Funny things you've heard in a meeting
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 323
Funny things you've heard in a meeting
One of my favorites:
"If my life were a book it would be called How To Lose Friends And Alienate People"
I think this topic is ok as long as we protect the anonymity of the contributors.
"If my life were a book it would be called How To Lose Friends And Alienate People"
I think this topic is ok as long as we protect the anonymity of the contributors.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
i don't think i'll ever forget this one....it was one winter when a new guy walked into my home group about 10 years ago after driving his car through someone's living room. he was in the AA meeting from a court order and didn't believe he had a problem. his blood alcohol content was more than 4 times the legal limit.
when asked about why he didn't think he had a problem, the guy sat back with a straight face and said...(keep in mind he was driving in a residential neighborhood where 25mph was the legal speed limit)
"look guys, i've taken that turn at 80+mph when i had 6 more beers in my system..i had to have hit a sheet of ice or something because i don't think i was even going 60mph at the time"
when asked about why he didn't think he had a problem, the guy sat back with a straight face and said...(keep in mind he was driving in a residential neighborhood where 25mph was the legal speed limit)
"look guys, i've taken that turn at 80+mph when i had 6 more beers in my system..i had to have hit a sheet of ice or something because i don't think i was even going 60mph at the time"
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I didn't personally hear this one, but it was quoted to me and I think of it often:
"Were entirely ready to have God remove these defective characters."
I can think of a few defective characters I'd like "removed"....
"Were entirely ready to have God remove these defective characters."
I can think of a few defective characters I'd like "removed"....
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The Trenches, Texas
Posts: 778
I heard this come out of my own mouth at an early meeting, I was at a BB study, we were in We Agnostics. I proceeded to tell the group how there was no God, lectured on atheism, you know, stuff like that. I was rudely interrupted and asked to be quiet. I began to share again anyway and was told to just sit there and don't say anything, they will get with me after the meeting. Yup, that was me at my very best.
I'm trying to try.
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: CT
Posts: 113
"It's very encouraging to see people my age in meetings and even chairing them...but that's not to say all you old people aren't cool too..."
That was what I said the first time I ever shared in a meeting. All the "old people" cracked up and were like, "ouuuuuuch, that hurt!"
That was what I said the first time I ever shared in a meeting. All the "old people" cracked up and were like, "ouuuuuuch, that hurt!"
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Can't recall the topic, but this guy was talking about being newly sober. . .he was a musician and his band was playing at a bar. They were on a break and he was sitting up at the bar drinking his coffee. He was looking at the bottles neatly lined up in front of him behind the bar. On the top row, he said he saw a bottle of tequila he had never tried before. Then he thought to himself, "I am probably the only one in here who is looking at that bottle as a single use container."
Thought that was pretty funny and accurate.
Thought that was pretty funny and accurate.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 139
Originally Posted by Justfor1 
This one old timer use to joke that you can be honest when you share because the rest of the alcoholics aren't even listening their just thinking about their comment. 
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
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A brief exchange at the 1st step table, a lot of court ordered mainly young people at this meeting.
Kid, asked if he'd 'care to share'
"I'm good"
The old timer: "If you're good whattaya doing here"?
Kid, asked if he'd 'care to share'
"I'm good"
The old timer: "If you're good whattaya doing here"?
I'm trying to try.
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: CT
Posts: 113
"One night I was drinking Heineken at the bar as usual. On the way home I smashed my car into a telephone pole. I was fine, but the car was crumpled. A few days later I was back at the bar and I thought to myself, man, I drank Heineken and crashed my car. I'm never drinking Heineken again since it gets me in so much trouble. I'll just switch over to Budweiser and drink that from now on. Problem solved!" :rotfxko
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