EmeraldRose

Alot said here...greats advice from all.

Personally, I'd rather live a long serene sober life than a really short fun drunk one. Its' our choice.

Congratulations on not drinking at the bar but maybe you should get rid of that bottle on the fridge that is a really bad reminder/temptation.

elfgirl

Eh... the bottle is my husband's. So's the 6 pack of Guinness he bought for St. Patrick's Day (even though he bought to share- my decision to stop drinking has been pretty abrupt). I honestly don't think he has taken me remotely seriously when I've told him I am just done with it this time- I mean, I've said the same thing a million times before!!- but even if he *has* taken me seriously, I don't expect him to stop drinking, so I have to learn to live with some of my favorites around the house. It's a temptation, but it's okay. I don't have to drink because it's there, I tend to be more of a peer pressure girl. I just have to keep saying 'no' when it's offered. I'm sure I'll be here asking you all to remind me that just one Guinness will never be just one Guinness, help me strengthen that resolve.

Good lord... I never get to have Guinness again.

Dee74

Yeah, I really liked Guinness too.

But when I stack up all the things I've gained since getting sober...
not having Guinness again is a really infinitesimal laughably small price to pay, elfgirl.

D

LaFemme

Hi elffirl and welcome to SR!

I can't remember ever getting this comment...but what I think of when I hear it is the court jester. Your job is not about entertaining others

LaFemme

Sorry that sounded a little abrupt...the dog wanted out. What I meant to say is that what someone who is drinking is fun isn't necessarily what we should aspire to being. I would rather be around people who are joyful and healthy than fun

Congrats on not drinking!

BloodnbonE

i know exactly how u feel with the no fun thing when sober. i feel like im the most boring person in the world sober it sucks but i believe with enough sober time i might get sum sort of spring back into my personality and this might be the same for you i hope

AcceptingChange

It helped me to plan a strategy about what you will drink around the house. You probably don't have a lot of soda, sparkling water, and juice drinks around the house. So, if you buy those, then you can open one of those when others start opening beers. It's good to have something, that's for sure.
Me, i started drinking 5-8 cups of tea a day. When i come home from work, it's one of the first things i do, is to put water & a teabag in the microwave. It gives me a little kick, and helps more than hurts with not picking up.

And as for the yearly patrick's day smashfest, i grew up in an irish neighborhood. People would start drinking by 11am for the neighborhood parade, and not stop.. It was very out of control.

Stick with your committment. It gets much, much harder as the years go on. If drinking worked, i wouldn't be here. I'm an ex life o the party person too. But now, i'm giving up that honor.

elfgirl

Stick with your committment. It gets much, much harder as the years go on.

Please tell me you meant it gets easier??!!??

Dee74, absolutely- I was thinking about it last night. What would it hurt if I had ONE Guinness with my husband on Thursday. Because, you know, if I go into it with the thought that I will have ONE and that's it, I can certainly do it, especially after my "scared straight" moment. The problem isn't so much that I'd have that one drink, though, it's that I will have found a way to justify and rationalize it being okay for me to have one drink- which means on another day I will think "okay, I was fine with just one last time, so what's the harm if I have a glass of wine with dinner, a couple beers playing pool afterward, and OH! Jeez, babe, I really didn't want to do those shots but since you poured them and it's the good stuff I guess..... Uh, what happened last night and where are my pants?"

I also agree it's not my job to be "fun" for everyone. I've been thinking about our bar trip Saturday night, how my brother-in-law said he missed the "fun me" (meaning the drunk me), talking about what a great time we all had on Thanksgiving (and it WAS a blast, what I remember of it). The thing is that once everyone got drunk, I don't think they realized I was sober any more. Sure I wasn't as loud as them, but I still laughed, I still yelled for our team, and I still had a good time.

Is it normal to feel totally crazy at first? I've had really long periods of sobriety but have never really meant it when I said I was giving up alcohol. There was always some unknown point in the future when it would be okay to drink again (always with the thought that I would be able to moderate). I feel kind of dumb saying this, but I feel really anxious when I think about the rest of my life and never even having a glass of champagne. I don't want all the BS that comes with drinking, but no glass of champagne on New Year's Eve? Yikes. It feels like a lot right now.

One day at a time.

LaFemme

Elfgirl...I don't know what he meant, but for me it is getting easier and easier...I'm at 8 months sober

LaFemme

Also, it's totally okay to feel really weird at first. I think the reason people use the One Day at a Time philosophy is so they don't have to entertain the idea of "Never another Glass of Champagne at New Years". That wouldn't have worked for me...I worked to change the way I thought about alcohol on every level, so that I do'nt mounr it's loss...it took a lot of work but it helped me.

You are doing great!

Supercrew

I think AC meant it get harder to quit as life goes on. I will disagree with that statement too though. The older I get the easier it seems to give up the "life of the party" guy attitude.

I was the party. I was always the one so blasted that I would do the stupid stuff to make the night interesting. Many people loved to see me drink for 2 reasons, some vicariously lived their lives through me, and the others love to see a train wreck. The party started when I got there and ended when I left, and normally I was being dragged out.

It is funny people's perception of me today. I am not the fun life of the party anymore, I'm also not Debbie Downer anymore. I am comfortable in my own skin, friendly and fun, I'm just not "that guy" anymore. But when people wanted to see that guy, I just tell a story or two, and most people realize why I am happy not to be "that guy" anymore.

In my opinion stupid drunk guy with no filter willing to do anything does not equal fun.