Ever gone through a stack of letters and relived your worst moments
 

I was cleaning my room and got two a couple of bins that have been closed since the worst days of my drinking. Some of it is too personal for me to post even anonymously.. But among the wreckage.. numerous letters from my mom just hoping that I would get better and get on the right track in life. Also letters I saved from an old employer that I grew to hate, numerous ones saying what a good job I was doing (before a combination of my drinking and their slave driving took their toll.. i'd say it was 50 / 50). The cherry was finding a domestic violence order against someone I was dating a few years back, stuck to a letter I had hand written explaining I would terminate my relationship with this person if they went back to using narcotics, lied to me or abused me. My life was definitely unmanageable. I feel both moronic for going through all this and putting my family through so much, and elated that I have a grip on how things were and how good they can be now.

The change is amazing uny! I so can relate to the past piece and then seeing where I am today and how I am finally free.

Thx for sharing :)

Hey are you in AA? If so hang onto those letters, you may need them in steps 4 and later.

I am notorious for not opening letters that could mean trouble... Mainly bills and general admin-stuff. I have had a (unscary) email in my inbox for weeks and i can't bring myself to read it, because I just feel like I let down that person (even if I know I didn't really let them down).
Point is- I didn't want to click and read your post because the title hit home so strongly. Talk of crazy thinking!

vee

Hmm...
No.....I'm a "Throw out the negetive quickly" kinda woman.
I really like keeping my thoughts positive...:yup:

A double thanks to CarolD and dgillz. I also throw out the "bad" stuff, but was thinking when I read your post, how valuable that stuff could be in step-work, AA or not. Even if you've gone through all 12 steps, I believe one should review/re-do, as time goes on.

Perceptions change, self-image can, and should, (if appropriate) be revised.

Growing is not over unless/until you think/decide it is. We all have our limits.

Good post!