Length of sobriety: does it matter?
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Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr 
I've been sober 19+ years and say yes, to a degree. As we stay sober we build up experiences and have "sober reference". I've been through deaths, money problems, IRS, dental, relationship issues and when they happen again -- hey, it's life -- I'm better equipped to deal with these things. I can also tell others about the actions I took. I have lots of experience with drink signals, people places and things, HALT. I know what my stress points are.
However, I've encountered too many people who once had a lot of time and went out. Even after two decades. You get lazy, complacent. You forget what it was like. You forget that it's a cunning, baffling and powerful disease.
It's important to always remember that I am an alcoholic, that I'm powerless over alcohol. And, that a drink is ONLY an arm's length away.
However, I've encountered too many people who once had a lot of time and went out. Even after two decades. You get lazy, complacent. You forget what it was like. You forget that it's a cunning, baffling and powerful disease.
It's important to always remember that I am an alcoholic, that I'm powerless over alcohol. And, that a drink is ONLY an arm's length away.
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Originally Posted by 24hrsAday
Everyone has an Opinion.. what say you? ever hear about the Importance of hitting the "5" year mark?
Although, I am still one mile from the liquor store. So I need to remember that.
But yeah, with almost two years sober. That is what I would say. Each day, I am a little farther from that old lifestyle. Each day it is a little farther in my past.
But, I also remain proactive in my sobriety and try to force myself to keep moving forward in that.
But, at the end of all of this.... I am still one mile from the liquor store. If that makes any sense at all.
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I remember hearing something similar about quitting smoking, but it was the importance of seven's. Seven days, seven weeks, seven months, and seven years were all times when someone was most likely to start smoking again.
What a stinking pile of fly infested Bovine Patties!
Thoughts like those, in the mind of a recovering addict, are nothing but self inflicted hurdles to trip over in the future. Someone just starting out in sobriety who entertains thoughts like these with any seriousness will have that little voice in the back of their head for the next five years. It'll slowly grind away at their resolve with glacial efficiency, building on their doubts and fears, just waiting to trip them into getting drunk "just this one time".
One drink equals many, so don't have that first one!
Murray
What a stinking pile of fly infested Bovine Patties!
Thoughts like those, in the mind of a recovering addict, are nothing but self inflicted hurdles to trip over in the future. Someone just starting out in sobriety who entertains thoughts like these with any seriousness will have that little voice in the back of their head for the next five years. It'll slowly grind away at their resolve with glacial efficiency, building on their doubts and fears, just waiting to trip them into getting drunk "just this one time".
One drink equals many, so don't have that first one!
Murray
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Join Date: May 2010
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Originally Posted by ChikkaB
I know people in AA that have 30+ years and are total jackholes. I know people that have less than a year and totally get it.
(quote system isn't working on my computer I suspect I'm not the only one?)
Pretty much sums up my feelings
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Originally Posted by Murray4x5
I remember hearing something similar about quitting smoking, but it was the importance of seven's. Seven days, seven weeks, seven months, and seven years were all times when someone was most likely to start smoking again.
What a stinking pile of fly infested Bovine Patties!
Thoughts like those, in the mind of a recovering addict, are nothing but self inflicted hurdles to trip over in the future. Someone just starting out in sobriety who entertains thoughts like these with any seriousness will have that little voice in the back of their head for the next five years. It'll slowly grind away at their resolve with glacial efficiency, building on their doubts and fears, just waiting to trip them into getting drunk "just this one time".
One drink equals many, so don't have that first one!
Murray
What a stinking pile of fly infested Bovine Patties!
Thoughts like those, in the mind of a recovering addict, are nothing but self inflicted hurdles to trip over in the future. Someone just starting out in sobriety who entertains thoughts like these with any seriousness will have that little voice in the back of their head for the next five years. It'll slowly grind away at their resolve with glacial efficiency, building on their doubts and fears, just waiting to trip them into getting drunk "just this one time".
One drink equals many, so don't have that first one!
Murray
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
Wherever it comes from, it's all wrong. I can't imagine saying something like, "Well, you know, you haven't really kicked the habit until you've stayed clean for over five years like I have".
Talk about an unsurmountable mountain when you're first starting out...I remember when a week seemed impossible!
Murray
Talk about an unsurmountable mountain when you're first starting out...I remember when a week seemed impossible!
Murray
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Location: uk
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God does for me what i couldnt......so it isnt me the does the job.
Connection to that power is important to me, vital in fact.....and has become stronger and clearer over time....so in that respect it matters i guess.
thats my own personal experience.......everyone is different i guess.
ive had better days 2 years sober than some of the ones ive had recently but foward i go......hand in hand with the guy that has all the answers...
Connection to that power is important to me, vital in fact.....and has become stronger and clearer over time....so in that respect it matters i guess.
thats my own personal experience.......everyone is different i guess.
ive had better days 2 years sober than some of the ones ive had recently but foward i go......hand in hand with the guy that has all the answers...
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Originally Posted by Murray4x5
Wherever it comes from, it's all wrong. I can't imagine saying something like, "Well, you know, you haven't really kicked the habit until you've stayed clean for over five years like I have".
Talk about an unsurmountable mountain when you're first starting out...I remember when a week seemed impossible!
Murray
Talk about an unsurmountable mountain when you're first starting out...I remember when a week seemed impossible!
Murray
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Location: UK
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Like i said if you aren't happy, joyous and free now then there has to be a focal point in the future...it goes back to the old when i get a partner, car, house, new job things will be different...
I sit with a friend of 25 years sober who looks at a guy who is 40 years sober and says to me thats what i am aiming for...IMO you have to real careful with that kind of thinking because it is definitely old behaviour...but at the same time i would not tell my friend that because although his life is still completely unmanageable, which he would admit, if chasing on the tails of that 40 year sober guy keeps him sober the hey, its better than it was for him...
For him one day at a time never changed from stay away from drink one day at a time to live in the moment and enjoy each day because there may not be a tomorrow...
One of his favourite phrases is "you drank so i dont have to" when someone drinks again...that makes me laugh out loud and i have to pretend i am sneezing...i'm laughing now,,,i know its off topic but its so funny:-)
I sit with a friend of 25 years sober who looks at a guy who is 40 years sober and says to me thats what i am aiming for...IMO you have to real careful with that kind of thinking because it is definitely old behaviour...but at the same time i would not tell my friend that because although his life is still completely unmanageable, which he would admit, if chasing on the tails of that 40 year sober guy keeps him sober the hey, its better than it was for him...
For him one day at a time never changed from stay away from drink one day at a time to live in the moment and enjoy each day because there may not be a tomorrow...
One of his favourite phrases is "you drank so i dont have to" when someone drinks again...that makes me laugh out loud and i have to pretend i am sneezing...i'm laughing now,,,i know its off topic but its so funny:-)
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Join Date: May 2010
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I'd say for starters be happy with sobriety time that keeps you out of trouble like showing up for work sober, driving sober, not committing crimes, lying and/or manipulating people to get your drug of choice. Then worry about personal time if you can't do it all once. Progress is progress no matter how small.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by bevin
Personally, I'll be glad when I can stop counting days (day 4!). I think that it helps some people because it gives them a definite goal to work towards...
Had I gotten what I wanted, I would have in fact been selling myself short. The results I ended up with were so much more than abstinence, I can hardly describe it.
On the other hand, I do believe that there is some statistical advantage to years abstinent. Those with 5 years are about five times more likely to stay sober for life.
However, I don't believe that "not-drinkin" guarantees spiritual growth solid experience. If you were to go for a job interview, I don't think 5 years of "not-working" would impress to many employers as being a positive experience LOL!
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To drink may mean; = drinking to excess, not being able to stop after one, A viscous cycle that I might not be capable of stopping , more damage to my health , more damage to my relationships with my wife, family, friends, and others I care about, ect. ect..!! WOW,… I’m starting to miss all the good times already. Who's buying?
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Each anniversary I go through a period of being incredulous that I have X amount of time. It just doesn't seem possible, surely I drank sometime during that period!! But I didn't.
I realized that all I do is go to a meeting and put my fanny in a chair. I'm not someone who could get and stay sober on my own ... I needed the peers of AA.
In the end there is only one important day: today. It's when I take actions that will help me stay sober or lead me to a drink.
I realized that all I do is go to a meeting and put my fanny in a chair. I'm not someone who could get and stay sober on my own ... I needed the peers of AA.
In the end there is only one important day: today. It's when I take actions that will help me stay sober or lead me to a drink.
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Originally Posted by 24hrsAday
Everyone has an Opinion.. what say you? ever hear about the Importance of hitting the "5" year mark?
I file this 5 year sort of thing along with people telling me I'm not a "real" alcoholic. At only 8 months sober I guess I'm not all that secure in my sobriety and there are a few things that can push my buttons. People sandbagging me, throwing up hurdles and doubts to impede my recovery, or disregarding my problems with alcohol can still set me off I guess.
Sorry again if I came across as too harsh.
Murray
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