Keep Sabatoging Myself
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 8
Hey man,
I've had very similar thoughts as well. I often wonder why I do this to myself. It's almost like I view my life (at least as of recently) as some sort of sick joke and that I'm doomed. It seems like I give myself more things to agonize over so it makes me able to feel even more self-pity and self-loathing. When I feel good I get worried because I know I am fragile. When I am feeling low, pissed off, and angry is when I am most comfortable, as sick as that sounds. I relish feeling like I've had the rug thrown out from me because it removes lots of responsibilities I should have in my life at that time.
I am a young guy (25) but I've enjoyed a lot of success and positivity in my life but in the past year things have gotten out of hand and it's like I am completely aware of it too. I watch myself every week continually ruin things in my life, physically/emotionally/etc. I have a suggestion for you and although it may seem a bit silly, it could work. Don't type but hand-write a letter to yourself explaining how crappy you feel right now and that next time you have something important the next day look at it and remember the sensation. My friend's mom is a tactile/sensory therapist and it totally works. You'll remember and hopefully it will sway you from doing it. I sometimes look at pictures of myself when I've been wasted and that I am so ashamed of but it helps me to not do it so often. That being said, I still have my own issues to deal with on a daily basis so I'm not trying to be self-righteous at all; just offering a suggestion.
Take it easy dude.
Nick
I've had very similar thoughts as well. I often wonder why I do this to myself. It's almost like I view my life (at least as of recently) as some sort of sick joke and that I'm doomed. It seems like I give myself more things to agonize over so it makes me able to feel even more self-pity and self-loathing. When I feel good I get worried because I know I am fragile. When I am feeling low, pissed off, and angry is when I am most comfortable, as sick as that sounds. I relish feeling like I've had the rug thrown out from me because it removes lots of responsibilities I should have in my life at that time.
I am a young guy (25) but I've enjoyed a lot of success and positivity in my life but in the past year things have gotten out of hand and it's like I am completely aware of it too. I watch myself every week continually ruin things in my life, physically/emotionally/etc. I have a suggestion for you and although it may seem a bit silly, it could work. Don't type but hand-write a letter to yourself explaining how crappy you feel right now and that next time you have something important the next day look at it and remember the sensation. My friend's mom is a tactile/sensory therapist and it totally works. You'll remember and hopefully it will sway you from doing it. I sometimes look at pictures of myself when I've been wasted and that I am so ashamed of but it helps me to not do it so often. That being said, I still have my own issues to deal with on a daily basis so I'm not trying to be self-righteous at all; just offering a suggestion.
Take it easy dude.
Nick
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