OklaBH

I found out my nephews 1st birthday party is Saturday and I'm not invited. I'm very upset. Things like this make me want a drink REAL bad.

Sugah

It takes time, and if your drinking has affected the decision to leave you out, one thing is for sure: drinking isn't going to help the situation. Most of us didn't lose trust overnight. Be patient, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and allow those around you time to see that you've changed.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Reset

Yeah drinking isn't going to get you invited, and it's likely to make sure that the invitations won't be coming soon in the future either.

Sorry that happened though. I can imagine it stings. I hope that you can keep the sobriety streak going so that in the future you can make amends.

OklaBH

I'm not going to drink. I'm just going to be sad for awhile.

Zube

Sucks.

Don't drink.

Send your nephew a wonderful gift, get to an AA meeting.

But don't drink.
Zube

OklaBH

I goto 3-4 meetings a week. I don't drink. Doesn't matter.

Sugah

Well, yes, it does matter. I looked at your profile. About two and a half months sober? That's a tough time, and feeling the impact of our "wreckage" hurts. In addition to those 3-4 meetings, are you working with a sponsor? Calling other women in the program? Praying?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Fandy

it's hurtful to be specifically excluded from family gatherings. If you were invited and decided not to go, it's your decision, but to be shut out by your family from a big event is hurtful.

give it some time....i hope things change. How did you find out about the gathering if you weren't invited?

Stimmed

Good Q

If it were me id go, but with a plan B ready ('real' friends you can go see if you get the boot). The courage it took to turn up, i would use to hold my head up if i was turned away. Sure id be hurt, but i tried, and you gotta start somewhere. So id take a breath and think, 'oh yeah Sobriety, where was i', and carry on forward.
If you turn up you win either way, because your character is credited in both instances.
Continuing your Sobriety after a knock back tho, means even more.

Just a (tried) thought :-)

Dee74

It does matter OklaBH...this is your life and your future you're working for, and as much as I know you love your nephew, all that is way more important than a birthday party.

If the people excluding you now are any kind of reasonable people (and I remember the backstory) they will see, or hear about how you're getting your life together and working really hard...and their attitude should, I hope, change.

It just may take some time for that to happen - we can't set the timetable for others to forgive us or trust us again.

You're doing all the right things.
Stay focused and keep thinking about all the things you have in your life you're grateful for.

D

OklaBH

Yes I have a sponsor and pray. My dad told me about the party. I realize I'm an alcoholic but I'm tired of being treated like a leper.

Stimmed

Could you ask your Dad if he thinks it would be ok u go, some idea perhaps?

Opivotal

Yeah, I know its very hurtful OklaBh. I understand your sadness. The only thing we can do is continue to do our best. Hopefully the rest will fall into place in time. We think people will automatically forgive us for out past behavior. Sometimes it just takes a bit of time to go by. Chin up and keep doing what your doing.

Best Wishes to You :ghug3

SSIL75

I think it's closer to a month.

Okla - I'm so sorry your hurting. The balance was hard for me, too. You don't want to spend your days hating yourself for your mistakes but you don't want to dismiss them, either. The best I have to offer is 'trust in the process'.

gravity

Be patient. Nobody invited me anywhere at first. Now I host most of our family gatherings!

SSIL75

I would caution against this, personally.

Supercrew

Do you really want to go? Or are you just upset you weren't invited?

You couldn't pay me to go to a 1 years old's bday party. In fact I question the sanity of people who throw parties and invite people to such events. The child never remembers and normally the person throwing the party is just looking for gifts.

Doesn't sound like a big loss to me, but it always sucks feeling left out. Go doing something fun instead.

OklaBH

No Im not going to impose. Not wanted...not going

OklaBH

HAHAHA that is so true! OMG that is funny. I love my nephew and would love to see him and see my family celebrate such an important milestone. Truth is being excluded is what really kills me. Its very hurtful.

OklaBH

Almost 1 month sober. I tried on my own in January and relapsed twice. Since going to AA I havent drank. Im almost at a month sober. I called my sponsor and she was awesome. Basically she said if God wants that relationship for me he will present it in his time. I just have to be patient and keep doing what I have been doing. In time my family (if they arent to drunk) will see me changing and things might be different. Time will tell.

My sponsor said I have new sisters in AA now "sobriety sisters" HAHAHA she is so cute!