Take the cotton out of your ears....
Awakening...
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: in the present
Posts: 1,125
Originally Posted by JohnBarleycorn 
I've heard it. As a general rule, I ignore anyone, old-timer, new-timer, mid-timer, or otherwise, who uses any of the sophomoric "thought-stopping" slogans.
You know the ones.
If someone is brain-dead, they are brain-dead. "Time" changes nothing.
- JBC
You know the ones.
If someone is brain-dead, they are brain-dead. "Time" changes nothing.
- JBC
My sponsor once said there are some people who learned AA on a barstool. She sure is right about that!
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
This is somewhat a side note but it took me awhile to even understand what was meant by "your best thinking got you here" -- that it means you don't know anything if you ended up here, that it's a dig. Deciding to recover was the bravest thing I did -- it WAS good thinking, and it was open mindedness that led me to try aa. I was aware that I really had no clue how to live without alcohol -- Completely aware of my ignorance, flailing in it desperately. To be told this at my first meeting -- which I was, but like I said, it took me awhile to get it -- was a total turn off. For those of you in aa, don't assume that just be because you may have witnessed newcomers who thought they had it all figured out doesn't mean they all feel that way. Like the person in bull dog's terrifying story, some people are totally lost and know it. They dont need anything bullied out of them.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Hollywood, FL
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by LaFemme
Actually he sounds like someone who is mentally ill and needs help.
The meeting got on with helping one another stay sober, once he had taken his seat and settled down.
Oh, and he did reek of beer. I've seen him in the rooms since once or twice. Sometimes appearing sober, sometimes not. But that is neither here nor there, I suppose. It could be worse than being drunk, he could have a wet brain I suppose.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Merritt Island, Fl
Posts: 1,164
Originally Posted by AmericanGirl
This is somewhat a side note but it took me awhile to even understand what was meant by "your best thinking got you here" -- that it means you don't know anything if you ended up here, that it's a dig.
Dig this...Every decision I made was wrong. I had absolutly no idea how get sober. I entered the rooms a total mess. If it wasnt for others showing me how to recover I never would have figured it out on my own. Even the ones I didnt like started to make sense once I realised I didnt "know everything" Really I have never met anyone who came into AA/NA because life was just wonderful. Just sayin...
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by AmericanGirl
.....it took me awhile to even understand what was meant by "your best thinking got you here" -- that it means you don't know anything if you ended up here, that it's a dig.
What it means is that prior to whatever events that led up to one seeking sobriety and/or AA, odds are they were running their own life as best they could, as best as they were able, according to what made sense, etc. They were, as basically everyone on the planet does, calling the shots as to what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and so forth in their life.
If, by some series of events, you've ended up at your first AA meeting, one thing's almost a guarantee: the past year hasn't been chock-full of good times, successes, and happiness. Odds are, one hasn't been on a winning streak.
So....looking back..... all those things that "happened in your life"..... did they all get forced on you, did someone make all your decisions for you and the drinking/bad experiences were all the result of what happens when someone else is running your life for you......... OR........... were you in charge of your life and running it the best you could? For everyone I'VE ever run into, they were in charge over the past year (or years) - in other words, they were running their own life as best they could...... yet here they are - just like me - sitting in AA wondering what the heck happened?
So......if me, running my own life, trying the best I can, sometimes having some success and somtimes having some failure had the end result of me sitting in an AA meeting........ it's pretty safe to say that it was MY thinking and MY running of my own life that led me to turning up in AA. That's where the "first requirement" to the 3rd step comes in with: "The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis, we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good."
It's absolutely NOT a dig...... not in the slightest. It is, more than likely, an unfortunate statement of fact for me and every alcoholic of my type. At the end of the day, it's actually a statement of hope......but that's only covered in, like, AA 202 class.
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Day Trader, that explanation helps me understand one interpretation for that saying -- the emphasis on "your" -- is the idea being that God's best thinking would not have gotten me there, but that my own -- becuase I was "in charge of my own life" did. I didn't consider that interpretation, so thanks. Still, I find it a little oxymoronical considering I did choose to attend AA, but maybe some would think I did not make that choice on my own (if they believed in divine intervention).
I was basing my interpretation on the meaning of that phrase based on how I've seen it used here and how it was used in Mary Karr's memoir (she is an AA person). But, I like your interpretation better, and I will keep that in mind when I hear it again, so thanks. I mean that sincerely.
I was basing my interpretation on the meaning of that phrase based on how I've seen it used here and how it was used in Mary Karr's memoir (she is an AA person). But, I like your interpretation better, and I will keep that in mind when I hear it again, so thanks. I mean that sincerely.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
My best thinking DID get me to that jumping off point - my life was hellish yet I couldn't fathom a life without alcohol.
I minimized the impact that my drinking was having on those close to me. I convinced myself that I wasn't an alcoholic, that next time would be different. I wouldn't listen to my friends & co-workers, all telling me I had a drinking problem. I tried every method to control my drinking with zero success. I was going to work drunk, going on benders and leaving my then wife and kids alone for days, spending $600-$1,000 on each bender, drinking with violent people, drinking & driving...etc. But still, what problem?
Complete delusion. My best thinking.
I needed help. Thank God I at least realized that.
And quite honestly, I've never heard anyone say "your best thinking got you here" or Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth" with any malice. It's usually applied to oneself or said in a teasing way. In our local program, everyone is very welcoming of newcomers, always acknowleged and encouraged to "keep coming back".
After three years of AA meetings, I can honestly say I have only met a handfull of people I would consider rude. One of the greatest things about AA meetings is that you are in a room full of people who know exactly what you are going through. And they have a solution!
A lot of physically, mentally, and sexually abused people walk through those doors. A lot of hurting people. There is tons of compassion and empathy in AA.
I minimized the impact that my drinking was having on those close to me. I convinced myself that I wasn't an alcoholic, that next time would be different. I wouldn't listen to my friends & co-workers, all telling me I had a drinking problem. I tried every method to control my drinking with zero success. I was going to work drunk, going on benders and leaving my then wife and kids alone for days, spending $600-$1,000 on each bender, drinking with violent people, drinking & driving...etc. But still, what problem?
Complete delusion. My best thinking.
I needed help. Thank God I at least realized that.
And quite honestly, I've never heard anyone say "your best thinking got you here" or Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth" with any malice. It's usually applied to oneself or said in a teasing way. In our local program, everyone is very welcoming of newcomers, always acknowleged and encouraged to "keep coming back".
After three years of AA meetings, I can honestly say I have only met a handfull of people I would consider rude. One of the greatest things about AA meetings is that you are in a room full of people who know exactly what you are going through. And they have a solution!
A lot of physically, mentally, and sexually abused people walk through those doors. A lot of hurting people. There is tons of compassion and empathy in AA.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
My experience with all that... "Your Best Thinking" and all... I interpret it now, for me, as the need to rigorously re-evaluate my thinking, take inventory, change what needed to be changed... not everything qualified, though some things did, some I didn't think so at first...
Had I been overly offended or defensive, I might not have been so rigorously honest with myself.
Had I been overly offended or defensive, I might not have been so rigorously honest with myself.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by AmericanGirl
Still, I find it a little oxymoronical considering I did choose to attend AA, but maybe some would think I did not make that choice on my own (if they believed in divine intervention).
.........by default, that would mean some/most/everyone didn't "choose" to go to AA.....they were driven to it due to the elimination of all other alternatives. .......yet another way to consider it.
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Originally Posted by AmericanGirl
Day Trader, that explanation helps me understand one interpretation for that saying -- the emphasis on "your" -- is the idea being that God's best thinking would not have gotten me there, .
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
My Best Thinking.
My decision making was corrupted in such a way that it favored alcohol use above all other thoughts. Helpful thoughts about the safety of others or myself were shoved aside so that I could continue to consume alcohol. In other words my thinking wile in active addiction was not an example of high quality thought processing....LOL.
The idea that I needed to change my way of living...now that was some of my best thinking.
My decision making was corrupted in such a way that it favored alcohol use above all other thoughts. Helpful thoughts about the safety of others or myself were shoved aside so that I could continue to consume alcohol. In other words my thinking wile in active addiction was not an example of high quality thought processing....LOL.
The idea that I needed to change my way of living...now that was some of my best thinking.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by stugotz
How bout "too much thinking" The horse is dead. Just sayin...
funny, that someone who ends EVERY post with the same saying is calling a different horse dead - just sayin'
Originally Posted by Kjell
We truly can learn from everyone.
This thread is living proof
Kjell~
This thread is living proof
Kjell~
jk Kjell.....u know yer my boy!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I have removed 3 posts that Dee was speaking about
however this topic has run it's course and will remain closed.
Let's all go find someone who needs our support
and go share our experiences with them...
That does not mean your opinion about other members.
Thanks!
however this topic has run it's course and will remain closed.
Let's all go find someone who needs our support
and go share our experiences with them...
That does not mean your opinion about other members.
Thanks!
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