Change4life

The past 2 weeks have been hell for me. My gf and had been working together, but I think living and working together was just too much especially since the job became very stressful. We decided to quit because it was ruinig us without considering the economic factors.... More stress more arguing.we finally had a huge alcohol induced fight friday night cause she had stayed up all thursday drinking well into friday afternoon, by night fall it became chaotic. the police were called and I was asked to leave. Spent a few nights on the beach and then I ran into someone I knew that invited me to stay with them. Didnt know them well enough though, all drugs and They stole what little money I had. I told a coworker (also alcoholic) what was happening and they made me get my things and stay with them. I decided gf and I are toxic together as long as there is alcohol involved, but I am heartbroken. I went on such a bender I have been really sick since. trying to regroup

CarolD

Beth...
this seems like a good time to get yourself into a
long term treatment facility.

No place to live....no money....no Gf....no solid job..
drinking...fighting..cops involved....risky behavior and situations .
that can be turned into solid action for your future...

My son is coming out of those negetive situations by
living in a Sally Center in Tulsa...and re training for employment.

Your thoughts?

Dee74

I know it's not what you want to hear but I agree with Carol, B.

You're sleeping on park benches and being abused by acquaintances...you've been here before Beth....

We get too old for that life - it's time to end the cycle once and for all, my friend....make some brave decisions.

I hope you can see that


D

Change4life

I would rather die than live in a long term "facility" and I hardly need re training for employment. Its like pulling teeth just to get myself to AA. I really dont see how being locked in a facility is any better than trying to keep my job. I get to go there and maybe they let me go to work. I get to go on the little special bus and work for minimum wage, which they probably take anyway. Been here before and pulled it together, will do it again. I made some bad choices in the past few weeks, but not giving up.

c49

You may not have reached your bottom yet, but what if you dont need to?

Years ago I was boozing and managed to achieve great success' at work. But drinking eventually ruined my mind and marriage until I sobered up. Dont let that happen to you. You may be right that you and your girlfriend are toxic for each other with the booze SO why not give into the long term sobriety that we did and see where things go. Hasnt there been enough damage?

We cannot give you much more advice other than what Carol and Dee and others have already given you at these crossroads... you see what living in the bottles has done against you and that is not likely to fix anything for the better.

All of us can testify to resisting the call to become sober, and all of us can swear that living sober is the best choice we can make to deal with our demons. Those demons will still be there and try to chip away at you sober, but living in that cloud of booze will only guarantee that those demons will eventually chop you down. Too many of us say the same things over and over for a good reason...

I ate my pride almost 2 years ago and got help. IT was a leap of faith and one I wrestled with for too long. I would do it again in a second if I slipped back into the bottle... living without sobriety is no way to live.

Please do give it a try

UniqueNewYork

Sounds unmanageable. Why are you staying with her? Hopes that history won't repeat itself? I had a relationship like this. It ended with the girl OD'ing. I was able to forgive myself for my role, and I have shut the memories away in a place in my mind where I very rarely visit. Or maybe I killed all those brain cells. Who knows. Let me tell you if you think cops being called is as bad as it gets you're just wrong. It does sound like a very toxic relationship. You're just playing russian roulette. You don't have to though thats whats so stupid about the whole thing.


Look, I know that you have this fear. This fear of being alone. Maybe this significant other knows you very well. So you feel like you need to stay with them. You're comfortable with them. They laugh at the same jokes. You have had a lot of experiences together. La dee frickin daaaa.

Let me tell you something, I was the biggest a hole and the biggest loser on the planet in the prime of my drinking career. I was such a loser that I stayed with this girl because I lacked the social skills, the confidence, the sobriety, whatever, to find someone else. So because of this I had to endure the most painful experience of my life so far. You know what I learned from this experience? F- weakness. F- being with someone because you are too lazy to get off your ass and go work out or lift weights or watch what you eat. F being with someone because you are wracked with anxiety and depression because you sweep all your issues under the rug instead of dealing with them. F not having a job because you are always calling in sick or coming in hung over.

Today, every day of my life, I make time to go to the gym. Every day of my life I take whatever steps I need to not drink. Every day I'm scheduled to work I'm there early and leave late. Every night I thank my higher power I choose to call God for everything in my life. I am constantly letting myself be inspired by everything around me. I am constantly trying to rise to the challenge. Its ok to get knocked down as long as you get back up.