Linz

Well after a whole nineteen days of sobriety I caved and had that beer that I've been craving the whole time. I had four or so beers on Friday night and then some yesterday too...
I hate to reset the clock but that's what I've got to do.

Stang

Yea it sucks but that is what happens to most of us before we finally get our **** together. I look at it like this. what the hell am I gonna do with a "moderate" amount of beer anyway? I'll just be torturing myself and eventually start getting drunk again.

reggiewayne

Hi Linz. Welcome back. I have a question if you don't mind answering it. Was it worth it? I am being dead serious btw. I would like to know if all of the wait and anticipation were as good as we think it will be or was it not all it was cracked up to be? Did you experience tremendous ease and comfort drinking, or did it seem overrated? I'm just curious.

Thanks - and we're glad you're back.

UniqueNewYork

Hi Linz welcome back. I dont care that you drank really I'm glad nothing bad happened. I'm just happy you're here with us again. Many of us have been where you are. Over and over I have tried to stop only to pick up again. I've been trying to quit for years. I made some serious progress starting a year and a half ago as I got involved in AA. I made it to four months (120 days). This time I only have 59 days. There have been many other attempts by me where I made it one day, three days, a week, two weeks, etc. I have confessed to myself often that I would be homeless if I had not had people around me like my parents to catch my fall. Thats not even a speculation thats a fact in my mind. I would be homeless or dead. So I'm glad you are coming back. Don't give up before the miracle happens.

Linz

Reggie, it was worth it and wasn't at the same time. It was great while I was actually drinking the beer. Saturday morning made it seem as if it was not worth it in the least. I felt like I just flushed the entire 19 days down the toilet when in reality, I don't think that I did... Those 19 days were eye openers for me and they proved to me that I CAN go without drinking.
All in all though, the whole big picture, it wasn't worth it and that is why I'm going to try again on the sobriety. Gonna go for 20 days this time. And then hopefully 40, and then hopefully eternity lol
Thanks for your concern.

CarolD

Do you plan to do anything different ...more positive this time?
glad you are getting back on track....

cabledude

Imo, drinking again is a signal the alcoholic doesn't yet understand.

Easy to get the thought process going that this is a board game (4 more days and I'll pass Park Place, 6 more and I'll reach GO), but living continually sober is the only lifestyle an alcoholic can have that includes possibilities for experiencing joy.

Good luck on hitting 20 this time. If it doesn't work out, keep trying. Took me over 6 years of trying to stay sober to understand what I just told you. This is day 10573 for me, and I hope I'll continue to do what it takes to stay in this very unnatural state for an alcoholic. Not banking on eternity, although hitting 20k would be cool.

artsoul

It takes courage to post and also to recommit to sobriety - you are stronger than you know........:ghug3

Just remember, the longer you stay sober the better you'll get at it! If I don't keep my sobriety #1 each day (coming here helps me do that), everything else is in jeopardy.

Thanks for the post!

Fandy

I think that you are being cauteously optomistic....and who knows...when you hit your #20 day, I hope you feel SO GOOD, that you continue to not drink.

FrothyJay

Try treating your alcoholism, and not your drinking.

Creekryder

I've fell on my nose so many times in the past years, it's a wonder it still protrudes. Stand up, dust off, and keep walking.

SixStringZen

I don't know if I could do 20....but, I can do 1...

448 of them in a row, so far...Keep on, keeping on...

Linz

Thanks to all of you for your support, I can always, always, always rely on you all for it.