How to make them understand i don't mean it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 125
How to make them understand i don't mean it.
It is not me. I keep making real big mistakes by talking lies when drunk, usually to make my sad little life seem like I have more to it that I do. Recently I have gone through a spat where I have been using sleeping pills, after a couple of weeks I am now aware they have done some real mental damage, put me back a few years.
Thing is I don't drink every day, or every other day even, but I get to a boiling point and then I need a drink and I will drink until I pass out, usually this does not happen though and I can drink continuously without sleep for a few days. I did this last week on top of sleeping pills and ended up phoning my family, and even some of my parents friends and work colleagues in the middle of the night. God knows what I said, it wouldn't have been aggressive as I've never been aggressive drunk, just pathetic. I will have said some silly untruths about something.
How on earth can I explain this and still make them understand I need support and not anger. I know the reaction will be anger towards me, make me feel even worse than I do. I am living on a timebomb right now as each day it is just a matter of time before they hear about it, or someone phones them to see if I'm ok.
It is killing me, I really outdone myself this time, like big style.
Thing is I don't drink every day, or every other day even, but I get to a boiling point and then I need a drink and I will drink until I pass out, usually this does not happen though and I can drink continuously without sleep for a few days. I did this last week on top of sleeping pills and ended up phoning my family, and even some of my parents friends and work colleagues in the middle of the night. God knows what I said, it wouldn't have been aggressive as I've never been aggressive drunk, just pathetic. I will have said some silly untruths about something.
How on earth can I explain this and still make them understand I need support and not anger. I know the reaction will be anger towards me, make me feel even worse than I do. I am living on a timebomb right now as each day it is just a matter of time before they hear about it, or someone phones them to see if I'm ok.
It is killing me, I really outdone myself this time, like big style.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Drinking and sleep aids are dangerous to mix.
Read the lable on the sleeping med bottle please.
What are you doing to stop drinking?
You don't have to be a daily drinker to have problems>
.
I too was a blackout drinker...the good news is...they stopped
iimmediately as soon as I quit.
hope you soon find a better sober life...
Read the lable on the sleeping med bottle please.
What are you doing to stop drinking?
You don't have to be a daily drinker to have problems>
.
I too was a blackout drinker...the good news is...they stopped
iimmediately as soon as I quit.
hope you soon find a better sober life...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
I don't think there's any such thing as a get out of jail free card, SM.
One of the things I had to learn, and it was a hard lesson, is whatever I did when I was drunk hurt people, and they had a right to be to feel hurt.
Regardless of whether I was in a blackout or not thinking right, or whether my intentions were not bad ones, I believe I have to own the responsibility for my actions.
It took a while for people to forgive me and trust me again - and some still haven't, and that's their right.
Telling people I was going to change, or that I didn't mean it?
Meaningless to the people in my life after the first half dozen times, I'm afraid.
The only way I regained that good will was by action - getting sober and staying that way, so that the change was obvious.
and yes, I'm with Carol - mixing booze and meds is dangerous Scrub.
D
One of the things I had to learn, and it was a hard lesson, is whatever I did when I was drunk hurt people, and they had a right to be to feel hurt.
Regardless of whether I was in a blackout or not thinking right, or whether my intentions were not bad ones, I believe I have to own the responsibility for my actions.
It took a while for people to forgive me and trust me again - and some still haven't, and that's their right.
Telling people I was going to change, or that I didn't mean it?
Meaningless to the people in my life after the first half dozen times, I'm afraid.
The only way I regained that good will was by action - getting sober and staying that way, so that the change was obvious.
and yes, I'm with Carol - mixing booze and meds is dangerous Scrub.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 125
Pheoaww, is so much easier to pick up a drink and make myself not care about the effect on others. As I seem to have done my entire life to erase my embarrassment.
I've been a week, almost to the hour since my last drink, and this final episode that appears to have effected my guilt more than ever before. I'd like to face this and continue to two weeks, if I can bury my head somewhere till this blows over.
I've been a week, almost to the hour since my last drink, and this final episode that appears to have effected my guilt more than ever before. I'd like to face this and continue to two weeks, if I can bury my head somewhere till this blows over.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Rural OK
Posts: 329
Yes, It is easier to pick up that drink than it is to realize the damage and hurt it causes to us and the
ones we care about. That is why so many people like us die of alcohol related diseases without ever
recovering! It takes hard work and determination to stop the destructive cycle of alcohol abuse. The
good news is that it CAN be done- people beat it every day! It means that YOU decide; (not that you are
going to stop drinking, that means you can resume it later on) rather you decide you are never going to
drink again for the rest of your life! WOW, that’s a tough one, but not near as tough as the misery and
shame that drinking brings, or the hurt it causes to you and those around you!
The choice is YOURS—no one else’s. You picked up that first drink and you are the one that has to put it
down! I wish you the wisdom to make the right choice!
ones we care about. That is why so many people like us die of alcohol related diseases without ever
recovering! It takes hard work and determination to stop the destructive cycle of alcohol abuse. The
good news is that it CAN be done- people beat it every day! It means that YOU decide; (not that you are
going to stop drinking, that means you can resume it later on) rather you decide you are never going to
drink again for the rest of your life! WOW, that’s a tough one, but not near as tough as the misery and
shame that drinking brings, or the hurt it causes to you and those around you!
The choice is YOURS—no one else’s. You picked up that first drink and you are the one that has to put it
down! I wish you the wisdom to make the right choice!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Minus the sleeping pills...I couldve wrote this. I used to get drunk and LIE LIE LIE. Oh man! Alcohol made me everything that I thought I wasnt. The main one being INTERESTING! I cant really offer advise since i am a broken person too. But I suggest you talk to someone face to face. AA meeting, preacher, councelor, doctor....The guilt and embarrassment SUCK real bad! Im still feeling it. My sponsor says "pray it away" Im trying! I know you can do this too!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 432
It's true, picking up a drink is a really easy way to switch off one's problems. Until one's liver starts to go, and the withdrawal symptoms get so bad that one can't function without some liquor inside. Then it starts going down hill real fast.
Are you getting any help with this? AA or counseling or something?
Are you getting any help with this? AA or counseling or something?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
I couldn't make them understand me any more than they could make me quit my addictions. That's the news flash. There IS a solution that can bring about an entire psychic change, too, but it takes honesty, openness, and willingness.
Lies are part of the package. Doesn't make it right, but until HONESTY becomes the foundation for living a different kind of life, the disease will progress.
If you want to drink that's your business. If you want to stop, AA can help.
Lies are part of the package. Doesn't make it right, but until HONESTY becomes the foundation for living a different kind of life, the disease will progress.
If you want to drink that's your business. If you want to stop, AA can help.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
Title of your thread: How to make them understand I don't mean it.
Well, you quit drinking and change. You can't make anyone understand anything, but you can show them a different person. Eventually, that new person will replace the one they're seeing/hearing now.
As long as you're drinking, yes, it is. I remember pleading with those I'd hurt or just plain irritated with my drinking: I didn't mean it. It's not me. It was the booze talking. That didn't matter, because the words came out of my mouth, the actions from my body. "It is not me" didn't cut it.
Take responsibility. Whatever it will take for you to not pick up a drink (for me, it was AA -- not just sitting in a meeting, but taking the actions laid out in the book with the help of a sponsor), the only way I know how to deal with those I've angered is to amend my behavior, first in general (by not drinking) and then directly (once I've confronted the truth about myself).
You're in a place that many of us have been. You don't have to stay there.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Well, you quit drinking and change. You can't make anyone understand anything, but you can show them a different person. Eventually, that new person will replace the one they're seeing/hearing now.
Originally Posted by Scrubmuncher 
It is not me.
How on earth can I explain this and still make them understand I need support and not anger.
You're in a place that many of us have been. You don't have to stay there.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Newfoundland
Posts: 145
One of the things I had to learn, and it was a hard lesson, is whatever I did when I was drunk hurt people, and they had a right to be to feel hurt.
Regardless of whether I was in a blackout or not thinking right, or whether my intentions were not bad ones, I believe I have to own the responsibility for my actions.
Regardless of whether I was in a blackout or not thinking right, or whether my intentions were not bad ones, I believe I have to own the responsibility for my actions.
Waking up every morning with a full recollection of the night before makes it all worthwhile. There is nothing worse then waking up and having no idea what happened the night before. It cripples your self esteem and self worth. And it hurts others. It's a life of chaos; I prefer the quiet life I am living now. 79 days sober today
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by Scrubmuncher
How on earth can I explain this and still make them understand I need support and not anger.
Originally Posted by Sugah
Well, you quit drinking and change.
Keep coming back!!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Let's put it in REAL simple terms.
Somebody hits you in the face, then says, "How can I make you understand I need your support, and not your anger?"
What would you tell him? Maybe that you don't particularly CARE what he needs, but that he better quit hitting you in the face?
Somebody hits you in the face, then says, "How can I make you understand I need your support, and not your anger?"
What would you tell him? Maybe that you don't particularly CARE what he needs, but that he better quit hitting you in the face?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 270
Originally Posted by Scrubmuncher
Pheoaww, is so much easier to pick up a drink and make myself not care about the effect on others. As I seem to have done my entire life to erase my embarrassment.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 125
Back fired on me, nowhere to live now, phwooa, what more!!
As mentioned in my other threads, I have been going mad over waiting for my family to find out I was out if control last week and involved their friends, and our family at 3 and 4 am in the morning.
So I decided to tell them I wasn't sure what I had said to people but I think I phoned a lot of people dribbling on about how terrible my life was, well, that's what I imagine I would be ranting about, I'm really not sure.
I told them to try to release this pressure that has been with me all week, before I do something stupid to help myself cope.
Long to the short, they can't handle living like that, they are old and have decided I have to go, in the morning. I have nowhere to go and no money as such, no friends and no family that have enough faith to be bothered with me, I've burnt all my bridges a long time ago.
So I'm screwed!
Anyone dealt with anything like this, know what I can do.
So I decided to tell them I wasn't sure what I had said to people but I think I phoned a lot of people dribbling on about how terrible my life was, well, that's what I imagine I would be ranting about, I'm really not sure.
I told them to try to release this pressure that has been with me all week, before I do something stupid to help myself cope.
Long to the short, they can't handle living like that, they are old and have decided I have to go, in the morning. I have nowhere to go and no money as such, no friends and no family that have enough faith to be bothered with me, I've burnt all my bridges a long time ago.
So I'm screwed!
Anyone dealt with anything like this, know what I can do.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
I'm not in the UK but I know the Salvation Army is always a good place to go until you work out a more permanent arrangement.
http://www1.salvationarmy.org.uk/uki...256F1900533E0A
Here's some more links - I hope they help
Emergency housing - Shelter England
Emergency accommodation in London England
Homeless UK : Find the help you need
Shelter's Free Housing Advice Helpline
Phone
0808 800 4444 freephone
D
http://www1.salvationarmy.org.uk/uki...256F1900533E0A
Here's some more links - I hope they help
Emergency housing - Shelter England
Emergency accommodation in London England
Homeless UK : Find the help you need
Shelter's Free Housing Advice Helpline
Phone
0808 800 4444 freephone
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,503
Scrubmuncher,
It is really hard to live with the fallout of the messes we create when we drink. As you are finding out, sometimes we can't fix things, no matter how much we want to. Use this opportunity to move forward with your life. You don't have to go through this again. You don't have to go further down than you are. You can pick up the pieces and move forward, but you need to stop drinking and begin to recover.
It is really hard to live with the fallout of the messes we create when we drink. As you are finding out, sometimes we can't fix things, no matter how much we want to. Use this opportunity to move forward with your life. You don't have to go through this again. You don't have to go further down than you are. You can pick up the pieces and move forward, but you need to stop drinking and begin to recover.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 125
I'm considering putting myself into the looney bin in the morning. I've been in before when I cut my finger off and a couple of other times through being insane in general. It would be an out for the instant, just get me out of this second. I can't continue on this level I've been on for the week, I haven't drank for a week as I've been so unstable I haven't even been able to see anyone or do anything.
Maybe it is a cop out, but I really do think if I end up in a hostal tomorrow, alone with nothing but a blanket and a crazy head I could quite easily damage myself, I don't think I can cope with this drama right now, I need a break.
Maybe it is a cop out, but I really do think if I end up in a hostal tomorrow, alone with nothing but a blanket and a crazy head I could quite easily damage myself, I don't think I can cope with this drama right now, I need a break.
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