bellakeller

Many people have others in their lives who struggle with addiction. The more people I talk to the more I realize that people don't judge me for taking steps to recovery; they only wish their loved ones would do the same.

I too work in a "delicate" profession. I no longer shudder to think what people would think of me if they knew about my struggles and my recovery. I just don't have that luxury anymore... And it's turning out that things are only positive when people find out about my new path.

Pete55

I am very new to forum AA stuff, but getting the hang of it...,
Not new to the similarities of alcoholism on the net or "the world out there" ,
However,
In our meetings we have many that are in the mediocal proffesion to, I asked them many questions in my early days of recovery. Yes, a small country town will not understand and it is sensible to retain your anonominity for the time being. Look at it this way, by having an open mind, getting some experience in the program of recovery by recovering yourself first, you then fit in a better position maybe for others in future that cross your path and will listen due to your qualifications.

Dr Bob was a in the medical world and co-founder of AA for heavens sake, he understood, and from my understanding he probably understood better than Bill W.
Dr Bob's group back then had a 75% success rate in the 40's, it is no where near that today.
Dr Silkworth explains the condition and the rest of the "big book" was written by alchies who have recovered, many have re-lapsed!
Who ya gonna listen to, the recovered or the re-lapsers?
The disease of alcoholism and the physical alergy does not discriminate weather you are a doctor or a zoo keeper.

As far as your personal relationship is concerned, I can only speak from my own experience, and that was last year during my Step 4 inventory, I had to let go, it hurt, yes indeed I actually went to my GP and got tests for these pains in the heart.
Turned out I was ok physicaly, so my pain was emotional.

ha! funny enough, sneaky mind DID say, "take a drink of wine to ease the pain"!! True strory!!, but I was smarter, I could "see" by then it was the mind as Dr. Silkworth say's so.

So what did I do next ?
My HP, I turned my attention to my HP and sort of asked, "hey, what's the deal here buddy, I'm in pain, I got A+ for physical, I got nuthin in in life except scribblings on my Step 4 and my mind is now telling me to take a drink!, what now???!!!
Then, I remembered, "ahaaa, the pain, thankyou for the gift of pain, for this is the pain I put everyone through all these years when I drank out of control"
And then, I felt the meaning of Humilty.

The pain in my heart left left a week later, my drinking "enviro-MENATALISTS are gone, I completed my steps, a bit late, but got through it and sober today to tell another story.

artsoul

It IS maddening..... hard to admit that a lousy drink can take us down when we consider ourselves intelligent, successful, motivated individuals who have been able manage our lives in every other way.

Hard to admit we need help to do something, ya know?

I like what mtnmagic said: If someone presented themselves with the same history as yours, what would you recommend to them?

Give yourself a little love and understand and start believing that you deserve a better life..... then act on it.......

kiki5711

I vote "get rid of the partner" FIRST! that jerk, should not be treating you that way!!!!!!!! arghhhh I feel mad just reading about it.

you might even see how much more you will want to stop drinking;/drugs etc.. after he goes... HIs toxic presence is not helping you wanting to stop.

pattenat

Miela,

I'm envious of your postion! You have the means to get out of your abusive relationship and then work on dedicating the time to work on yourself without the hassels of the relationship.

I'm not fortunate enough to have that option. I have to help me before I can get out. Makes recovery a bit tougher.

Good luck in what ever you decided. The important thing is you do decide to get help.

xoxoxo

CarolD

Yes...I do remember you and I'm sorry your drinking has not stopped.


For me to actually quit...I had to want to do so more than I wanted to drink
With my expereince in mind....I wish you desperation and then lasting sobreity.

Blessings to you and your child...Welcome back to SR...

reggiewayne

Miela... you can't do this on your own. You just can't. It's that simple. I have been sober for 82 days and if I didn't have my core group in AA and my sponsor there is no way I would have been able to stay sober. I really hope you can change your position on this issue. I promise you, the level of your importance is probably off. The people who you think are judging you, don't care. They are much more worried about them than they are you. You'll see, as I have in AA, that our ego's need (desperately need) to be deflated.

I go to a meeting once per week and in that meeting is a person that I would guess every body is this forum would know. He / She is very famous. The first time I saw her / him at a meeting I was like "hey is that so and so". And the person next to me said, "Yup". Guess what? That's it. There were no autographs signed, or people asking her / him for money, etc... This person was just another drunk trying to get better. He/ She actually discussed her / him coming to meetings when everyone in the state (country for that matter) knows him/ her. The topic of the meeting was ego. She / him discussed how they stayed a prisoner to their disease for years because they feel like they had to do it on their own.

You have to understand that some of the people that are in AA are actually much better than you at being sober. They understand where you are coming from and they (and only they) can understand what it's like being an alcoholic. AA is a proven solution. Your plan (as was mine) is a proven failure. Drop your plan and go to the one that works. I promise you won't be dissapointed...

I am normally very positive and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but if this person is able to go to AA then you can to. You're either being consumed with fear (and I get that) or your using it as an excuse. Either way, you're only hurting yourself.

All you have to do is to go to AA and participate. If you do that you can get better... It's really that simple. I wish you the best!

rondfw777

I lost my Job, but saved my life!! and my family.

nvrbeentospain

Hey, Miela
Don't know how this works in other countries, but in the US, most professional groups have an addiction recovery program that you could contact. They can set you up with more anonymous ways to achieve sobriety and can help you protect your license.

Otherwise, could you take a leave of absence and go to rehab somewhere? You don't need to tell anybody what that leave of absence is for.