Stimmed

Yeah a little knowledge can be very dangerous!

My early sobriety saw me completely off balance for around 5months, and didn't really start to feel leveled out until 14months! During this time tho, i did see and feel deff' changes for the better. Sometimes id really try and focus on them, and it helped distract me from thinking or feeling i was a little off balance.
It all really did feel like a long time with no end when i thought about it, but i just said to myself "i gotta snap outta this", and get on.

Stick at it, gl ;-)

currygod

I can't move out right now, as I have no job or income of any kind really :| but it really stresses me out living here.. I know my mum hates me, we can't even have a 5 minute conversation cus we have nothing to talk about - meh.

It's reassuring to know these things are pretty common so thank you for that, and you're right, I do need to stop reading online and scaring myself. I mean, I've noticed when I exercise it takes ages for my heart rate to become normal again, and I looked online about it and it said it could be an early sign of heart disease!

ahh I dunno, it almost seemed like drinking was 'easier' even tho I know its not, I'm just not used to dealing with life and myself and it feels very strange. I can relate to this especially....

It turned out that once I removed the alcohol, I was still stuck with me being me and thinking about me and why I don't like me.

thats me completely! thanks again for ur posts!!

LexieCat

All your physical and emotional stuff IS completely normal.

I suggest you go back to AA and throw yourself into it, for a couple of reasons. First, it isn't a social club (though there are social aspects to the fellowship), so it doesn't matter how old the people are (and there are a lot more young people in AA than you think there are). The point is that they know how to live sober, which is what you want to do, right? They can show you how.

It sounds like you are ready to take a look at how drinking affected your life, and you want to clean up the mess. The Twelve Steps are an organized, simple, structured way to do that. It doesn't get cleaned up overnight, but one day at a time, you will get there.

TotoBidule

You DEFINITELY need to stop reading online about symptoms!

This is a CLASSIC example. This is also a classic symptom of another condition - lack of fitness! It is NORMAL for unfit people to have their heart pump furiously for many, many minutes after exercise. (This is from memory, but the generals are true). Top competitive runners can get their heartrate up to something like 250 per minute while running, and in something like a minute or two it goes down to their resting rate of 40-50. Unfit people would almost certainly have a heart attack at that rate, and after exercise it can take 15-20 minutes (or even longer I think) for the rate to go down to resting rate.

At the end of the day, SMILING can be the symptom of a serious illness (can't remember the House episode :-)) but there is a much more likely explanation - you are happy . We have all been trashing our bodies with poison - it's no wonder at all that we don't feel healthy. I'd give it a year of healthy exercise (slow, and preferably planned out with a trainer) before starting to look for symptoms of anything :-).

currygod

thank you for the reassuarnce guys I'm hoping things start getting back to normal soon, in addition to eating healthy and starting to exercise (though I still keep convincing myself I might have a heart attack LOL) I have ordered some super dooper healthy supplements so my body will be going into some kind of spasm when it gets the goodness

and even I know I need to stop looking online! It seems crazy to me that I'm doing it, but its some weird compulsion I have - almost like my compulsion to drink a poision - like WTF?! I'm finding it really hard to stop my stupid habit tho

Che

I feel that way lots. When I look at other people who feel the same way, I begin to realise it doesn't really matter how well off you are or how down in the dumps you are, happiness is something people make for themselves. You can have no friends and not care, or you can have all the friends in the world and feel like it's a waste. It doesn't even seem to be based on personal needs and desires. The difference seems to be whether or not you're thinking positively, trying to enjoy yourself... Maybe.

I don't really have a nice answer to give because I haven't mastered feeling good about my life either. It seems if I don't have something, I tend to believe it's important... Kind of self-defeating. Still, maybe seeing this in me will help you find answers for yourself. I'll root for ya.