Manz

I thought that by becoming sober, and facing up to where my drinking had brought me would have an instant effect on improving my life. How foolish was I.

I am at 65 days sober today, and since becoming sober I have been made redundant, lost a couple of good friends(well I thought they were good friends, but couldn't handle the truth about me), am about to move out of my home because I can no longer afford it. I am unable to support my son for the immediate future due to no job and am having to move in with a family member so I can do so.

I am a 40 year old professional woman who has always, always been able to look after herself, so finding my self at this lowest of low is at the same time humiliating as it is heartbreaking. And all of this after becoming sober.

I have been sorely tempted the last few days to pick back up again...but what I have learned is this.... no one single drink will be enough and drinking will never ever again help anything. I am thankful to be sober and able to face all of this with a clear head.

I am aching with the pain of my situation, I am sadder than I have been in a very long time, and it is killing me.

But at the same time, I am getting f2f support, and it is helping me find the great and wonderful woman that has always been there. It is helping me to deal with my demons and realise...well hope... that my future will be bright..eventually.

Dee74

I dunno what is is about this year but so many of us seem to have our backs to the wall right now.

I'm really proud of you Manz for grasping the essential truth - drinking does not help, it simply makes the cess pool deeper....

Sobriety may not be a magic wand (I thought that too) but it's the difference between drowning and treading water for me...I know when the lifeboat comes I'll be ready to climb in and be little the worse for the experience

Here's hoping you get a turn around soon - I'll be barracking for ya
Lean on your mates till then

D

Jackie36

Manz - I was exactly where you are at a few years ago. I am 43. I am a professional. Lost everything, had to start completely over. I understand completely what you are feeling at this moment. I have a now 19 year old daughter. Everyone had, had it with me. I was at my lowest.

What I can tell you is this. Work hard at everything, give 150% to your sobriety first, your child second, finding your self, self worth, and work. You will get back there, I promise things will get better!

I went from a high paying job, lost it, all my posessions, and started from square one. I applied everywhere, hours spent doing that week after week. I had to totally humble myself and get into a company at low pay. I have been sober 2 1/2 years, and in that time. I have been promoted twice, into mgmt. I have my daughters respect, she is now in college and we have the best relationship! I have my finances in order, credit is improving, and actually saving money!! I am hoping to buy a house within a year.

I was able to take care of my terminally ill father, who passed away in August, and take care of his business afterwards.

What I hope comes across in this, is in a very short period of time, I have so much! It does get better. The promises do come true! Let time happen, and work hard at it!

I wish you all the best
Jackie

artsoul

I think I know a bit of what you're going through. I almost lost my house last summer after being sober for a couple months and was living on credit cards. I've always been able to provide for my children as a single mom and for the first time I had to rely on my elderly parents for help.

For many months there was nothing but questions - what to do, should I move, get another job, etc....... (at 58 years old, you don't want to be asking those questions)

I had to take everything one day at a time.... it was overwhelming otherwise. But 7/8 months later, I'm starting to see the results of all the effort I put in during that time, something that wouldn't have been possible without sobriety.

Call on that inner strength and keep positive. Who knows, it might be the start of something even better than you can now imagine. And you still have your son and he has you.

GettingStronger2

Manz,

I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I know how hard you have worked to get where you are, and what a wonderful person you are. Do not lose sight of that through the difficult time. Imagine how much more difficult this all would be if you were still drinking.

you can do this. Maybe you need to look at the path you are traveling for sobriety, and make a few adjustments.

You have friends and support here. Keep your chin up. Go roll down that grass hill and be a kid again.

love you!

Stevie1

Manz...as others have said, this has been a tough, tough time for many people....I don't know what the economy is like in NZ but where I live it's truly awful. I've struggled for the last few years financially, and I have two friends who've lost jobs, houses and a whole lot of confidence and self esteem.

You sound really wise, despite what you are dealing with right now...hugs and continued strength to you!

horsebox606

Light is darkest just before the dawn. From somewhere a little glimmer of hope will appear for you, maybe when you least expect it, and it will grow bigger, better, and brighter. Its the tough times such as these that you need to slog through and bear, but remember always keep your chinup!!!

NobleCause

Sorry to hear of your struggles. There was a point in my life a few years ago where I lost everything in a very short period period of time, felt like the rug had been pulled clear out from under me. My future outlook seemed positively hopeless, and I felt/was completely ineffectual & helpless. It killed me to rely on others but I had no other choice and nowhere else to go. It's a difficult place to be in, and when you're in it, it's hard to imagine things will ever get better, or that there'll ever be another carefree day in the cards. Things will get better tho and doubtless there are sunny days in store for you if you stay the course.

Congratulations on your sober time, and your commitment to sobriety in spite of all of this. It's no small feat. Wishing you peace and strength in the meantime.

Toronto68

It's true that the sobriety doesn't necessarily carry with it an automated magic. But it's the freedom we asked to have back, for good or ill. Sometimes it feels like going from taking the escalator to taking the stairs (while carrying too much luggage). Keep going for the person inside.

gravity

IMO, this is the key. Getting support and being patient.

There will always be storms in life. You will develop the inner strength to maintain some degree of serenity during these tough times. In the past, we used alcohol to hide from our problems. Instead, you will be able to work through them.

That's what AA and counselling have given me. Despite the difficulties in my life, I am able to maintain a high degree of calm & patience.

CarolD

Hope things smooth out soon for you..
well done on your sober time despite life's difficulties.

all my best to you and your son.