A Few Things
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 19
A Few Things
I have some spare time and i thought i should post some questions/reflections/observations on my alcoholism as it is at this current point in time.
1.I am having some doubts about my need to be sober, on one hand, alot of my friends have left me because they do not condone my alcoholism, most encourage me to quit, but i figure that the ones who dont stick by me through this disability (thats what i call it, my own term) then they arent good friends to begin with true friends always stick by your side no matter what.
2. I am becoming more of a functioning alcoholic i havent been sick in over a month i walk alot everyday (well not so much in the winter) but in the summer i walk all day everyday or ride my bike all over town day after day, slight hangover/low on energy in the morning but nothing severe like it used to be a few months ago, nothing a glass or two of sports drink and a nutriotional breakfast cant solve, im getting regularly and have no issues with that, i have a slight issue with dehydration but i always have.
3. my friends (one a hardcore alcoholic who can barly eat and vommits alot, shes sick) and only 30 years old and been drinking all her life told me to quit while im ahead, on the other hand, my neighbor, hes almost 65 years old, been drinking all his life and hes in good health even works sometimes and i know another working alcoholic who has no ill effects except making him a jerk lol. My theory is that alcohol reacts differently with certain people than others.
I just i thought i would post some refelctions on my own situations and the rest is open to discussion feel free to make opinions on these statements or ask questions, its welcome. thank you
1.I am having some doubts about my need to be sober, on one hand, alot of my friends have left me because they do not condone my alcoholism, most encourage me to quit, but i figure that the ones who dont stick by me through this disability (thats what i call it, my own term) then they arent good friends to begin with true friends always stick by your side no matter what.
2. I am becoming more of a functioning alcoholic i havent been sick in over a month i walk alot everyday (well not so much in the winter) but in the summer i walk all day everyday or ride my bike all over town day after day, slight hangover/low on energy in the morning but nothing severe like it used to be a few months ago, nothing a glass or two of sports drink and a nutriotional breakfast cant solve, im getting regularly and have no issues with that, i have a slight issue with dehydration but i always have.
3. my friends (one a hardcore alcoholic who can barly eat and vommits alot, shes sick) and only 30 years old and been drinking all her life told me to quit while im ahead, on the other hand, my neighbor, hes almost 65 years old, been drinking all his life and hes in good health even works sometimes and i know another working alcoholic who has no ill effects except making him a jerk lol. My theory is that alcohol reacts differently with certain people than others.
I just i thought i would post some refelctions on my own situations and the rest is open to discussion feel free to make opinions on these statements or ask questions, its welcome. thank you
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,896
If you know you are an alcoholic, why would you not want to be sober? I've read back over your past posts, and in all honesty, it doesn't sound to me like you are ready to quit. Too much rationalizing and attempted moderation that you admit didn't work. It doesn't matter what anyone says, or how many drinkers say you are not an alcoholic, or how many say you are. The only thing that matters is that you will not stop drinking until you are ready. I hope that you are ready soon.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 19
Thank you for the advice i sometimes hope so as well and i have cut down, i am scheduling a checkup to see whats going on with my health, i get one every few years anyways its time for one i shall report back to see if the alcohol has had any ill effects on me
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Well, it does sound like you're looking for reasons to make it OK to drink, which is what alcoholics do. I understand because I did the very same thing. I just think you're settling for much, much less of life if you decide to live it as a functional alcoholic (just "slight hangovers/low on energy").
In my experience, the "functional" part started to become not-so-functional anymore. I certainly wasn't living up to my potential.
One of the great things about sobriety is that you don't have to have these debate with yourself anymore.
I'm wishing you all the best.:day6
In my experience, the "functional" part started to become not-so-functional anymore. I certainly wasn't living up to my potential.
One of the great things about sobriety is that you don't have to have these debate with yourself anymore.
I'm wishing you all the best.:day6
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,424
I used to look to older alcoholics too as reasons to continue, Moe...but the only thing that counts is how your drinking affects you...
the fact was I was hurting myself...killing myself even - and deep down I knew it...
I'd have brief periods of 'less drinking' which I termed 'control'...but there were inevitably followed by long long period of very destructive 'no holds barred' drinking.
It was like some messed up see saw....for 20 years.
The only way for me to break the cycle and get happy was to put the booze down forever, Moe....but I tried every wrinkle in the book to have my cake and eat it too.
The fact is drinking was bad for me...and I think, if you're honest, you know it's bad for you too.
I hope you don't take as long as I did to make up your mind.
D
the fact was I was hurting myself...killing myself even - and deep down I knew it...
I'd have brief periods of 'less drinking' which I termed 'control'...but there were inevitably followed by long long period of very destructive 'no holds barred' drinking.
It was like some messed up see saw....for 20 years.
The only way for me to break the cycle and get happy was to put the booze down forever, Moe....but I tried every wrinkle in the book to have my cake and eat it too.
The fact is drinking was bad for me...and I think, if you're honest, you know it's bad for you too.
I hope you don't take as long as I did to make up your mind.
D
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
I guess the only thing that really matters is the effect alcohol has on you.
The experience of trying to stop or moderate and not being able to helps to get a full knowledge of your condition.
I would suggest a read of the chapter called "More about alcoholism" from the big book of AA.
With regard to real friends not walking away from us...we wear people out. I think the best thing they can do for us is tell us the truth. If they have to show it with actions by walking away because they cannot take our behavior anymore, I don't think it means they are not good friends.
I think we are the ones that ruin relationships, by our drinking.
Oh Maureen. You have gone back and forth with this.
Why does it take what it takes, I don't know. I only hope you will see through this latest illusion.
Forget about the other people and take an honest look at what role alcohol is playing in your life.
When you try to stop, you cannot.
If that is the type of life you want, then no one can help you to stop. What do you really want Maureen?
The experience of trying to stop or moderate and not being able to helps to get a full knowledge of your condition.
I would suggest a read of the chapter called "More about alcoholism" from the big book of AA.
With regard to real friends not walking away from us...we wear people out. I think the best thing they can do for us is tell us the truth. If they have to show it with actions by walking away because they cannot take our behavior anymore, I don't think it means they are not good friends.
I think we are the ones that ruin relationships, by our drinking.
Oh Maureen. You have gone back and forth with this.
Why does it take what it takes, I don't know. I only hope you will see through this latest illusion.
Forget about the other people and take an honest look at what role alcohol is playing in your life.
When you try to stop, you cannot.
If that is the type of life you want, then no one can help you to stop. What do you really want Maureen?
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
People who are unaffected by alcohol
don't post on recovery websites.
People who can drink and leave it alone
don't wonder if they might have a problem.
People who can have a drink and go home
don't have to rationalize if they have a drinking problem.
People who aren't in trouble with alcohol
don't lose their friends over their drinking.
They might lose their friends for other reasons, however.
But those friends won't tell them it's because of their drinking.
People who know, truly know
they have a problem that's bigger than they can handle
post on recovery websites.
People who are scared they can't quit on their own
or have tried to quit and realize they can't
post on recovery websites.
And finally
people who know they have a problem
and have had one for a long time
usually start out saying
how scared they are to change anything.
They want to know how to get better
they want the pain and the shame and the sadness to stop
without actually stopping drinking.
And almost none ... ever ... stop before they do something awful.
Because we all thought it'd never happen to us.
Just my experience in four short years of recovery.
And a good bit of insight to how I got here, too.
don't post on recovery websites.
People who can drink and leave it alone
don't wonder if they might have a problem.
People who can have a drink and go home
don't have to rationalize if they have a drinking problem.
People who aren't in trouble with alcohol
don't lose their friends over their drinking.
They might lose their friends for other reasons, however.
But those friends won't tell them it's because of their drinking.
People who know, truly know
they have a problem that's bigger than they can handle
post on recovery websites.
People who are scared they can't quit on their own
or have tried to quit and realize they can't
post on recovery websites.
And finally
people who know they have a problem
and have had one for a long time
usually start out saying
how scared they are to change anything.
They want to know how to get better
they want the pain and the shame and the sadness to stop
without actually stopping drinking.
And almost none ... ever ... stop before they do something awful.
Because we all thought it'd never happen to us.
Just my experience in four short years of recovery.
And a good bit of insight to how I got here, too.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 323
If you can't remember the last time you only had 1 drink you're probably an alcoholic.
If you haven't had a drink in over a month you are probably sober.
If you don't wake up everyday and feel like you pretty much **** excellence you probably aren't recovered.
If you haven't had a drink in over a month you are probably sober.
If you don't wake up everyday and feel like you pretty much **** excellence you probably aren't recovered.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
I used to have thoughts like that too, and have looked at older drinkers who don't seem to have suffered many serious consequences as an excuse to keep drinking. If I'm still healthy and employed, if I can moderate my drinking, if I'm not hurting anyone else....well then, no reason for me to stop!
Never worked for me.
As an aside, I have an alkie neighbor, I think he's pretty much a 24/7 drinker, he doesn't work and does the occasional odd job around the neighborhood for beer money. He's shoveled snow for me. I was talking to him the other day and he told me his age - he is not even 50 yet. I thought he was around 60...he looks awful and doesn't seem to have much of a life. For every alcoholic who makes it to "older age" there's probably dozens who don't.
And who wants to go on for decades in a blur of alcohol, anyway?
My father was a very physically active, healthy, "functional alcoholic." He died very quickly of liver cancer at 64. A few years prior to that he had brain surgery for normal pressure hydrocephalus - alcoholsm may well have been a causative factor.
Not sure what you want, Maureen? I don't think anyone here is going to give you permission to be a functional alcoholic. The choice is yours but I think getting and staying sober is the healthier choice.
Never worked for me.
As an aside, I have an alkie neighbor, I think he's pretty much a 24/7 drinker, he doesn't work and does the occasional odd job around the neighborhood for beer money. He's shoveled snow for me. I was talking to him the other day and he told me his age - he is not even 50 yet. I thought he was around 60...he looks awful and doesn't seem to have much of a life. For every alcoholic who makes it to "older age" there's probably dozens who don't.
And who wants to go on for decades in a blur of alcohol, anyway?
My father was a very physically active, healthy, "functional alcoholic." He died very quickly of liver cancer at 64. A few years prior to that he had brain surgery for normal pressure hydrocephalus - alcoholsm may well have been a causative factor.
Not sure what you want, Maureen? I don't think anyone here is going to give you permission to be a functional alcoholic. The choice is yours but I think getting and staying sober is the healthier choice.
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