exhausted and afraid of relapse
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
exhausted and afraid of relapse
well I had my evaluations today and passed with flying flags 9,8,9 out of possible 9,9,9, so my life in my job clearly improved. After this I got today into work and worked till now from 6am this morning. I had some succesful and some unsuccesful approaches today. I am feeling exhausted. My problem is I have a similar day coming up tomorrow starting from 6am and I knew previously these stress situations caused me to relapse and grave alcohl. So what would you suggest to do? I am currently thinking if I should cancel some of the meetings even they seem necessary and start to relax tomorrow and go to work once I feel better. I am just afraid I will be working tomorrow and afterwards go straight to the liquor store to shut my brain off. I did this before.
Anybody was in such an situation? What would you recommend I do
Anybody was in such an situation? What would you recommend I do
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Work is important yes...and I'm glad you got high scores...
For me...recovery means I neeed to keep a balance
how many hours are you spending on your sobriety?
For me...recovery means I neeed to keep a balance
how many hours are you spending on your sobriety?
On my way....
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 326
Good job on your scores SASA, that's really awesome!!
I absolutely know what you mean by shutting your brain off to rest. I haven't figured this out either, I feel mentally very tired, not used to having to actually think all the time, and fighting the urges aren't helping matters. So I, too, am interested in responses. So far, I just get on here every chance I get and read, read, and then do some more reading.
I absolutely know what you mean by shutting your brain off to rest. I haven't figured this out either, I feel mentally very tired, not used to having to actually think all the time, and fighting the urges aren't helping matters. So I, too, am interested in responses. So far, I just get on here every chance I get and read, read, and then do some more reading.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: The Great White North, eh? Beauty.
Posts: 159
I've been going through the same kind of thing lately. Walking after work has become an absolute lifesaver. I can feel like total crap when I walk out the door and 40 minutes later that 'tearing my hair out' feeling is gone. I read somewhere that if you want to improve your mood the length of the walk is more important than the physical effort you put into it - I think that's true.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Have you heard of HALT?
Don't allow yourself to become overly
Hungry-Angry-Lonely-Tired
I also added an S for Sad...as depression was why I desired to quit.
I made it into HALTS...
Each time I returned to drinking..at least 2 of those elements were in place.
Don't allow yourself to become overly
Hungry-Angry-Lonely-Tired
I also added an S for Sad...as depression was why I desired to quit.
I made it into HALTS...
Each time I returned to drinking..at least 2 of those elements were in place.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: South Australia
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by CarolD 
Have you heard of HALT?
Don't allow yourself to become overly
Hungry-Angry-Lonely-Tired
I also added an S for Sad...as depression was why I desired to quit.
I made it into HALTS...
Each time I returned to drinking..at least 2 of those elements were in place.
Don't allow yourself to become overly
Hungry-Angry-Lonely-Tired
I also added an S for Sad...as depression was why I desired to quit.
I made it into HALTS...
Each time I returned to drinking..at least 2 of those elements were in place.
that's a really handy thing. i'm going to try to remember that!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
Thank you all for your suggestions. I am back at work. Ia ctually feel okay. Only negative thing is that I just got a request to do a business dinner tonight at somebodys private house. I know how these things end. They have tons of Booze there. I am trying to wiggle myself out of this. I will try to get for a walk at lunch time to get rid of stress and then hopefully tonight again. I am just praying please god don't let me relapse. I brought apples, bananas and all kind of healthy food with me today to eat during the day to prevent the Hungry part. Not so sure what I can do about the angry and sad part, since I am sure some of my coworkers will pull my triggers today as they did yesterday.... So far no craving, hanging in there.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hang in there SASA and keep reminding yourself that alcohol isn't going to help anything.
It doesn't help with the stress - that's only one of its false promises. It just adds more stress (messes with our sleep, makes us ill, sets up the cravings again, etc. etc.). Maybe you can set some boundaries, learn a few yoga poses, treat yourself better....... or go to counseling....... Maybe you need to take it easy this weekend or get busy doing something you'd enjoy.....(?)
It sounds like your first response to discomfort is still to think about that drink. I know that feeling, and it's a really hard place to be. I'll be praying for you. Put yourself and your sobriety first today and you can get through this!!!!! Congrats on the great scores!!
It doesn't help with the stress - that's only one of its false promises. It just adds more stress (messes with our sleep, makes us ill, sets up the cravings again, etc. etc.). Maybe you can set some boundaries, learn a few yoga poses, treat yourself better....... or go to counseling....... Maybe you need to take it easy this weekend or get busy doing something you'd enjoy.....(?)
It sounds like your first response to discomfort is still to think about that drink. I know that feeling, and it's a really hard place to be. I'll be praying for you. Put yourself and your sobriety first today and you can get through this!!!!! Congrats on the great scores!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
Well lunch time, I am having brussels sprouts and sausage, very helthy (it is checken sausage). I have at the moment no craving for a drink that is good. After lunch I planed going for a walk to calm down. I have only 4 more meetings (2h each) and a potential business dinner. I emailed saying I am not attending dinner unless the company really needs me there, since it was on short notice. Hope I can wiggle myself out of it. So So far so good.
Artsoul, yes the drinking is ingraved in me I know that, however I also know my triggers and what can potentially get me back to drinking, so I guess my thoughts are really how can I be more proactive, especially if I cannot change the situation I can change how I react to it. So whenever somebody is negative to me today, I make a joke and laugh out loud, that changes the atmosphere and my mood. I am reflecting the negative energy. It worked so far. Also just popped more B vitamin pills. So I hope this will help me to go out tonight home and just exercise my butt of and not under any cicumstances stop at the liquor store.....
Artsoul, yes the drinking is ingraved in me I know that, however I also know my triggers and what can potentially get me back to drinking, so I guess my thoughts are really how can I be more proactive, especially if I cannot change the situation I can change how I react to it. So whenever somebody is negative to me today, I make a joke and laugh out loud, that changes the atmosphere and my mood. I am reflecting the negative energy. It worked so far. Also just popped more B vitamin pills. So I hope this will help me to go out tonight home and just exercise my butt of and not under any cicumstances stop at the liquor store.....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
well it is almost 6pm. It looks like I am off the hook. Going home to exercise. I really want to thank you all for helping me stay sober. Looks like I survived my trigger and will go home for a nice relaxing walk and shower
Good for you SASA! I hope you have a relaxing and renewing weekend. Remember: you're worth it! Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
Hi Everybody, thank you so much. I survived. It is saturday morning, I feel tired but I am so grateful that I did not drink. Thank you all, I am not sure if I would ahve survived without the support of SR. I learned a lot though. I am planing ot go skiing tomorrow to relax.....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Re:Exhausted and afraid of relapse
Thanks SASA for your share....
I felt grateful and humbled after reading your story and I thank you for that. What I learned from this encounter, which I do believe others should as well, is not only your willingness to persevere through this difficult ordeal but your steadfast determination to "Never Give Up" regardless of the circumstances.
You obviously, have a passion for professionalism and are gifted not just in your current position with your employer but in others areas as well. God, I feel, will use your talents to accomplish many things in life; like teaching others about honesty, willingness and perseverance.
I suggest you take a break from the stresses of your profession to enjoy some quiet time with good friends. If your schedule seems to hectic, then allow yourself the privilege of a much needed break to calm your nerves. Then... refocus your attention on what is truly important -your sobriety one day at a time.
The say in Alcoholics Anonymous "When the student is ready to learn, his teacher will appear" -How True. You have learned from this experience and now can teach others, about the very things some of us choose to ignore: the honesty and integrity associated with becoming responsible and how crucial they are to maintaining our sober demeanor -one day at a time.
~God bless~
I felt grateful and humbled after reading your story and I thank you for that. What I learned from this encounter, which I do believe others should as well, is not only your willingness to persevere through this difficult ordeal but your steadfast determination to "Never Give Up" regardless of the circumstances.
You obviously, have a passion for professionalism and are gifted not just in your current position with your employer but in others areas as well. God, I feel, will use your talents to accomplish many things in life; like teaching others about honesty, willingness and perseverance.
I suggest you take a break from the stresses of your profession to enjoy some quiet time with good friends. If your schedule seems to hectic, then allow yourself the privilege of a much needed break to calm your nerves. Then... refocus your attention on what is truly important -your sobriety one day at a time.
The say in Alcoholics Anonymous "When the student is ready to learn, his teacher will appear" -How True. You have learned from this experience and now can teach others, about the very things some of us choose to ignore: the honesty and integrity associated with becoming responsible and how crucial they are to maintaining our sober demeanor -one day at a time.
~God bless~
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
MrD, yesterday was the one of my scareist days. I was so afraid to relapse. I knew stress is a big trigger for me and I was so exhausted, I had the choice to call in sick, but that would have been not fair to the others and I felt like running away. I am turning myself away a lot of times latly from situations, whenever I get into an argument if it is not absolutly necessary I just let go and walk away and think whatever, same with situations, if I cannot do something useful just let go. It turns out letting go is a beautiful exercise. I keep asking in my mind in any situation, whatever I do will it help the other person, the situation or me and if the answer is no, I will not act and jsut stand by. A lot of times I just start hinking about my cats or osme other beautiful things, flowers etc and let the other peson go on and on. I nod my head and say I feel sorry you feel this way, so acknowledge them and then just walk away.... I am surprised it works. I started really to pick my fights and even if I have to fight I will say things that I think need to be done and if they do not get done, then I just deal with the situation either to my boss say according to the email I sent you I told you about it but you did not react or for the people I advice I give them a warning, report them or point out very clear the conseuqneces if this happens again. It turns out it works very well.... Before I always went with my head torugh the wall without even looking if there would be door close by. Well I spent the day woth my cats and it is beautiful out there, I bought flowers today to lighten up my house
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Thanks SASA...
SASA…you right about one thing, letting go is a beautiful exercise and one I can relate too.
I can also relate to the frustration you feel at your job, especially when dealing with people. I have to delegate authority at my job as well and what can frustrate me the most is when they don’t want to do their job and others suffer as a result. I do understand their frustrations too, but we all have a job to do, so persevere and do your part -regardless.
Some people, like us, are more grateful and take on the responsibilities associated with our jobs more seriously than others. The problems arise when people don’t perform for various reasons, like you said, and cause others to do more than their fair share, time and time again. I guess what irks me the most is when they give you a condescending look, like it’s your fault –when we know it’s not.
You took the right approach by informing your boss about the situation and then let go… Sometimes it’s important to pick your battles, like you said, and knowing when to do so is crucial. Sometimes you have to state the facts, let go, and then let God takeover instead- like you did. Great Job............
Restoring proper balance to our lives is the key here, like you said, because as you know our sobriety is on the line; One day at a time and sometimes one moment at a time.
Keep up the good work...never give up on yourself...we won't, either should you.
~god bless~
SASA…you right about one thing, letting go is a beautiful exercise and one I can relate too.
I can also relate to the frustration you feel at your job, especially when dealing with people. I have to delegate authority at my job as well and what can frustrate me the most is when they don’t want to do their job and others suffer as a result. I do understand their frustrations too, but we all have a job to do, so persevere and do your part -regardless.
Some people, like us, are more grateful and take on the responsibilities associated with our jobs more seriously than others. The problems arise when people don’t perform for various reasons, like you said, and cause others to do more than their fair share, time and time again. I guess what irks me the most is when they give you a condescending look, like it’s your fault –when we know it’s not.
You took the right approach by informing your boss about the situation and then let go… Sometimes it’s important to pick your battles, like you said, and knowing when to do so is crucial. Sometimes you have to state the facts, let go, and then let God takeover instead- like you did. Great Job............
Restoring proper balance to our lives is the key here, like you said, because as you know our sobriety is on the line; One day at a time and sometimes one moment at a time.
Keep up the good work...never give up on yourself...we won't, either should you.
~god bless~
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