still moderating
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 116
Personally, I am an alcoholic. Moderation I tried, I failed.
However, I know many people who have had times in their lives when they have abused alcohol heavily who now do drink moderately. I am in no way advocating an alcoholic to drink moderately, that's like giving a fish cat food, but you will know yourself when the time is right whether you can keep this up or if you are in denial.
Either way as may have said before me, SR as a community is here for you if recovery is the road you choose to go down, and I dare say there are many support organisations that would always be open for you as well.
However, I know many people who have had times in their lives when they have abused alcohol heavily who now do drink moderately. I am in no way advocating an alcoholic to drink moderately, that's like giving a fish cat food, but you will know yourself when the time is right whether you can keep this up or if you are in denial.
Either way as may have said before me, SR as a community is here for you if recovery is the road you choose to go down, and I dare say there are many support organisations that would always be open for you as well.
To some of the respondants.......
IF you're truly alcoholic, you CAN'T control your drinking for long - it's not a viable solution for the real alcoholic - period.
hendrixstrat, 3 weeks is .......well, it's 3 weeks. It's a good start - hopefully it works for the rest of your life cuz your life might just depend upon it. Heck, if not drinking, or moderating your drinking works.....and you're life is getting better....and you can keep doing it.......the keep doing it.
For me, moderating doesn't work but "not drinking" doesn't work either. I'm a real alcoholic and my problem is NOT rooted in drinking. My problem centers in the mind, in selfishness and self-centeredness and in lack of power. Drinking is just an outward manifestation of a whole lotta stuff going on inside - dry OR wet. For me, the line "to die an alcoholic death or live upon a spiritual basis" has a lot of truth in it.
"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of very abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."
Granted, not everyone is an alcoholic. Not everyone in AA is an alcoholic. And not everyone on this website is an alcoholic. I know MY truth.....I hope the rest of you folks are (or get) clear on yours.
IF you're truly alcoholic, you CAN'T control your drinking for long - it's not a viable solution for the real alcoholic - period.
hendrixstrat, 3 weeks is .......well, it's 3 weeks. It's a good start - hopefully it works for the rest of your life cuz your life might just depend upon it. Heck, if not drinking, or moderating your drinking works.....and you're life is getting better....and you can keep doing it.......the keep doing it.
For me, moderating doesn't work but "not drinking" doesn't work either. I'm a real alcoholic and my problem is NOT rooted in drinking. My problem centers in the mind, in selfishness and self-centeredness and in lack of power. Drinking is just an outward manifestation of a whole lotta stuff going on inside - dry OR wet. For me, the line "to die an alcoholic death or live upon a spiritual basis" has a lot of truth in it.
"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of very abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."
Granted, not everyone is an alcoholic. Not everyone in AA is an alcoholic. And not everyone on this website is an alcoholic. I know MY truth.....I hope the rest of you folks are (or get) clear on yours.
I tried to moderate. I realized one day that the fact that I was putting so much thought into "moderating" was a clear indication that I had a problem much much bigger than me. One evening when you arent moderating I suggest you check out an AA meeting. Just listen when you go. I promise you will get a whole new take on your realtionship (moderating or not) with alcohol. Best of luck my friend!
I tried to moderate my drinking too, it never worked for very long. And when I wasn't drinking I was thinking about it all the time. It's easier for me to have none than one...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Hampshire, UK
Posts: 10
I stopped drinking for 3 years, knowing at the time that I was an alcoholic (and drinking pretty steadily throughout the week). Then, 2 years ago, I had a conversation with someone about why I wasn't drinking, and his words "moderation is the key" latched onto me like a virus. It wasn't his fault, I used it as an excuse to trick myself into drinking again.
I did moderate my drinking for some time, then eventually thought "wouldn't it be nice to get hammered, just once?". So, I did, and then fell into a pattern of erratic, binge drinking. I started keeping a drinking diary a year ago, and the numbers are all over the place, but getting steadily higher. This is my pattern now (rather than continuous as it was before). Don't know why, I think it is this tug-of-war battle between the part of me that still believes that I can moderate (for a while), and the part of me that wants to just go for it. It is true, I can moderate for a while, then all hell breaks loose again.
All I need to do is refer back to my diary to see that my continuing attempts to moderate are killing me. My 2 year moderation experiment just ended with a four day bender, so I guess that's failed then
Anyway, day 3 for me now. Maybe this is an experiment we all have to try? I don't know. If it works, then that's great. If not, then (for me) it's 2 years down the drain and even worse health.
I did moderate my drinking for some time, then eventually thought "wouldn't it be nice to get hammered, just once?". So, I did, and then fell into a pattern of erratic, binge drinking. I started keeping a drinking diary a year ago, and the numbers are all over the place, but getting steadily higher. This is my pattern now (rather than continuous as it was before). Don't know why, I think it is this tug-of-war battle between the part of me that still believes that I can moderate (for a while), and the part of me that wants to just go for it. It is true, I can moderate for a while, then all hell breaks loose again.
All I need to do is refer back to my diary to see that my continuing attempts to moderate are killing me. My 2 year moderation experiment just ended with a four day bender, so I guess that's failed then
Anyway, day 3 for me now. Maybe this is an experiment we all have to try? I don't know. If it works, then that's great. If not, then (for me) it's 2 years down the drain and even worse health.
Hi Hendrix - I think you have to look at what constitutes "moderate drinking." For guys, it's 2-3 drinks per day max (one drink = a beer, 5 oz. wine, or 1 1/2 oz. liquor). I can't remember ever following those guidelines or having a small glass of wine for my "health."
It's great that you're trying, though. I had to do the same thing before I finally gave up and accepted my drinking for what it was.
We all just want the very best for you.
It's great that you're trying, though. I had to do the same thing before I finally gave up and accepted my drinking for what it was.
We all just want the very best for you.
Pretty much it, in a nutshell. Non-alcoholics don't have to "try" or make a big deal about it. They just do it.
At one point earlier in my drinking life I was able to "moderate" my drinking for about four or five years. This was after an extended period of extremely heavy daily drinking during which I wrecked a marriage, wrecked two vehicles, blew a graduate degree and generally made a complete ass of myself.
Then I "moderated" for several years, although it wasn't normal drinking - mostly sneaking it or drinking alone. Was not the happiest time of my life, really.
But I couldn't keep it up, some bad stuff happened in my life and off I went to daily drinking-to-blackout again. After a while I realised how out of control I was getting and didn't even bother moderating or making promises to myself; I knew it wouldn't work.
If you're an alcoholic, you cannot moderate your drinking forever.
At one point earlier in my drinking life I was able to "moderate" my drinking for about four or five years. This was after an extended period of extremely heavy daily drinking during which I wrecked a marriage, wrecked two vehicles, blew a graduate degree and generally made a complete ass of myself.
Then I "moderated" for several years, although it wasn't normal drinking - mostly sneaking it or drinking alone. Was not the happiest time of my life, really.
But I couldn't keep it up, some bad stuff happened in my life and off I went to daily drinking-to-blackout again. After a while I realised how out of control I was getting and didn't even bother moderating or making promises to myself; I knew it wouldn't work.
If you're an alcoholic, you cannot moderate your drinking forever.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Upstate NY, in the Adirondacks
Posts: 232
Hi,
My thought is that someone who does NOT have a drinking problem doesn't count the days he/she drinks, or talk about only drinking once a week, or so. They don't drink often and don't think about it. I think you are playing with fire and I pray you don't burn yourself.
Best,
Nancy
My thought is that someone who does NOT have a drinking problem doesn't count the days he/she drinks, or talk about only drinking once a week, or so. They don't drink often and don't think about it. I think you are playing with fire and I pray you don't burn yourself.
Best,
Nancy
The truth for me is there is no such thing as moderation. I have had countless vain attempts to prove I can drink like normal people and I had failed.
However, Hendrix, if you can moderate, then that is great news. I have seen people come to AA and get free that they actually arent alcoholics and they can go and drink moderately.
As others have said, just remember that if you do eventually find moderation not possible, that this website and AA is always here for you, and there is no judgment.
Best of luck to you.
However, Hendrix, if you can moderate, then that is great news. I have seen people come to AA and get free that they actually arent alcoholics and they can go and drink moderately.
As others have said, just remember that if you do eventually find moderation not possible, that this website and AA is always here for you, and there is no judgment.
Best of luck to you.
Well I have made it about 3 weeks in a row that I have drank in moderation about once a week.
I have not been sneaking out to the supermarket to buy beer midweek...
This is not to say I have made it yet, I could at some point **** everthing up and have to think about complete sobriety again,
but right now I think I've got it under control.
I have not been sneaking out to the supermarket to buy beer midweek...
This is not to say I have made it yet, I could at some point **** everthing up and have to think about complete sobriety again,
but right now I think I've got it under control.
But, best of luck to you.
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