suki44883

I don't see anyone here disputing that, noblecause. I can't speak for anyone else, but I completely accept responsibility for my actions. Yes, I'm very thankful that no one was harmed because of my stupid choice. But then, again, I faced my consequences, did everything that was demanded of me and have never gotten behind the wheel again after drinking. I am now, and have been for almost 3 years a non-drinker. So, I guess you could say that I got it.

Apologies if this comes off harsh, but, it doesn't help when people continue to criticize or look down upon those of us who have paid our debt and learned from our mistakes. It is also unfortunate that the states capitalize on these tragedies to secure more revenue for no other reason than they can. Pardon us for being a little ticked off about it.

NobleCause

And I wasn't suggesting anything other than that it might be more productive to be grateful it wasn't worse and accept the obstacles without complaining about or getting hung up on them. Or take it to a policy level and actually get involved in trying to change things. In most states, DUI laws & fines have gotten significantly stricter & steeper over the past few years/decades and are only leaning to move further in that direction - this trend, in my opinion, is unfortunate and in some ways counterproductive, but predatory it is not... As for "it doesn't help when people continue to criticize or look down upon those of us who have paid our debt and learned from our mistakes" - I'm not sure what, if anything, in my post you're referencing there, but I completely agree.

Justfor1

I never took my last DUI as a "hitting bottom'. I simply moved to the big city and continued to drink/drug until I was homeless. I don't even consider a DUI a crime if no one is injured and there was no accidents. The reason why that it takes 4 or 5 DUI's before someone does some prison time is because it is a non-violent offense and the judges know the reality of this situation.

UniqueNewYork

I think once someone is convicted of a 2nd dui they should lose their license for life. At the same time I agree with you we don't need to talk about these people like they are some kind of child molester; they did something stupid that a lot of people have done and some get caught for some don't. If you really want my opinion we should force multiple offenders to only travel by motorcycle, thus reducing their chance of hurting anyone but themselves. Our society is too soft though you'll never see this solution considered and some would argue they would still cause accidents. But almost every tragedy I hear about is a car with a drunk driver crossing the center line and striking someone else head on or almost head on.

I'm not argumentative by nature, but I would argue with you that its not because "..it is a non-violent offense and the judges know the reality of this situation" why people don't get hard prison time for the first couple of DUIs. The reason is that our jails are overcrowded and if they throw a dui in they have to let an assault and battery person out or maybe a stalker or any string of violent or dangerous crime individuals. Judges would love to throw people in for some serious time at the 2nd or 3rd dui they just know its not feasible.

Justfor1

Thats an interesting idea. Letting DUI offenders drive only motorcycles not cars. I think it would be hard to drive a motorcycle drunk? Back in the early '90s I got pulled over drunk and the cop just took my keys and gave me a ride home. Fast forward to 2004 when I got my last DUI the cop treated me like I was a serial killer! The rules are far too harsh. After my second DUI I had to perform 20hours of community service (no jail time). I believe that the 3rd conviction (not arrest) even becomes a felony! I do know that when I get my license back I will treat it as a gift.

flutter

I hope you're able to get it sorted out soon, and behind you. Sounds like you're living with a lot of anger and resentment about the whole deal, and that's just not a healthy way to live. Take care of the requirements, and feel good knowing you'll never find yourself in this position again, in your new sober life.

IndyOG

Exactly, If the state wants people to not make the same mistake then at least they could mandate the huge fines to getting help, $3 grand can buy good help. Instead of sticking it in their own pockets.

concernednurse

Im jumping over from the F&F section, but from my standpoint as I go through my recovery alongside my ABF... nobody can "buy", or force, convince, or at the very very least, love and care an alcoholic to be helped. It has to come from within the alcoholic themselves. That's why people have gone on to get 5, 6, or 7 DUIs after mandatory AA, therapy and any other various "mandated help"... they don't "get" it, they still don't believe they have a problem. I've learned that even if I wanted to give all the money in the world to my ABF to "help" him, it wouldn't be worth a cent unless HE wants the help. I'd rather stick it in MY OWN pocket.

Stevie1

The problem with the huge fines is that people without much money or opportunity are really screwed by this. I hire a young man part time who has been unable to get his license back because he screwed up not only by drinking and driving (and leading the cops on a chase, which got him a felony drunk driving rap) but not staying on top of paying off all his fines. Now he owes...I don't know, several thousand, I think.

His DUI was six years ago, he cannot drive and only has a GED, he has not been able to find steady work at all because of the felony and not being able to drive or get to a job reliably, and the chances of him being able to pay these fines are between slim and none, any time soon. But he was not even an alcoholic....just a stupid kid who made some very poor choices. He barely drinks. Unfortunately he'll be paying for this for a very, very long time.

So I do have sympathy for people who were nailed for a DUI, cleaned their act up but have to deal with the fallout for years. Especially when it impacts those who can't afford the fines, but doesn't have as much an effect on people who have the means to take care of them.

UniqueNewYork

People have to figure out how they can "Win" at life. As a man i'd rather be sober and in great physical shape lifting weights then drunk out of shape and rich as can be. I was unemployed for a year. I know this sounds wierd, but once I really decided to get sober and lift dedicated, I felt like a winner inside. That was just my answer. For someone else it may be more religion or arts oriented. I'm just saying money is not everything, and a lot of people with money are not very happy. I know a 6 figures guy and an average american income guy. The average income guy is much much happier.

Kjell

Hiya Just-

I'm a multiple offender (two duis) here in the great state of Georgia. My license was suspended for a year and I'm actually about to get it back. There are many (expensive) hoops to jump through, but it's my responsability.

Towards the end of my drinking, I became a black out drunk and once I got drunk, I would start some serious drug seeking behavior and drive off to get said drugs.

It was scary and it's a miracle I didn't seriously hurt anyone in both my wrecks (totalled cars).

We have to pay our price, but that's on you my friend that you spent 6 years without a license when yours was only suspended for 1.

That is your decision. Your choice.

In AA, one saying I love is "there is going to be a long period of reconstruction" and I've found that to be very true. Being in a recovery program, in my case AA, has given me the tools to live a sober, happy, and purposeful life.

Your license has been ready for you to get for 6 years!

Think about that. Why? ...and now why do you continue to blame others for your decisions?

I'm on your side and I hope the questions above get you to think about what your real problem is.

Kjell

Justfor1

The reason why I did not get my license back 6 years ago was because I was committed to my drinking and using drugs. I decided that I no longer wanted to be a danger on the road. I thought I did the responsible thing. The theme of this thread was to show how consequences do not go away.

LexieCat

I have a friend that did the same thing: after a couple of DUI's he quit.

Driving, that is.

He still shakes his head over that one.

He still doesn't drive (he lives in a city where he can get along without it) but he's sober for almost three years.

Sounds to me like the consequences here are mostly of your own making. You let the process go for six years and now you're impatient that you aren't getting an instant response to your desire to resume driving. Given that you were drinking/drugging all that time, it kinda makes sense that they want to be sure you can be trusted with a license again, doesn't it?

Kjell

Hi Just-

I wasn't trying to be rude, I promise. I know what you're going through b/c I'm going through a lot of the same stuff right now too.

My year suspension was up in December, but I'm still "jumping through" hoops to get my license back and it's March. I hope to get mine back within a few weeks, but there is just so much out of my control.

I'm sure you're anxious to get to driving again and I would be too.

My advice, in my clumsy way above, was to say to keep working on your sobriety and to do the next right thing and you'll be driving again soon enough. Might as well make this time of your life useful (at least that's what I'm doing).

Kjell