How about an update eh?
One moment at a time.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 213
How about an update eh?
Alright so most of yall who know me around here know that I went back out a few months ago... First off I want to say that it doesn't get any better... Unfortunately I had to find that out first hand and the hard way.. I damn near lost my career over going back out. Gratefully I did not and didn't get any horrible repercussions from it.
Secondly I went out for 3 main reasons. 1: I was holding on to things some small some large and wasn't being too honest with myself while working the steps and with my sponsor. 2: I got complacent, reaaaally complacent. I didn't call my sponsor, I waited for him to call me, and I gradually quit going to meetings and sharing, and when I had things that I needed to get off my chest, I would just bottle it up instead of talking about it with another drunk. 3: I lost pretty much all contact with a Higher Power in which I call God. I didn't pray, and I began to doubt his existence in my life.
Today I am 46 days sober (again lol) and I am feeling better and more confident then when I was 9 months sober the last time around. I have things that I have accepted and let go of that really hindered my sobriety and recovery. I talk to other newcomers and give them my insight, and I call my sponsor on a daily basis. We have been going through the steps and man has this time around been different. My 4th step inventory was like 3 pages long compared to the half page I put out the last time around. On top of that I am ready and completely willing to begin a process of making amends to those I feel I can do right now. Also I am not worrying about tomorrow, or the next year when I leave the military. I am only thinking about now, this moment, because if I don't I can become rather indifferent about everything.
So I guess to sum it up, today I am doing great, I can honestly tell myself at night before I pray and go to bed that I am extremely happy to be sober and that it feels good. Also that the program of recovery that I am working (AA) really does work IF YOU PUT IN THE WORK TO DO IT. I didn't do all the work I had to do the last time around and look what happened.. I went back out. The steps themselves are not suggestions, the steps as a whole are a suggested program to recovery which I dearly needed to comprehend begin this process again and on the right track.
So again I'd like to thank everyone that were praying for me and who sent me private messages while I was going out, I really do appreciate the support, and I know the only way for me to pay it back to each of you is to continue working on myself in this manner so that I can do for others what you guys did for me! THANKS!!!
Secondly I went out for 3 main reasons. 1: I was holding on to things some small some large and wasn't being too honest with myself while working the steps and with my sponsor. 2: I got complacent, reaaaally complacent. I didn't call my sponsor, I waited for him to call me, and I gradually quit going to meetings and sharing, and when I had things that I needed to get off my chest, I would just bottle it up instead of talking about it with another drunk. 3: I lost pretty much all contact with a Higher Power in which I call God. I didn't pray, and I began to doubt his existence in my life.
Today I am 46 days sober (again lol) and I am feeling better and more confident then when I was 9 months sober the last time around. I have things that I have accepted and let go of that really hindered my sobriety and recovery. I talk to other newcomers and give them my insight, and I call my sponsor on a daily basis. We have been going through the steps and man has this time around been different. My 4th step inventory was like 3 pages long compared to the half page I put out the last time around. On top of that I am ready and completely willing to begin a process of making amends to those I feel I can do right now. Also I am not worrying about tomorrow, or the next year when I leave the military. I am only thinking about now, this moment, because if I don't I can become rather indifferent about everything.
So I guess to sum it up, today I am doing great, I can honestly tell myself at night before I pray and go to bed that I am extremely happy to be sober and that it feels good. Also that the program of recovery that I am working (AA) really does work IF YOU PUT IN THE WORK TO DO IT. I didn't do all the work I had to do the last time around and look what happened.. I went back out. The steps themselves are not suggestions, the steps as a whole are a suggested program to recovery which I dearly needed to comprehend begin this process again and on the right track.
So again I'd like to thank everyone that were praying for me and who sent me private messages while I was going out, I really do appreciate the support, and I know the only way for me to pay it back to each of you is to continue working on myself in this manner so that I can do for others what you guys did for me! THANKS!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 194
Thank you for this post. Those three things you mentioned are pretty much what I'm going through now. I'm trying to get back into it, but its been hard. I'm not going to give up though. Thanks for reminding me that it doesn't get any better and thanks for reminding me what I"m doing wrong. It's funny, for me, I know I"m doing those same three things that you described. 1) Holding onto things, 2) becoming complacent; and 3) not communicating with my Higher Power (very important one).
I've put people first AGAIN. And then that takes me back to the first problem HOLDING ON TO A RESENTMENT. Thank you so much for your experience. I pray you stay strong and that I do too. Thanks again.
I've put people first AGAIN. And then that takes me back to the first problem HOLDING ON TO A RESENTMENT. Thank you so much for your experience. I pray you stay strong and that I do too. Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
I have a huge resentment! I can't stop thinking about this Be@tch and what she is doing.
I want to beat the snot out of her!
Welcome back Green, sometimes we need the last go-around. But you reminded me of a few things. I didn't know you had gone out, sorry. It is hard to keep track. I think people are just gone off for a while, or moved on.
I want to beat the snot out of her!
Welcome back Green, sometimes we need the last go-around. But you reminded me of a few things. I didn't know you had gone out, sorry. It is hard to keep track. I think people are just gone off for a while, or moved on.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
GREEN!! So good to hear from you Mister! Ghostly and I check with each other every now and again to see if we have heard anything. So glad you came back in! And that you are doing well. Stick with us Mister!!! Be happy. Be sober.
Yay!!!!! Congratulations on 46 days - and thanks for the inspiring post!
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