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Lost my best friend

Old 03-24-2011, 02:58 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hi DayWalker,
So sorry for your loss. Very sad. Of course you are not going to drink. Because Bob is with you now and always will be. If you drown him out with gargle, you will miss that.
Look around your circle, I bet there is a little baby about to be born. And for me, that is Bob coming back. Nobody dies without leaving someone in their place.
A young jockey died here recently, and just days later his cousin was born and then 2 other little babies in the neighbourhood. The circle of life. By the way, will you do the girls a favour and get out there! There is someone out there waiting to meet you and settle down. Maybe Bob stepped aside to leave you find your own way. You are ready to be able to fly now. You have done so well with sobriety, now share it with someone special. By the way, AA does not care when you last were there. Go to a meeting and get some face to face support and friendship.
Big squishy and annoying unmanly hugs to you from all of your friends here.
Bob
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Old 03-24-2011, 04:50 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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So sorry for your loss.

I like the idea of dedicating your sobriety to Bob. Kinda like an acknowledgement in your "book of life".

Hugs, I agree--get back with people. Don't stay by yourself. Even if it doesn't feel natural, even if you wanna curl up in a ball and make the world go away, make yourself get out there.

Hugs,
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Old 03-24-2011, 09:24 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I'm sorry for your loss Steve. Sending support your way. When I lost my best friend it was devastating to me. I still feel the loss. I believe people are put into your life for a reason. It wasn't a mistake. You learn and grow from this person. If they are taken away, you live your life from the lessons you learned from them. Your buddy will always be with you Steve. He's wanting you to live your life the best way you know how. Remember his love, his lessons, and his friendship.

I also know the feelings of sadness are immense. Unfortunately you will have to feel this. Blocking out these feelings by drinking will only prolong them. I'm sure you know this. I understand the wanting to drink, but knowing you won't. You just want the pain to go away.

Reach out to the people you love. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

:ghug3
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Old 03-24-2011, 09:43 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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I'm sorry to hear that. If it's who I think it is, then I know he meant a great deal.

A lot of what made my drinking gain the strength it did came out of bereavement and the issues left unresolved with those people. I shifted it all aside that way. I think that might be underneath your thoughts of drinking. It's been many years since my drinking started to go from a normal thing to "using," but to some extent I have revisited some of the bereavement over those people during my sober time this last year. If you were to dabble in it again, obviously the result would probably be going all the way and getting worse. And then the thing that sparked the appeal and propped itself up as a worthwhile excuse would probably sit there waiting for you to face it down the road.

I don't like asking people to choose pain, but it would make sense for someone who has experience in a drinking career, like you and me, to take it rather than to displace and put off life left for you. We easily think of saying so-and-so wouldn't have wanted this for me (drinking/misery) after they died. That's true. It's also true they would have wanted us to have our own life and to go on and not be bound to drinking, which doesn't bring us forward, only holds us back.

I think one of the things that must make you happy (even if it's a painful happy) is knowing that you got to spend time with him after your drinking stopped.
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Old 03-24-2011, 10:19 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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sending more prayers...thinking of you during this painful time
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Old 03-24-2011, 10:33 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I'm so sorry for your loss Daywalker.

I don't know you, but I'm going to assume that you have loved ones who depend on you and need you sober no-matter-what.

Kjell~
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Old 03-24-2011, 11:32 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
rode hard and put away wet
 
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I am sorry for your loss and your pain. Please take care of yourself and don't shortchange yourself on the grieving part of life. It will take some time.

Much love.
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Old 03-28-2011, 08:38 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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just wanted to say thanks to everyone for the thoughts.

I'm doing okay. Just seems rough now all alone, but doing okay I guess.

Steve
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Old 03-28-2011, 08:40 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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drop in more if you like Steve...it may help you feel a little less alone on one level?

D
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Old 03-28-2011, 08:51 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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I'm okay Dee ..appreciate ya asking though. Just rough now being all honest/alone. But such is life I guess.
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:57 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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hang in there buddy,

proud of you standing tall no matter how hard it is. time will make it better.

hugs and prayers.
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Old 03-31-2011, 01:16 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by DayWalker View Post
Hey guys, been a while. I've somewhat been around, been reading but not posting much. Anyway...

Monday my best friend (only 58 yrs old) died suddenly of a massive heart attack. He's been by buddy/best friend for the past 10-11 yrs.

I've been sober for about 1 1/2 now....but the past 2-3 days I honestly have had thoughts about drinking again. I'm not stupid, I know it won't bring my buddy Bob back, but just being honest with you all.

Just kind'a in a fog the past few days. Could use a bit of help please.

Steve
I had alot of upsetting things happen in the last few days. I too, thought about drinking. I think I thought I would escape it all.

I called a sober woman friend from AA and shared my master plan.

She said, "That's not a good enough excuse."

She added that I have always come up with excuses to drink in the past and there are no more excuses.

I stayed sober.

A drink...who are we kidding...a drunk won't solve a thing.

Sorry to read of the loss of your friend. I am sure it is sad.

I think when we are sad, or in fear, or mad, or frustrated...our mind will tell us to escape with drink.

I look forward to the day this leaves me.
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Old 04-01-2011, 09:39 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Re: lost my best friend.


My condolences, Daywalker, on the passing of your friend. We are here to support you and offer up words of encouragement in your hour of need.

The death of an anyone is never in vain. The prospect of losing a member of our extended family is always painful but in no way coincidental. The reasons behind our struggles in life and in death still remain a mystery but the message of hope and freedom will continue on -despite our losses.

What is important though, other than remembering him as he would like us too, is allowing the message of hope and the prospect of continuous sobriety bring a smile to the sick and suffering alcoholics who need hear this message -All done, of course, in your friends memory- one day at a time.

~God Bless~



"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies".
~The Shawshank Redemption~
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