f*ck the beautiful ugly poison!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 10
f*ck the beautiful ugly poison!!!
I'm 27 and have been going on benders since 17. I was always kind of shy around people, but alcohol seemed to relax this and make me more confident.
So much so that i would rarely venture out of the house unless i had a few drinks to 'relax' myself, but this last few years ive cut down and have been socializeing without alcohol which i wasnt doing before, but every week i still go on at least a 1day bender which usually goes on 2days.
After these benders i dont want to do anything, and it usually takes me about 2days to recover and do anything productive. My anxiety goes through the roof when i be around people i do be twitching etc..all because of this f*ck of a substance.
This last while i've been finding that alcohol makes me think mad things when coming down off it the demons seem to be on both my shoulders, but when i'm off it a few days i start feeling great again and invariably go to celebrate this with another drink that kickstarts the cycle again.
I'm 27 still pretty young i really need to kick this habit that has been controlling my life since i've been about 17
So much so that i would rarely venture out of the house unless i had a few drinks to 'relax' myself, but this last few years ive cut down and have been socializeing without alcohol which i wasnt doing before, but every week i still go on at least a 1day bender which usually goes on 2days.
After these benders i dont want to do anything, and it usually takes me about 2days to recover and do anything productive. My anxiety goes through the roof when i be around people i do be twitching etc..all because of this f*ck of a substance.
This last while i've been finding that alcohol makes me think mad things when coming down off it the demons seem to be on both my shoulders, but when i'm off it a few days i start feeling great again and invariably go to celebrate this with another drink that kickstarts the cycle again.
I'm 27 still pretty young i really need to kick this habit that has been controlling my life since i've been about 17
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
When you start feeling great you must be most vigilant. Try to keep occupied. Drink lots of water and think about how good it feels to be healthy and not losing days to recovering from a bender. Good luck and welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
Page 22 and 23 of the "big book" of AA
"We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men.We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop. The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this.
These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink, thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion."
(written in 1939)
Key words here are, "terrible cycle".
Geez buddy, when I was 27, I was at that prime time in life, had it all, yet alone, but thought I was bullet-proof.
I was earning good money and "rewarded" myself with indulgence of substances and alcohol.
By the time I was 30, I lost it all, the lot, gone, slipped through my fingers facing court and probability of a prison term. ( for the record, suspended sentence)
Then a 2nd chance, a loving wife, and 9 years later lost the lot, again.
9 years later I found myself in AA. I got nothing I had, much older and physicaly battered, but alive and well, somehow survived.
Gee wish I had known of this when I was 27. You are so lucky you are here seeking a solution and found some hope.
Page 21.
"But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink."
BB quotes-1st. Edition
"We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men.We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop. The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this.
These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink, thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion."
(written in 1939)
Key words here are, "terrible cycle".
Geez buddy, when I was 27, I was at that prime time in life, had it all, yet alone, but thought I was bullet-proof.
I was earning good money and "rewarded" myself with indulgence of substances and alcohol.
By the time I was 30, I lost it all, the lot, gone, slipped through my fingers facing court and probability of a prison term. ( for the record, suspended sentence)
Then a 2nd chance, a loving wife, and 9 years later lost the lot, again.
9 years later I found myself in AA. I got nothing I had, much older and physicaly battered, but alive and well, somehow survived.
Gee wish I had known of this when I was 27. You are so lucky you are here seeking a solution and found some hope.
Page 21.
"But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink."
BB quotes-1st. Edition
Last edited by CarolD; 02-20-2011 at 09:44 PM. Reason: Source added per SR copy right guideline
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