gravity

Gawd, imagine it from your boyfriends perspective. Hanging out with a girl who is wasted is really embarrasing. And then all whiny and hungover the next day? Ugh..nice vacation memories.

I have been on countless vacations and to special events that I ruined because of my drinking - not just for myself but for others. Always come home exhausted and hating myself.

But since I sobered up (December 2007) I have taken all kinds of trips. Incredible memories!

Have fun!

Supercrew

I was trying to quit last March, before I found SR, and I took the family on a cruise. I was not going to drink, until they were handing out a free beverage, (they called it the drink of the day), 5 shots of assorted stuff with an umbrella in it.

Long story short, I found out after the first one they cost $10, which was billed to my room. I happened to slip away from my wife and went to the casino with my older son about 8PM. The rest of the night and the next day was a blur, my wife abandoned me on ship the following day and took off to the port with my younger son so I could sleep it off. The bill for the night before was slipped under my door while I slept, and my wife found it when she arrived back about 5 PM with me still drunk and sleeping. She woke me up to let me know that I had a $220 bar tab, and I lost $1500 on the poker table....and I don't remember a damn thing.

It was supposed to be a sober inexpensive cruise for the family, and I struck out on all accounts. I am still embarrassed about it to this day, and I guess my older son had to come down and find me in the ships casino at 3AM, and I fell down and puked on the way back to my cabin. Drinking will never be in my vacation plans again. (My wife is still pissed and that was a year ago).

elfgirl

I was thinking about this last night while I was in the shower (the only quiet time I seem to get). It's so difficult to completely avoid alcohol. I mean, there are TV ads, print ads, bars and liquor stores everywhere, my favorite restaurant has 4-course dinner specials that include a bottle of wine. It's like it's always right there, in my face, a constant reminder that I can't have any.

Whine, whine, whine. So not fair! My thought process continued:

You know what else I like that's everywhere? Chocolate. Really good, high cacao content dark chocolate. So what if tomorrow I found out that I had a potentially deadly allergy to chocolate? Would I waste any time thinking about how unfair it was that everyone else could have a cup of hot cocoa after going sledding? Would I sit here and justify why it would be okay to have just *one* strawberry dipped in the chocolate fondue because, wow, it's only one and I've eaten one before without having a bad reaction? Would I wonder if I could switch brands and maybe be okay with the Lindt chocolate instead of the Hershey's? Would I be upset and dwell on it that I had to pass on the birthday cake at the party? Heck no!!! I might miss the taste, but I would stop eating chocolate because my life is worth more than that.

I've got to get my head around it that alcohol is potentially deadly for me, and that justifying having "just one" because it's a special occasion, or because I'm sure I can handle it this time, is stupid and risky.

artsoul

That really hits home, elfgirl - I loved the part about changing from Hershey's to Lindt's. It shows how insane the addicted mind can be. Thanks - that was a good one! (And Supercrew, you had me cringing..... ouch!!).

I bet the folks here could fill 100 threads on "special occasions gone wrong!"

Inafishbowl

Suki, that is seriously hysterical. There was a lady in one of my meetings talking about how she drank as a reward for doing "grown up things". Put the laundry in, take a drink. Put it in the dryer, take a drink. Fold it, take a drink. That is so funny. Sad, but seriously funny.

Supercrew, a lady in my meeting just relapsed on a cruise after 20 years sober. Seriously, I don't think I've ever been sober near any kind of body of water. I'm glad you're on this journey with me.

LaFemme

Fish...were you ever near a body of water as a kid??? Bet you were sober then

DKS

I had stayed sober for over 18 months, even though my husband was drinking. Then our anniversary was coming up, and my husband I were going out on a date for our anniversary, and we had family in town that the kids were staying with while they vacationed in a condo on the beach. I kept thinking about how much I missed having margaritas on the rocks with salt, and I obsessed over the upcoming date and how I would enjoy margaritas for that one night only, and then stop drinking again forever. The night finally came, and I had a bunch of margaritas, but barely even caught a buzz. The huge tolerance that I'd built up had never gone away and it was just like before. It took mass quantities of alcohol to even feel anything. We picked up a 24 pack of beer on the way home and I stayed up all night drinking. That was a Friday night. When Saturday night rolled around, the overwhelming cravings and obsessive thoughts were back again, worse than ever before. I rationalized that it would be OK if I only drank on Fridays and Saturdays, but never during the week. Then I spent the rest of the week obsessing about how I'd be able to drink again the following Friday. By the end of that weekend, I was right back to daily drinking again and didn't try to stop again until a couple of years later. When I finally quit in June 2006, there were some intense withdrawal symptoms, and the cravings and obsessive thoughts continued for more than a year after that. I would never want to risk going through that again. It's simply not worth it!

sunrise1

Although I'm pretty set in AA, one thing I read in Smart Recovery seems to make a lot of sense to me here: this is your addiction's voice talking to you... wooing you... telling you anything you want to hear that seems to make sense for you to have a drink.

It's awesome that you recognize that. I'll tell you straight up that maybe you CAN have "just one"... But what will that mean for the next time you're tempted, or in a "special situation"? These things only roll downhill in my experience.