ste

There is a "break the ice" game here at get togethers. Everyone takes a turn and tells of an embarrasing incident in their lives. It almost always involves alcohol. Think it would be cathartic if we did it here.

I'll start:

I had a girlfriend who was a waitress. She kept bringing me Long Island Ice Teas. I knew they were alcoholic, but not what they were (five different kinds of liquor, with a splash of coke), they tasted like tea. I remember five, at which point I was obviously wobbly.

She put her house key in my shirt pocket, and told me she would meet me at home. I wobbled to her home and couldn't find the key. I didn't know what a shirt pocket was for until I started smoking. Passed out on her porch. When I was "coming to", had the idea of using a credit card to jimmy the door.

I stumbled all the way over to the neighbors porch and started to jimmy the door. From behind me I heard "get on the ground". I flopped to the ground with thoughts racing through my head, like, what does it feel like to get shot. Then "Scott, is that you?", "yes", "are you drunk?", "very". He laughed all the way back into his house. With the rush of adrenaline, I amazingly found the key in my shirt pocket and crawled into bed.

The next day they were all laughing, he knew all the time it was me. Good thing that he knew, he really had a gun.

ste

Trooper.jpg (88.6 KB)

What's your story?

UniqueNewYork

Haha I needed that laugh. Sadly I have so many stories that I have to find the right one. Ok this is one of my favorites.

The One That Got Away

I went to a clean nice sports bar to watch my football team play. I sat at the bar. I was tan and in good shape at this particular time. I started checking out a girl in my peripheral. She asked me if I went to the college which I had on my shirt. I said yes and expressed how excited I was to see them play today. She said she went to the same college and offered me beer. I said no thanks. She was sitting alone at a table with a pitcher.

She offered me again and I had to think about it. This was a time when my social skills were horrible and I was often drinking because I felt out of place and didn't know how to talk to people like anything but a space alien. I actually had to have a conversation in my head that went like this: "Dude.. she offered you beer twice. She thinks your cute." I was a little dumbfounded. I am not a bad looking guy, and I was pretty muscular and deep tanned at this time, but this girl was without a doubt the most beautiful girl that I had hit on before. Slender arms, very tight body with no fat, tan, auburn hair. Easily the most beautiful woman in the bar and on par with a cheerleader a hooters girl whatever measure you would use.

We get to talking and I sit by her. We drink about 2 and a half pitchers which we split in the span of .. I dunno like an hour. I try to drink the bulk of it. I tell myself its because i'm the man but really I was just alcoholicing. We start to walk to another bar. On the way to the other bar at night walking down the sidewalk we get to talking. I start flirting with her. I use some suave lines and she ends up flashing me which was freakin awesome. At one point she rubs her hand down my leg which is the universal "you're going to get some" signal in my experience. I can't believe how lucky I am.

We get to the next bar and she says she has to go to the bathroom and wait for her. I go to the bar and order drinks for us. I am buzzed maybe drunk definitely not trashed yet. I start drinking and waiting for her. Over half an hour passes by. Now 45 minutes. I have a conversation with myself where I convince myself she has left me because I am a loser and all this other stuff. I get mad. After drinking some more I stumble out and pass out behind the building. I think I passed out on an ant colony because my arm was bit up rediculously. I lose my car keys and have to have a set overnighted from my parents. I figure out I got this girls number. I call up this girl and asked what happened. "I was in the bathroom throwing up for a long time..". She sounds hung over. I believe her. Apparently not everyone can drink like a full blown alcoholic especially someone only 110-120 lbs. I try to talk her into seeing me again but she never does. I've had my share of fun and some of the women have been beautiful, but i've never gotten anyone as beautiful and clean and take-home-to-mom looking as this girl.

Stimmed

Heh...

Joy Ridden

My long term partner and i had fallen out over something, and she'd gone to stay with her mother. At the time i worked hard and played the same, and would often go drinking with collegues after a rough day.
One paticular time after an outing i got home all drained and half cut with drink, still looking like id been down the pit all day. Was hungry but lazy so i just took out a smoke, and didn't have a light. I didn't concider the cooker or fire or anything obvious, i just didnt have a lighter. So i decided i knock on next door but one and get me a light.

Knock knock... my neighbour was a proper good-lookin natural blonde(x) that my partner had try to warn me about. But i just dont see sometimes. Anyway, "hi come in!", i said i just wana light, "yeah sure come in", so in i went.
In her living room sat a another gooden, very cute brunette(y) who id never met, but introduced myself and she seemed really nice, i also noticed she was in her PJs.
I got a light and started chatting, and after about 20mins x suggested food delivered with drinks. Wow! my lazy as$ had paid off!
So i took off my jacket and sat on a newspaper i put on her sofa, chinese food, and wine arrived, and... well a we had nice evening to say the least.
But then x commented on my messed up hair (which was quite greasy from the days graft) and that i needed a shave too. Next thing, i get a shave and my hair tidied up!!!!

I then asked if i could use her bathroom, "sure help yourself" so up i went, but then thought, pfff im gonna get a shower and clean up proper... so i did heh.

When i came down y was gone, and x said "im going to bed now" , ok i said, thanks for everything it was nice and proceeded to her door. She said "you can come with us if you want"..., ?!?!?!?!!!!, i looked at her and... looked at the door and said ok and we went up!
I'll obviously spare the details, but i remember saying to both of them (because it was quite late) dont let me sleep in, i have to be up at what ever time ok, "yeah yeah yeah no prob you'll be up" heh

Anyway, next morning i woke up in the middle and i noticed it was quite bright outside.
Cr*p! im late!, i woke them up and said why didn't you wake me?! "we did but you wern't having any of it!"
I need to use your phone to ring my boss, "yeah go ahead".
So i crawled to the edge of the bed and sat their collecting my thoughts, and looked to the floor.
!!!! to pair of pants with s*nitry towels!!!!

I remarked but they just thought it hilarious!

I went down to use the phone and tried to explain my absence as 'i slept in'. Boss wasn't happy at all, so i decided to come completely clean and told him...
At first he still didn't believe me so i called x and y to the phone.
Then he said "well get youself in and give us all the details"!!!!

!!!! i couldn't do that !!!!

ZZworldontheweb

I was on a business trip in Shanghai. Jet lag and booze DO NOT mix. I got to my hotel room after the flight and downed several drinks while watching TV, then went to bed.

I woke up disoriented about 3 AM, not knowing the layout of the room. I opened the door to what I thought was the bathroom, stumbled through, and closed it behind me. It was actually the door to the hallway.

I had forgotten to pack pajamas, so I was buck naked and had locked my key inside. After a minor freak-out, I walked over to the house phone by the elevators, called the desk, and told them I’d locked myself out.

They said to come down to the lobby and they’d give me a spare. I said I couldn’t because “I wasn’t dressed” (leaving open the possibility I was wearing a bathrobe or something). They said they’d send the bellboy up, and I went over and sat by my door with my arms wrapped around my knees. Thoughts were going through my head like "My job is toast, my god, this is what it's come to, " etc.

The kid got off the elevator (he looked about 19), looked straight at me, smiled, unlocked the door, turned around without saying a word, and got right back on the elevator. He apparently had seen this type of behavior from American businessmen before.

Stevie1

Oh hell no I am not telling you people anything even close to the most embarassing thing. Are you nuts?

A mildly embarassing thing, OK. Pretty mild, except bear in mind I am someone who in different phases of my life would not be seen dead without makeup and hair done in public.

I live in an area that is borderline....bordered on the north with respectable farms and nice homes; bordered to the south of me some of the most dangerous areas in the country per the FBI. There are many, many liquor stores and ghetto stores within a mile of me. I'm in a sort of quasi-rural, quasi-ghetto, quasi-respectable 'hood.

I have gone to the ghetto liquor stores wearing pajama pants, plastic clogs, no bra (but a baggy jacket), not showered, completely trashed....and comfortable in knowing that I am an average alkie ghetto liquor store client, nothing out of the ordinary, nobody would look twice, I was normal. And that was scary.

LaFemme

All my stories are simply sad. I prefer the onward and upward approach

ste

It was my birthday. My wife was in Russia helping her son. We had decided to help him start a business there, he wouldn't have much opportunity otherwise.

I bought a 750ml bottle of vodka on the way home from work. I was sure my wife would call, she did every two or three days to keep me posted. Started drinking expecting the call. Home alone.

Well, its early in Russia, I'll have another swallow. Is she going to call.... another slug. I feel bad..... another slug. I'm not as mizzable as I used to be..... but I'm still mizzable. Another gulp. When is that *#&^^_#%!! going to call? Finished the bottle and went to bed with a glass of water on the nightstand.

In the wee hours of the night I went for the water, the glass fell on the wood floor and broke. Was afraid it might stain the floor, or run into the rug, so got out of bed to clean it up. Set the bottom of the glass upright and started to put broken pieces in it. Stepped on a piece and lost my balance, ended up sitting on the broken bottom of the tumbler. Couldn't stop the bleeding so called 911.

It looked like a murder scene. A trail of blood through the house, bloody handprints on the walls which I used to try and remain upright. The policeman fervently looked for a perpetrator I might be trying to protect. After my explanation, and finding my empty bottle he calmed down. He frankly stated "Your birthday isn't today, it was yesterday."

It goes without saying, if I passed out, blacked out or fainted, I would be dead. I was saved for another day.

Did that stop me from drinking? No, that morning I got a bottle to assuage the "pain in my azz." A plastic tumbler instead of glass was the obvious solution.