UniqueNewYork

I drank for a lot of reasons, but recently as work has gotten bad enough to keep me up at night, I have to admit to myself I hid in that bottle to try to kill my emotions and escape. Thats just weakness and I never want to go back to that, but if I don't own it I can't learn from it and overcome it. If I sweep it under the rug and pretend I was always a tough John Wayne type drunk I would just be kidding myself. I too am also struggling with a family member who is toxic like some of the people on this site.

I have learned I only have the choices of either cutting them out of my life or only letting them participate in my life when they want to play nice. When they want to throw tantrums, lie and be manipulative, or behave in a controlling or abusive way, they don't get to be part of my life.

Anyway I know I can be a jackass at times, but I just needed to get that off my chest.

ZZworldontheweb

Try again man. It's not so much weakness as letting your thoughts get ahead of you. Try to restrain those negative emotions and don't let them carry you away.

Bikeguy

Don't be so hard on yourself, we can all be jerks from time to time. Try to look for the positives in life.

24hrsAday

i think we all have a Lot to work through as Recovering Alcoholics.. i have had to put my foot down about situations at work and with family several times this past couple years.. it's called being Assertive and taking care of myself! take it easy..

ClosetExtrovert

Yeah, I hid in the bottle, too. Then the bottle went away and POW! Feelings...everywhere....drama...irritating people...I can so relate. Anyway, going from a non-feeler to sensory overload kinda sucks, but it is doable. I white knucked it for a few months and then gave up and joined AA. I think AA helped a lot. And for the record, I don't think you're a jackass.

LaFemme

Boundaries are healthy In relationships...that's all that you are really doing with your family members. I know for me that has been a key to recovery having boundaries with my family. It doesn't make you a Jack ass to protect yourself