I didn't drunk dial someone or get on my social network to make sure I didn't make a fool of myself. Sometimes, I did and I would end up regretting it. One story in particular was one night I was so depressed that I went bar hopping to three bars and then went home, called one of my friends crying, and then passed out on the porch stairs. That one haunts to this very day even though it was (almost) three years ago.
I also gained at least 30 pounds and that was most likely due to the fact that I was drinking like a whale and also taking depression medicine that was supposed to help me gain weight. I'll also throw in my hung over trips to McDonalds at three in the morning. 190 lbs is the biggest that I have ever been.
I know that it put a lot of strain on my family also. I go into fights with my family, and I have to thank them for not throwing me out or calling the police or something. They probably should've used the tough love one me but they didn’t. While I never to meant to, I know it embarrassed them and hurt them and I hope one day they will forgive me.
Anyway, in January of 2009, I quit drinking. I was very proud of myself. What got me to quit? A woman came into the place that I work with liquor on her breath and smelling like a house bar. I started to lose weight, however, I lost to much weight and eventually got to 122lbs and I had to go to the hospital.
I found out that I was type 1 diabetic. I don't know what caused it. Diabetes doesn't run in my family. Was it the alcohol? Depression pills? The sudden weight gain? I don't know and I probably never will.
I stayed clean for over a year but I was promising myself that I one day I would get to reward myself with a drink. Skip to July 2010, I started to get weighed due to the fact that I was trying to rebuild my social life but nothing seemed to work so I turned to the bottle again. Again, at first it was once every few weeks, but it eventually turned into every few days. Everything returned from the wetting in the bed, the drunk texting, getting on social networks and saying crazy things. As I sit here, I’m hoping that I didn’t do anything stupid last night.
And here I am now. I keep telling myself that I've got to quit but for some reason but the itch comes back and before you know it, I'm drinking vodka straight out of the bottle. Of course, this also ends up in regret.
As of now, I am quitting once again. I'll get to the cigarettes eventually (did I mention that I was a pack a day smoker to?) but for now, I find this to be the more pressing matter. I've been reading some of your stories, and it's good to know there also others out there fighting the good fight for recovery.
Always glad to see a new family member joining our recovery family.
I hope we can help you as much as this site has helped me.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 323
Welcome Chris glad to have you here. Are you a guy? I just want to say, your story reminds me so much of my own. I am almost 30 and your story is just like mine I mean exactly.
I too did not have my first drink until I was 21. I rarely tell people this. I was a huge dork and socially maladjusted as a teen. An ugly duckling as a kid, I made a lot of changes in my life. I consider myself good looking today.
The first time I drank alcohol.. not counting those times my dad let me have a sip of his wine at the italian restaurant as a kid.. I got insanely drunk. I mean could not get off the floor, throwing up in a pot drunk. I had never had alcohol before and drank my first drink like it was kool aid or something. Straight liquor. I had problems ever since then. My social circle tried to make it manageable by discouraging me in those days. I too have lost friends and jobs. Let me tell you.. it just keeps repeating the cycle if you don't quit. You make more friends, you lose them. You get a job, you lose it. The job thing is different for every alcoholic. I know an alkie that makes six figures but his work people have accepted his drinking. He has had 5 duis. I resent the alkies that are proud to have had the work thing under control because I never did.
Anyway back to you. I drank because I was not very confident as a teen. I was not very big for a guy. I didn't like how i looked. Today I lift weights. I whiten my teeth. I dress nice. I style my hair. I am almost to the point of vain about my appearance. As a teen, I weighed 125 lbs. Today I weigh 180 and I really like how I look. The working out thing is different for everyone. Some people are 300+ lbs and perfectly happy. If so more power to them, I've met some really nice people who are up there in weight. But if you are like me, and you don't feel like yourself when you aren't in shape, you feel awkward in your own skin when you aren't in shape, then maybe you should make some changes. If you want to talk workouts or AA or anything just message me or reply to a post i'd be happy to talk.
I too did not have my first drink until I was 21. I rarely tell people this. I was a huge dork and socially maladjusted as a teen. An ugly duckling as a kid, I made a lot of changes in my life. I consider myself good looking today.
The first time I drank alcohol.. not counting those times my dad let me have a sip of his wine at the italian restaurant as a kid.. I got insanely drunk. I mean could not get off the floor, throwing up in a pot drunk. I had never had alcohol before and drank my first drink like it was kool aid or something. Straight liquor. I had problems ever since then. My social circle tried to make it manageable by discouraging me in those days. I too have lost friends and jobs. Let me tell you.. it just keeps repeating the cycle if you don't quit. You make more friends, you lose them. You get a job, you lose it. The job thing is different for every alcoholic. I know an alkie that makes six figures but his work people have accepted his drinking. He has had 5 duis. I resent the alkies that are proud to have had the work thing under control because I never did.
Anyway back to you. I drank because I was not very confident as a teen. I was not very big for a guy. I didn't like how i looked. Today I lift weights. I whiten my teeth. I dress nice. I style my hair. I am almost to the point of vain about my appearance. As a teen, I weighed 125 lbs. Today I weigh 180 and I really like how I look. The working out thing is different for everyone. Some people are 300+ lbs and perfectly happy. If so more power to them, I've met some really nice people who are up there in weight. But if you are like me, and you don't feel like yourself when you aren't in shape, you feel awkward in your own skin when you aren't in shape, then maybe you should make some changes. If you want to talk workouts or AA or anything just message me or reply to a post i'd be happy to talk.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I am a Type 2 diabetic ..I know it would quickly get out
of control if I were still drinking....
Have you checked with your doctor about how to safely de tox?
That's always a wise idea.
welcome to our recovery community
of control if I were still drinking....
Have you checked with your doctor about how to safely de tox?
That's always a wise idea.
welcome to our recovery community
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I think that you mayhave meant to say Type II diabetic??? Type one is usually dx'd in children???
at any rate the sugar in alcohol will wreak havoc with your blood glucose levels sending you into those dangerous spikes and lows.
i'm glad you found us, read a lot and post often to talk to people.
at any rate the sugar in alcohol will wreak havoc with your blood glucose levels sending you into those dangerous spikes and lows.
i'm glad you found us, read a lot and post often to talk to people.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by UniqueNewYork 
Welcome Chris glad to have you here. Are you a guy? I just want to say, your story reminds me so much of my own. I am almost 30 and your story is just like mine I mean exactly.
I too did not have my first drink until I was 21. I rarely tell people this. I was a huge dork and socially maladjusted as a teen. An ugly duckling as a kid, I made a lot of changes in my life. I consider myself good looking today.
The first time I drank alcohol.. not counting those times my dad let me have a sip of his wine at the italian restaurant as a kid.. I got insanely drunk. I mean could not get off the floor, throwing up in a pot drunk. I had never had alcohol before and drank my first drink like it was kool aid or something. Straight liquor. I had problems ever since then. My social circle tried to make it manageable by discouraging me in those days. I too have lost friends and jobs. Let me tell you.. it just keeps repeating the cycle if you don't quit. You make more friends, you lose them. You get a job, you lose it. The job thing is different for every alcoholic. I know an alkie that makes six figures but his work people have accepted his drinking. He has had 5 duis. I resent the alkies that are proud to have had the work thing under control because I never did.
Anyway back to you. I drank because I was not very confident as a teen. I was not very big for a guy. I didn't like how i looked. Today I lift weights. I whiten my teeth. I dress nice. I style my hair. I am almost to the point of vain about my appearance. As a teen, I weighed 125 lbs. Today I weigh 180 and I really like how I look. The working out thing is different for everyone. Some people are 300+ lbs and perfectly happy. If so more power to them, I've met some really nice people who are up there in weight. But if you are like me, and you don't feel like yourself when you aren't in shape, you feel awkward in your own skin when you aren't in shape, then maybe you should make some changes. If you want to talk workouts or AA or anything just message me or reply to a post i'd be happy to talk.
I too did not have my first drink until I was 21. I rarely tell people this. I was a huge dork and socially maladjusted as a teen. An ugly duckling as a kid, I made a lot of changes in my life. I consider myself good looking today.
The first time I drank alcohol.. not counting those times my dad let me have a sip of his wine at the italian restaurant as a kid.. I got insanely drunk. I mean could not get off the floor, throwing up in a pot drunk. I had never had alcohol before and drank my first drink like it was kool aid or something. Straight liquor. I had problems ever since then. My social circle tried to make it manageable by discouraging me in those days. I too have lost friends and jobs. Let me tell you.. it just keeps repeating the cycle if you don't quit. You make more friends, you lose them. You get a job, you lose it. The job thing is different for every alcoholic. I know an alkie that makes six figures but his work people have accepted his drinking. He has had 5 duis. I resent the alkies that are proud to have had the work thing under control because I never did.
Anyway back to you. I drank because I was not very confident as a teen. I was not very big for a guy. I didn't like how i looked. Today I lift weights. I whiten my teeth. I dress nice. I style my hair. I am almost to the point of vain about my appearance. As a teen, I weighed 125 lbs. Today I weigh 180 and I really like how I look. The working out thing is different for everyone. Some people are 300+ lbs and perfectly happy. If so more power to them, I've met some really nice people who are up there in weight. But if you are like me, and you don't feel like yourself when you aren't in shape, you feel awkward in your own skin when you aren't in shape, then maybe you should make some changes. If you want to talk workouts or AA or anything just message me or reply to a post i'd be happy to talk.
Originally Posted by CarolD
I am a Type 2 diabetic ..I know it would quickly get out
of control if I were still drinking....
Have you checked with your doctor about how to safely de tox?
That's always a wise idea.
welcome to our recovery community
of control if I were still drinking....
Have you checked with your doctor about how to safely de tox?
That's always a wise idea.
welcome to our recovery community
Thanks to everyone who commented. It's been one day since I was sober and we're now on day 2. Like someone said in their signature on this forum, every day sober is a victory.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Fandy
I think that you mayhave meant to say Type II diabetic??? Type one is usually dx'd in children???
at any rate the sugar in alcohol will wreak havoc with your blood glucose levels sending you into those dangerous spikes and lows.
i'm glad you found us, read a lot and post often to talk to people.
at any rate the sugar in alcohol will wreak havoc with your blood glucose levels sending you into those dangerous spikes and lows.
i'm glad you found us, read a lot and post often to talk to people.
I really like this forum. I'm a bit of a lurker, but if something catches my eye, I will definately reply.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I was also creeping towards type II diabetes that i couldn't control when I was downing 8-10 glasses of wine every day....glad to say things are much more normal for my poor body now.
and your normal energy should return without all the spikes from drinking....congrats on Day 2...we have all been there....
and your normal energy should return without all the spikes from drinking....congrats on Day 2...we have all been there....
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