Linz

It has been a whole 18 days since I got off the drink. I haven't really felt that emotional about anything up until recently.
For the passed couple days I have started to notice things that sort of just "got swept under the carpet" while I was drunk or drinking. Most of it has to do with my relationship with my boyfriend.
He goes to band practice twice a week for 6 hours each night, comes back either semi-drunk or has had a couple drinks, (which is okay, he can control his drinking.) He comes back so stoned though, that when he lays in bed he just passes out completely. He has never asked me how my day was after coming home from a practice.
If he has a gig on Friday or Saturday night, he's gone extra long - from about 5pm 'til 3am. I never go to his shows because I usually just end up an outcast.

On the weekends he smokes weed before he even gets out of bed. He'll continue smoking all day long. He functions while high, but he just isn't himself if you know what I mean...
I used to be so jaded from this that I allowed myself not to pay attention. I would drink on nights that he was busy, and every other night.

I wonder what to do...

ClosetExtrovert

The early days sucked for me. My emotions were all over the place, and after all those years of not feeling anything, it was quite a shock. It's also perpetually low-tide in that all the water is gone and all you see is the crap all over the bottom. Not saying you don't have real issues with the BF. Things are a bit raw right now. Do you go to AA?

Linz

I do not go to AA, but have been wanting to.

DayTrader

It takes a while to "settle down," that's for sure. One of the good things about meetings is getting out of the house and actually meeting, in person, other ppl who "get" you. It's nice to post and read here - don't get me wrong. It's just that there's so much more when it's "in person."

Time will tell with the boyfriend. Maybe he'll change, maybe you will, maybe one of you will go looking for greener pastures.

I was dating a girl up until just abut a couple months before I had my last drink. I really loved her......she was awesome.....but she just doesn't fit into a life of sobriety for me. It's kinda sad too......we were pretty cool together.....but without the two of us partying like maniacs, our relationship just didn't seem to work.

Opivotal

Everything becomes clearer when we give up Alcohol. Some great feelings and some bad. The difference is we're sober and can make decisions from a clearer prospective. Like the blinders have come off. You'll figure out what to do in time Linz. Congratulations on 18 days!! Your doing great.


Best Wishes to You! :ghug3

CarolD

Hmm..
with sobriety I certainly out grew my past atraction to the
men who drank and drugged.
I was chageing ...making new friends who shared my goals ..moving forward...

They were not.
I've thrived...last I heard..they survived.

doggonecarl

It seems to me, from reading your post (rather than knowing you personally), that the person you are now, sober, is diverging from the person you were when you were drinking and when you met your boyfriend. The "new" you may not be compatible with the relationships the "old" you formed.

I can't tell you to break up. I can tell you that you probably won't be able to change your boyfriend's behavior. I can also tell you that being around someone who drinks and does drugs can impede your recovery. Not impossible, but possibly difficult due to resentments.

What's more important? Working on your recovery or working on your relationship?

I know what answer I want to give...but that is because this is a recovery forum, not a relationship forum <grin>.

Good luck