sleepie

As I've been weaning off the meds I take- I am feeling the effect of less klonopin. I really don't want to go through another horrific episode that lasts for months, but I am determined to quit this stuff for good- I did not abuse it but I do know in the past that I turned to alcohol when the withdrawal became intolerable. I'm weaning much more slowly this time. I try not to take the whole dose very day, too. My fear of being laughed at in public is creeping back and I think people are judging me and I get scared to leave the apartment but today I got up and out of bed, went for a long walk and felt a little better. When I returned I was all scared again though. So I am hiding under the covers with a book. When I was a teenager I used to draw cartoons of myself in bed sleeping when I felt all bad. Maybe I will draw a little. But most likely I will stay in my room where it's safe and watch tv, read and burn incense. I am already relieved that I don't have to leave the apartment again today

OutofIdeas75

Have you talked to your DR about weaning off of your meds?

sleepie

Yes we are doing that together. I meant to post in the Alcoholism forum- sorry! I reposted.

sleepie

We talk about it every month at our appointments as I wean off of them. She said she would jack up the dosage again if needed but I am really trying this time to just tough it out.

Dee74

I merged your two threads sleepie.
Take care of yourself

D

TwelveSteps

Just remember that people are usually WAAAAY too wrapped up in their own BS and what other people are thinking about them to notice the things about you that you're worried about.

GG

ChikkaB

Oh amen to that!

sleepie

Well... I guess.... it's all from being humiliated and called ugly all the time by my peers (had no friends) and family growing up. I really was disgusting though. I'm nothing to write home about now either, but I hope that at least I don't stand out. I have gained a lot of weight too, so I am extra self conscious.

lushly

-Aww sleepie your last post makes me sad. Warm self-care energy to you. (())S The Lush

miyazawa

Sleepie, I feel for you. I also have terribly anxiety and a very poor self-image. I have been managing without Klonopin, but not because of any real effort... I always only used it on rare occasions when I was unable to sleep for days due to anxiety. (Now I've run out and not put any effort into getting back into therapy or seeing a doc to get meds for my anxiety.) I guess part of the reason I only used it in those cases was because it really knocks me out. I desperately wish I just knew how to brush off the things that bother me and what other people think about me, but it's not easy for me like it is for some people. I have people all the time tell me to just relax, as if that's something I can just *do*.

I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.